TiredSoul
Warrior Mom since 2007
If we manage difficult childs environment so much as to not allow any disappointing moments or any frustration then we have a mostly content child and no blowups. That would mean not telling him no, not telling him to do anything he doesnt want to do, buying him poker chips for his online game when he loses all of his, keeping his time occupied with all the things he wants to do, never letting him become bored, buying him everything he wants, etc. That is not one bit realistic! So here is my question
What can be done to help him deal with frustration, disappointment, boredom, etc? Those things are going to happen, so what can we do to teach him how to accept it and deal with it? If medication isnt going to be the answer then what types of therapy work for this? What is it exactly that he lacks and how do we fix it? We know he has low frustration tolerance. Is it a control thing like does he feel out of control when those situations occur and so he flips out as a way to try to control it? I just dont understand. In my logical brain, we need to identify the problems (why he does what he does) and then find a solution. Below are his triggers which usually result in either defiance or verbal/physical aggression. I am not sure what the possible functions of his behavior are - my guess would be maybe avoidance (avoiding the task, avoiding certain feelings / disappointment....?).
Being told no
Being told to do something he doesnt want to do
Wanting something he cant have
Friend leaving / wanting to play with someone else
Boredom
Losing his chips on his computer game
Sense of things being unfair
Someone else not following the rules
Does anyone have any ideas?
What can be done to help him deal with frustration, disappointment, boredom, etc? Those things are going to happen, so what can we do to teach him how to accept it and deal with it? If medication isnt going to be the answer then what types of therapy work for this? What is it exactly that he lacks and how do we fix it? We know he has low frustration tolerance. Is it a control thing like does he feel out of control when those situations occur and so he flips out as a way to try to control it? I just dont understand. In my logical brain, we need to identify the problems (why he does what he does) and then find a solution. Below are his triggers which usually result in either defiance or verbal/physical aggression. I am not sure what the possible functions of his behavior are - my guess would be maybe avoidance (avoiding the task, avoiding certain feelings / disappointment....?).
Being told no
Being told to do something he doesnt want to do
Wanting something he cant have
Friend leaving / wanting to play with someone else
Boredom
Losing his chips on his computer game
Sense of things being unfair
Someone else not following the rules
Does anyone have any ideas?