Steely,
I've been around for 9 years now. What I offer may be useless, I don't know. People may groan when they see I've responded to their posts (though I sincerely hope not!!!).
What I *do* know is the impact that other posters' input has had on my parenting and my life in general. I was a frazzled mom with an out of control kid, and I was pretty much coming unglued when I arrived. The most important part of this board for me at that time was that I could come and vent and whine and detail the antics of thank you in all their glory, and not *once* did anyone ever blame me or my parenting, or tell me I just needed to spank him or give him time outs or whatever, nor did anyone ever not believe the extent of his behaviors. In other words, it was virtually the complete opposite of the "support" I was getting in real life.
I was educated here on how to be a better advocate for him. There are certain long-time members whose kids are now adults who were/are without question mentors for me. Not even because they responded specifically to a post of mine, but because they shared *their* world with me. It gave me hope to at least survive this difficult child parenting, because at that time I truly wasn't sure I was going to.
I remember around the time I joined, Fran's signature said her son had been in EGBS for 18 months. I very clearly remember thinking - no *way* could I survive thank you being gone for that long. And here we are now, with thank you out of my home for 8 years. The parents who are a little ahead of us on this road support us, and we support the parents who are coming along behind us.
Detachment? Oh my gosh... I never would have figured that one out on my own.
I feel like this community here, newbies and oldies, understand where we've been and where we're going far better than anyone else.
So I sincerely hope that I offer input that is thoughtful and helpful. I also hope that someday, some parent will find hope because I'm still standing... they can survive it too. It would be nice if I could offer one day the magic word or strategy, but... somehow I don't think that's going to happen.
I wash my walls now because of Did-I.
It's not just difficult child-related advice that has changed my world.