In dribs and drabs...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    husband has been letting out bits of his recent conversations with M. They haven't spoken much, but certainly more than we have spoken in years.

    M's interview that I bought him clothing for went well. He thinks that they will hire him. I hope so. He's also looking at a temp job that requires a driver's license, and told husband that he needed to get a learner's permit and learn to drive. husband said he should ask L. I am the world's worst passenger, even when the driver knows what they are doing. I'm not doing it. L said "Not in my car! He'll kill my clutch!" What I wonder is how did he lose a beater car two Christmases ago that got stolen/towed if he didn't have a license or know how to drive?

    M talked to me on the phone just after Christmas, full of his usual "Life owes me" attitude. I gave very basic monosyllabic answers. I was pretty unimpressed. husband told me that when he took the phone back M told him "She didn't seem very interested in what I had to say." Duh.

    But the best one that I have heard yet is this little nugget let loose in husband's and my therapy yesterday. "M is beginning to see how hard life can be. He had to sell most of his video game systems and games."


    Life is hard, isn't it!
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Oh, my! Life is really hitting him where it hurts!
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    OMG that's AWFUL. How will he EVER survive without them.


    Yup, life's rough sometimes.
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You know, I think it's a testament to how full of it he can be that he has only paid rent two or three months in the past four years and yet he hung on to his video games and systems until just this winter.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911


    It's a crying, low-down, dirty shame when THEY have to part with something they love.

    difficult child has gotten this lesson - he went with a dvd player, PS2, TV, Stereo, Bike, A few games, and an art kit with about $200 worth of junk in it, 29 pairs of shoes, nice clothes, jeans, socks, underpants -jewelry and he came home with crud that fit in ONE laundry basket.

    WE SAID NOTHING - Life is rough. When he said he needed shampoo, soap, deodorant DF said "I got just what you need" and walked out in the yard and handed him a rake - and difficult child said "What's this?" and DF said 'Unless you got something to barter - you rake for pitt stick, soap and shampoo, then said the hippy Gas, Glass or Bass, no free rides and that includes pit stick."

    I could only utter : BRAVO DADDY o BRAV 0
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Indeed! Bravo Indeed!:bravo:
  7. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    difficult child's and their priorities. lol

    (I still haven't figured out where the real smilies went.) :0(
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Hey, Girlfriend!

    I finally found them on my page after I went to "User CP" and checkd "allow html". Now that I look at the bottom of the "full reply" page (or whatever they are calling it now), I can see under "Miscellaneous Options" below the reply box options for "Automatically embed media" (requires automatic parsing of links in text to be on), and "Disable smilies in text" (This one is now unchecked in my box.)
  9. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Well Witz, at least it does sound like he is seeing parts of life for what it really is and not what he thinks it owes him. It is sad that our difficult children have to learn like that but the bottom line is that they learn..... whatever it takes I guess. :( Sure can be tough on us though. :(

    difficult child came back with nearly everything he went to AZ with except his laptop..and I'm sure his biomom will be sending that pieces no doubt... another tough life lesson. :sad-very:

    Hoping that M gets the job and learns from these lessons.

    Hugs for your heart..
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Robby. I'm glad that husband is interacting with M again. He was supposed to have been the one that took over the parenting all those years ago when things fell apart. I really just couldn't do it any more. But, it wasn't husband's idea to do it at the time, so parenting just fell by the wayside. I'm hopeful that at least one day I won't have to worry every time they talk on the news about "Suspect is a young white man late teens to early twenties..." I mean, even if he's in trouble, I'd at least know where. I know... Baby steps...
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Witz, OBVIOUSLY I have no advice, seeings as my lovely difficult child is really pulling some major doo doo....but I just wanted to say, "I feel your pain", glad that H is talking with M also, and *hoping* he finds his way.
  12. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad


    Truly, this is one for the "I gotta remember that next time" book. Can I use it? PUHLEEEASEEEE???

    Hmm, buddy of mine HAD that bumper sticker, and I don't think it went quite like that. But the message is still the same, even if you use Napoleon Dynamite's favorite courtship offering instead of the original quote.

    Need to remember that one "next time", too.

    Mikey (still laughing....)
  13. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Witz, selling his possesions is good life lesson for M. He is young and has the chance to have a decent life if he starts to learn from those life lessons. Unfortunately as my difficult child taught me so well, it takes repetition, repetition, repetition for our hard headed kids to get it.
    Maybe he will understand the basic "do to get" rules that govern the rest of society. Our kids are slow learners.

    Maybe a video game where they have to do to get food, gas, lodging will work with our kids.

    As far as teaching driving. I pass. I am way to nervous to be a passenger as it is let alone with my spacey difficult child. He went to driving school. It was worth every penney. husband did the practice. It's just not one of my strengths.

    Having M be a young man of character who works, makes good choices and is respectful to his family is the long term goal. Hopefully having some parental contact with your husband will start the communications going in a positive, healthy way. Hopefully he will ask for directions and/or suggestions.

    We always have hope.
  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Baby steps, Fran, for him and for us. That M and his dad are talking and trying to cooperate is huge. It's too bad that no one wants to teach him to drive, or to let him practice in their car, but those are some of the consequences when you burn your bridges. It's something we may one day work up to, but no one I know is going to want him driving their car. He hasn't earned that from anyone yet.

    "Do to get"

    "Live and learn"


    Clothes for the interview was the freebie. From now on, it's "do to get" with me.