I think I might need some counseling of my own. LONG

[mstang67chic]

I went a bit wacko today and it wasn't pretty. The stupid part....it started out over a half gallon of orange juice.

I have a bad temper, always have. My fuse seems to be random....sometimes it's short and sometimes it take a while but when it blows....duck and run. I'm also a bit selfish and I readily acknowledge this. I worked on it as I grew up and got older but it's still there. Maybe it's from growing up an only child or maybe it's just me but that's how it is.

I've vented before that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of living behind locks in my own house. I know it's a necessity for as long as difficult child lives here but I still hate it with every fiber of my being. The longer it goes on, the more I hate and resent it. I try to treat myself when I can....a paperback book, some good chocolate... anything I can do cheaply for me. I keep the edible things in my room away from difficult child but otherwise in the open. Lately husband has been filching my chocolate. (or my granola bars or....whatever I have that interests him) Honestly, it ticks me off. I bought a box of granola bars a couple of weeks ago and ate one. A few days later I went to get another one and the box was empty. Ticked me off but ok, whatever and bought another box. I love Brach's chocolate stars and never see them but they are out now so I've been buying them. husband eats quite a bit of them. Today I noticed that the oj I bought for the occasional drink (something I rarely do) was almost gone. I'd already said it was for me only and while I haven't actually fixed a drink out of it I have been drinking straight from it as it was mine. When I said something, husband said he drank it so it wouldn't go bad. When I got "miffed", and said it was mine, I bought it (with my unemployment money) and could do what I wanted with it, HE got mad and said "when you get a job, you can say that".

That's when my head exploded.

I yelled, I screamed, I threw things, I started packing a suitcase, I screamed some more. All because he drank my oj without asking.

Gee, do you think I've got issues now about people messing with what I consider to be mine?


Oooops....ignore the LONG part in the title. I thought I was going to vent more but once I got to the part about "do you think I have issues", it all just kind of died out.

 

[Suz]

'Stang, my suggestion is to buy 2 of whatever you want people to stay away from. When I was still in my M&M hoarding days I'd get 2 bags...one for me that I would hide and one for anyone else. That way they thought I was *sharing* and I knew I had my secret stash so I could smile pleasantly.

Hugs,
Suz

 

[DaisyFace]

Stang--

I sympathize...I think it's a respect issue more than anything else. It's really not the OJ or the granola bars, it's the fact that it is gone and no one even thought to ASK. They just took what they wanted and completely disregarded your feelings.

Now me? I get crazy about my office supplies. Sounds dumb, no? But I keep my desk stocked with things that I need--pens, pencils, paper, envelopes, stamps, staples, paper clips, tape etc. I don't even mind when other people use it...all I ask is that they respect that this is my area and if they need something, just ask.

So it bothers the HECK out of me when I find MY pens left somewhere they don't belong....or that the scissors are missing....or the tape is gone....or somebody used all the stamps.

Little inexpensive things, I know....but the point is they for there for me to use...and now they are gone.

No respect. UGGHHH!

--DaisyFace

 

[flutterby]

Totally feel ya. Nothing much is sacred around here (although I don't live behind locks like you), and when something of mine is touched, used, taken, or misplaced I lose my mind.

 

[ThreeShadows]

'Stang you are, right now, surrounded by every conceivable chocolate concoction, both hard and soft ( get your mind out of the gutter), I am referring to truffles, soufflés, crèmes brûlées, mousses au chocolat. You are reclining in a lounge chair in a French 18th century castle and a trusted servant is massaging your feet, even in between your toes. You will not gain a pound, your servant is telling you how much she respects you and how much you deserve this nirvana because you are so special and the others are not, so there!

 

[KTMom91]

I SO understand! I agree, it's a respect thing, and I think it makes me even more crazy because it seems that they think moms exist only to clean up/feed/care for/do laundry for everyone else in the house, so when we finally DO get something that should be just OURS, nobody listens. Around here, Miss KT and Hubby are deficient in "put it BACK" skills. Makes me crazy.

Guess I have some issues here, too. You can come over and share my Irish Creme and Mint Truffle Hershey's Kisses.

 

[Hound dog]

OMG if I could get my hands on those chocolate stars and husband dared touch one he'd have 10 broken fingers. Those have been my all time fav since I was a little girl.

As for the temper.......with difficult children living in the house it happens. All that tension builds, even with as carefully as we try not to let it build, then when it's reaching it's limit it doesn't necessarily take something big to trigger it.

I give myself no luxuries except one.....ok, maybe two but my sims game requires having a computer. lol And I kid you not I will rant and rave and carry on like the world is ending if there is some reason I can't play that game before bed. (like computer dying ect) This is my only treat to myself. It is the only way I ever spend money on me alone. And the whole family knows to hop to it and find a solution FAST if Mom can't play her game.

I guess what I'm getting at is....when you don't have many stress relievers....the ones you do have become even more important than they normally would be.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

((hugs))

 

[rlsnights]

Monkey brain says : (|)


An occasional rant and rave is good for the other inhabitants of the home in my humble opinion. Reminds them you are alive and kicking and you will be kicking them (metaphorically of course) if they don't listen when you say plainly "THIS IS MINE."

Everybody needs something that they do not have to share with anyone else.

 

[Lothlorien]

I read this last night, but was too tired to respond.

Given that 1) you are out of a job and on unemployment, 2) holidays are stressful enough without being on unemployment, and 3) husband's statement was hurtful, I think your overreaction was probably overdue.

Buy some frozen concentrate oj and keep it in the freezer, just for those times that you need it.

Believe me, I have been all over husband lately, myself, when he goes to drink OJ that I bought for the kids, since we are on a super tight budget right now and we are having some financial issues. He made breakfast sandwiches for the guys at work the other day and I almost lost it on him for using up MY english muffins and leaving me with one, when I'm struggling to keep food around for our own family right now.

 

[ML]

As I read your post I was reminded of what my therapist told me this week about resentment. Whenever you feel it, it's because you're not taking care of yourself in some way; not protecting your boundaries. So my advice to you is establish them and to not feel guilty. Your feelings matter. Hugs, ML

 

[mstang67chic]

Daisy....check the Christmas candy aisle at Walmart...that's where I've been finding them.

ML....LOL....I've done that. I've had numerous conversations with husband over the years about things that bug me and why. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes they are just those things that get to you after living with someone for years, Know what I mean?? The resentment though...I don't know. I think I've just had it with the way we have to live and I don't know what to do about it.

I really think I need to go to a counselor, talk to my doctor or both. Between the stress of gfgdom and sometimes nuclear PMS.....there are times I really think I'm losing my mind. Plus factor in the quitting smoking now and the holidays....it's like Pompeii around here. There's a part of me that sits inside my head watching myself blow up and says "Whoa.....you realize you're just going completely bonkers, right?" I know I'm acting like a raving lunatic, I know it's an over reaction but I can't do anything about it sometimes. Even after I calmed down yesterday, I was shopping, went to the birthday party for a friend's son but I was still....off. I was sitting at the computer later thinking about it all and just wanted to bawl. For me, that's big. I rarely cry but I was somewhat during my meltdown. Even today...I was still angry and frustrated. I was playing a game on Facebook, got frustrated and nearly smashed my mouse. A friend (C) and her husband came over today, we went to lunch, hit Walmart and came back here so C could hem some pants for me. I was fine the whole time they were here. Now...I'm not angry but I can feel it simmering. And it's almost like a part of me has just....I don't know if shut down is the right term but...shut down or gone into sleep mode like a computer does. I don't really know how to describe it. Granted, I'm pretty sure PMS is playing a major part in all of this and just making everything worse but still. This is nuts. I can't live like this and I don't want to submit anyone else to it either.