ShakespeareMamaX
New Member
Hello, everybody! I have a few things to discuss here and need some lovin'.
First thing, my difficult child is a bit out of control, lately... Is no good! He's gotten to the point of defiance where he told me and my husband (after nearly throwing a chair out of anger because I asked him to do something) that he didn't HAVE to listen and didn't HAVE to go to his room because he didn't FEEL like it. All this, calm, cool and collected, looking us straight in the eyes. Now, one of my most hated DXs is ODD (no offense to all of you with this diagnosis in their lives!). It's just my personal opinion and I believe it's probably one of the hardest things that could be diagnosed because some kids, well....just don't want to listen.
Enough about my opinions, though. I assume this is what goes on at school. I do, as well as the school, see him getting more and more aggressive as time goes on. I'm relating this to another one of his "cycles". Nobody wants to listen to me about my theory, but it just so happens that this is what's CLEARLY going on! I think I'll print out a line graph on some fliers and hand 'em out.
And if I didn't mention it before, the cycle is skyrocketing...QUICKLY. He pushed one girl, slapped another and slammed 5 kids down to the ground during recess.
Enough of that, though.
Problem number two: My husband is throwing a FIT because my difficult child's father and I are getting along...very well. I mean...not in a romantically threatening way (gag), but we talk on the phone everyday and he gives me rides to my kids' and my appts (as nobody else can). He came to my house one night, having bought dinner for difficult child and himself, and sat in my kitchen to eat it with him as I just kinda wandered around the house.
husband's problems:
1. Biodad should NOT be in our house.
2. Biodad should NOT be giving me rides, ANYWHERE (even to the hospital if he's in the area. husband said he'd rather call a cab).
3. If difficult child's in trouble at school and needs to be picked up, I have no right to go with biodad. In fact, husband said he'd rather I just walked than go with biodad.
4. I need to stop talking on the phone with him and stop being "best buddies" and knock everything down to no more than "cordial".
5. Biodad was going to lend me his car (when I could still drive), as mine has been broken for a while, so I could get to all my appts and such (he uses his work van for everything and his car just sits in the parking lot). No no no...not allowed. Waaaaaay over the limit.
6. Biodad should not be attending therapy sessions with difficult child and me. It's just him, or just me.
7. I should not be there if biodad is there and difficult child has a reg doctor appointment or dentist appointment.
husband claims this has nothing to do with security issues. He trusts me, he says, and doesn't think there's any attraction like that with each other. He says he thinks everytime I call/text someone, it's biodad. He doesn't want to be around his AT ALL unless he's picking difficult child up or dropping him off. We can only talk on the phone if it's strictly about difficult child and that's it. We shouldn't be talking about biodad's family, where he's moving, the girl he's interested in, etc...
Am I wrong? Please be honest. Of course I'm angry about this and feel my husband is completely out of line, but constructive critisism never hurt and may open my eyes.
HELP!!!
First thing, my difficult child is a bit out of control, lately... Is no good! He's gotten to the point of defiance where he told me and my husband (after nearly throwing a chair out of anger because I asked him to do something) that he didn't HAVE to listen and didn't HAVE to go to his room because he didn't FEEL like it. All this, calm, cool and collected, looking us straight in the eyes. Now, one of my most hated DXs is ODD (no offense to all of you with this diagnosis in their lives!). It's just my personal opinion and I believe it's probably one of the hardest things that could be diagnosed because some kids, well....just don't want to listen.
Enough about my opinions, though. I assume this is what goes on at school. I do, as well as the school, see him getting more and more aggressive as time goes on. I'm relating this to another one of his "cycles". Nobody wants to listen to me about my theory, but it just so happens that this is what's CLEARLY going on! I think I'll print out a line graph on some fliers and hand 'em out.
And if I didn't mention it before, the cycle is skyrocketing...QUICKLY. He pushed one girl, slapped another and slammed 5 kids down to the ground during recess.
Enough of that, though.
Problem number two: My husband is throwing a FIT because my difficult child's father and I are getting along...very well. I mean...not in a romantically threatening way (gag), but we talk on the phone everyday and he gives me rides to my kids' and my appts (as nobody else can). He came to my house one night, having bought dinner for difficult child and himself, and sat in my kitchen to eat it with him as I just kinda wandered around the house.
husband's problems:
1. Biodad should NOT be in our house.
2. Biodad should NOT be giving me rides, ANYWHERE (even to the hospital if he's in the area. husband said he'd rather call a cab).
3. If difficult child's in trouble at school and needs to be picked up, I have no right to go with biodad. In fact, husband said he'd rather I just walked than go with biodad.
4. I need to stop talking on the phone with him and stop being "best buddies" and knock everything down to no more than "cordial".
5. Biodad was going to lend me his car (when I could still drive), as mine has been broken for a while, so I could get to all my appts and such (he uses his work van for everything and his car just sits in the parking lot). No no no...not allowed. Waaaaaay over the limit.
6. Biodad should not be attending therapy sessions with difficult child and me. It's just him, or just me.
7. I should not be there if biodad is there and difficult child has a reg doctor appointment or dentist appointment.
husband claims this has nothing to do with security issues. He trusts me, he says, and doesn't think there's any attraction like that with each other. He says he thinks everytime I call/text someone, it's biodad. He doesn't want to be around his AT ALL unless he's picking difficult child up or dropping him off. We can only talk on the phone if it's strictly about difficult child and that's it. We shouldn't be talking about biodad's family, where he's moving, the girl he's interested in, etc...
Am I wrong? Please be honest. Of course I'm angry about this and feel my husband is completely out of line, but constructive critisism never hurt and may open my eyes.
HELP!!!