I am having a Mothers Day party allright.........

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Steely, May 13, 2007.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    A party where my pity and I have taken center stage................... :mad:

    I usually try so hard to not count on things from outside sources to make myself feel whole and complete - but today has just really gotten to me. I don't know how it even happened, but suddenly I am really really sad. difficult child got out of phosph last week, so this month has been horrible, and I guess I need a little something from difficult child....some kudos, or hugs, or a nice gesture from him that says he appreciated my presence in his life.

    Instead - last night difficult child said after seeing a Mothers Day commercial,
    "Ya know I love ya Mom - I just don't believe in partcipating in society's pretend holidays."
    "Sure - whatever," I replied. Although inside I was thinking after all I have done for you, you can't swallow your pride and at least make me breakfast, pick me flowers, something?

    Then EX called to give me a time he would pick difficult child up today. I asked EX about how his dog and her new litter of puppies were, and he replied -
    "Geez, that dog (the mommy) is so F***ing needy - it is like being around you". This was it my friends - I steamed over this for - well, I am still steaming. This is the EX that has never given me a dime for child support - never! This is the EX that from the time difficult child was 4 until he was 16, had not seen him. I have taken care of everything - every financial resposibility, every medical issue, every school issue......I am the one that held difficult child through every meltdown, every breakdown, every suicidal rage.....and I am the one needy??????

    Anyway, now I need to go suck it up and visit my mom on Mother's Day....and my sick father. (As you might now he was recently diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, a very aggressive form, with a short life expectantancy.) It is all I can do to go over there today, because I feel already so overwhelmed, so saddended by my Dad's drastic deterioration.

    Then I will come back here, and mow the line, edge, mop floors, etc etc., all the things we single moms always do - but somehow today it will all be done with a bitter bead of resentment lodged in my throat.

    There has got to be a better way.
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Life is too short to let the jerks bring you down....

    Go visit your parents and know that you are a valuable mom and daughter.....we are aware of your true worth!
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Try to hang in there and know you are not alone. I just hung pictures, getting ready to do yardwork, then will clean inside while doing laundry.
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    amber..hmmm maybe it is time to stop participating in those other holidays....ya know. their birthdays christmas gifts for them, etc etc.

    the only good thing about your ex is that...EX
    yay! be glad that idiot is not your problem anymore.

    I am sorry your dad is ill. I hope seeing his baby girl makes him smile.
  5. bystander

    bystander New Member

    I'm so sorry. For some reason, stuff like that really seems to sting on Mother's Day. In all honesty, my kid was an absolute brat this morning. :mad:

    Also, a long-time friend of ours, whose surprise party she was throwing for her husband in 6 weeks, died this past Tuesday suddenly. The wake was today. :crying: Can't leave DS with DM anyway for more than an hour; and couldn't get a sitter on Mother's Day. So, husband went.

    Bummer of a day.
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Yeah you are SO needy. You don't do a thing for anyone!!! HA!!!
    That's a laugh... we do know and appreciate your worth!!! You are doing a wonderful thing and thank goodness EX is an EX, Right?!?!?!
    What would happen to these kids if it wasn't for people like you, Mom's like you??? As we all know the answers are not good.

    Hang in there... big hugs.

    I am cleaning out my mini van!!! Couldn't leave or do anything else, difficult child 1 is too depressed... :frown: SO husband and difficult child 2 left to go run errands. difficult child 1 tried to help me but the vacuum was too loud in the car...
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thanks guys....I believe my pity party is coming to an end!!! It is amazing what weeding, mowing, and planting flowers can do - it's the best therapy, and gift to myself I possess. And your encouragement is always helpful....it sometimes just takes someone or something to jolt us out of our little, what I call, Eyore moments, (Oh the rain cloud is following me Pooh - Oh Dear, Oh My) and I am glad this board is here for that.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry it was a rough one. I'm glad the outdoor work helped lift your mood. Hugs.
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    One could almost feel sorry for your EX for being so petty after all these years. Almost.

    I'm glad your day is improving.
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Instead of sucking it up, think to yourself, "Thank you, EX, for confirming that throwing you out was the best thing I ever did."

    A close friend of mine actually didn't get to throw her EX out, he left her and moved in with the woman next door, announcing to everyone at church," I am so grateful - God has finally sent me the thin, attractive woman I have always deserved." (My friend would never be called slim but she DID have his two kids, and raise them alone).

    The creep insisted on his access visits but they stopped when the kids refused to see him. EX had been physically abusive during the marriage, the kids had witnessed it even though they were tiny. So over time, she came to realise that the best thing her EX ever did was to leave her and she is grateful to him for that. For nothing else, including support - he never supported her or the kids at all - but for leaving and finally moving interstate - very, very grateful.

  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Amber - sorry I'm so late chiming in. I'm glad that you found respite & joy in working in your yard. I've become more & more convinced that life is what we make of it - our responses to situations, people, etc, can make or break us.

    I love my little pity parties - it's generally a party of one. But they never last long because life is simply too darned short to indulge.

    I'm so glad you had time to yourself to plant flowers. It's good for the soul.