I am exhausted....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jun 8, 2012.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hi all,

    I have not been sleeping well.... you know anxiety... can get to sleep but get to bed late and wake up early and cannot get back to sleep.

    I had the day off today and spent the whole day waiting for the phone to ring about this new tx place for my son..... last night I heard they would accept him (it is one of the places we looked at before... you know no smoking etc) but we needed to go over the financial stuff etc. So waited and waited, worried how he was going to get from one place to the next, got on line and looked up transportation options etc. etc etc.... and I am just exhausted. He should be on his way and now I am just waiting to hear he got there. I never got out of my robe... never took a shower, never took that walk I was going to take.... and I think I am going to have an early dinner and go to bed as soon as we here he is there safe and sound!!!

    This new program does sound good.... his therapst at the place he is leaving does think he has made some progress... even with everything so lets hope that is true. I do think they have uncovered some stuff and opened up some issues... lets hope that continues. My faith in the future dips a little more each time.... but we shall see.

    I need to catch up on everyone else and will do that when I am feeling coherent.

  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Good luck to your difficult child. Let's hope this tx center is appropriate and a lot more patient with him. Looking forward to your update. TL, just thinking about all you've done in the past few months just makes me exhausted thinking of it! You deserve a break and some really good news, and some restful sleep. Hugs to you and difficult child, too. Hang in there.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am exhausted for you TL. I don't know how you keep going, how you find the energy both physically and emotionally to make all these arrangements. I would want you on my team anyday. Hopefully he gets there saefly and begins the hard work ahead. Then maybe you can get some rest.

  4. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    I know only too well the not sleeping business. You are a great warrior mom. I am glad he is not giving up (we hope) and that there is someplace maybe even better for him. So much pain and suffering for you. Hope there is some relief soon.
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, TL, it has been just non-stop for you. No wonder you are exhausted!! I'm glad you will get a chance to get some rest now.

  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Thanks everyone. Boy a good nights sleep sure makes a difference. I slept a solid 8 hours last night which i haven't done for a long time and feel much better this morning. I really don't know how we can keep doing this, I just hope this time he sticks it out without behaving badly. The thing is if he was using drugs and relapsing with substances i would walk away.... but that is not what he is doing this tme. I can see that along with all the bad stuff he is making progress and starting to get at his real issues.... and I can't walk away from this moment of possible breakthrough... so I did what I could to get him help. Now I need to sit back, let go and hope that this time he will get somewhere.

    Not sure what I will do if he screws up again... the thought leaves a pit in my stomach which I am trying to ignore right now.

  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive hugs. I lived "on the edge" for years with GFGmom and really doubted I'd survive the constant cloud of potential doom. When easy child/difficult child got to his teens I was back to fearing each call or pacing in anticipation of the next hoped for call. I do understand.

    You are doing an awesome job. One "trick" I used a couple of time when I was completely drained might help if you can trust husband or your easy child. When I literally felt like I was on the verge of falling apart for lack of sleep I sat down and asked another family member to be "in charge of the phone". They promised they would come awaken me immediately if a call came in. (by the way, a call never did come in on those few occasions) That allowed me to fall sound assleep with-o keep my ear on alert for the phone. I don't remember what the levels are for sleep but, lol, I got to the level where you actually rejuvenate instead of just hovering in a light doze. Fingers crossed for you. DDD