B
Bunny
Guest
We have this couple that we are very good friends with. Actually, husband went to high school with both of them. When husband and I started dating I found out that the wife, C, and I had alot of things in common and have been close friends ever since. The husband, J, was an usher in our wedding. husband also plays hockey with J, so they see each other alot at the dek. They know about the problems that we have had with difficult child and C has always been a good listener about what is going on over there. They have no kids because of infertility problems, so it's not like they are childless by choice.
J is a HUGE Steelers fan and every time they are in the Superbowl they have a big party, but this year C told me that they were not going to have the party because she was not up to it. When the Steelers made it to the Superbowl difficult child asked if C and J were going to have a party and would we have to go. I told him no, because that was what C told me. About a week later, C changed her mind and the party was on. She kept asking me if we were coming and I told her that husband and I haven't really talked about it. I was being evasive about it because I had already told difficult child that there was not going to be a party and that we were staying home Sunday night, and I had not had a chance to talk to husband about the fact that now telling difficult child that we were going to go was going to cause a problem with him. I was really tring to figure out what to do. In the meanwhile, husband tells C and J that we are going to the party, without asking me what I wanted to do. I was not pleased and I told him why. husband asks difficult child if he wants to go and he says "No! Mom already told me that we weren't going to the party and I won't go." husband is angry, but I told him that we had already told difficult child one thing and that he knows what happens when things change. difficult child can't deal wiith it, and in my opinion a Superbowl party was not worth having a meltdown over. husband finally agrees with me that we won't go and I tell C that we can't make the party.
A few days later husband and J have a hockey game and J asks why we won't be at the party. husband tells him it's because difficult child is giving us a hard time about going, which J turns around and reports to his wife. I get an e-mail from C yesterday telling me that she understand why we didn't come, but that if it were her kid she would have made him go and I should not allow my kids to dictate what we do and do not attend.
How do I repond to this? I would never say to her that since she has no kids she has no clue what's like to parent a difficult child, because that would just be cruel and I would never do that to her, but in a way I feel like what she said to me was cruel as well.
Any thought? This is not worth losing a good friendship over, but I don't know what to say to her about it now.
Actually it was a good thing that we didn't go because difficult child was sound asleep by 7:00 pm Sunday night. If he was that tired he would have been a nightmare at the party.
Pam
J is a HUGE Steelers fan and every time they are in the Superbowl they have a big party, but this year C told me that they were not going to have the party because she was not up to it. When the Steelers made it to the Superbowl difficult child asked if C and J were going to have a party and would we have to go. I told him no, because that was what C told me. About a week later, C changed her mind and the party was on. She kept asking me if we were coming and I told her that husband and I haven't really talked about it. I was being evasive about it because I had already told difficult child that there was not going to be a party and that we were staying home Sunday night, and I had not had a chance to talk to husband about the fact that now telling difficult child that we were going to go was going to cause a problem with him. I was really tring to figure out what to do. In the meanwhile, husband tells C and J that we are going to the party, without asking me what I wanted to do. I was not pleased and I told him why. husband asks difficult child if he wants to go and he says "No! Mom already told me that we weren't going to the party and I won't go." husband is angry, but I told him that we had already told difficult child one thing and that he knows what happens when things change. difficult child can't deal wiith it, and in my opinion a Superbowl party was not worth having a meltdown over. husband finally agrees with me that we won't go and I tell C that we can't make the party.
A few days later husband and J have a hockey game and J asks why we won't be at the party. husband tells him it's because difficult child is giving us a hard time about going, which J turns around and reports to his wife. I get an e-mail from C yesterday telling me that she understand why we didn't come, but that if it were her kid she would have made him go and I should not allow my kids to dictate what we do and do not attend.
How do I repond to this? I would never say to her that since she has no kids she has no clue what's like to parent a difficult child, because that would just be cruel and I would never do that to her, but in a way I feel like what she said to me was cruel as well.
Any thought? This is not worth losing a good friendship over, but I don't know what to say to her about it now.
Actually it was a good thing that we didn't go because difficult child was sound asleep by 7:00 pm Sunday night. If he was that tired he would have been a nightmare at the party.
Pam