My in-laws have 5 grandkids; husband's son(7 years, lives with ex wife), our difficult child and easy child(almost 4 years old, 13 months old), and his sister's daughter(3 years) and new baby(6 months). We've seen the show of favoritism since difficult child was born, husband's son always got spoiled rotten during holidays and difficult child has never gotten more than a toy from the drugstore... ever. I had some pretty nasty problems with the in-laws while husband was deployed but was surprised when husband's sister actually bought my girls some pretty cute toys. She has only gotten things for difficult child twice but I've made sure to get her daughter something for every birthday and holiday. My real problem is with husband's parents though. Saturday was husband's niece's 3rd birthday party. We went, against my will and when it was time to open gifts, difficult child was sitting in her uncle's lap and watching with a terrible look on her face as her cousin opened huge, expensive toys from the family. I knew she was starting to see a difference at Christmas while husband was gone but now I know she really sees it. husband has noticed it but this time it was so blatant that he walked right out the back door, plopped down into a chair and hung his head. I of course hung around to witness difficult child's pained expression. Directly after that, she found me and asked if we could go home now. I'm fed up. My mother in law insisted she take easy child shopping for her 1st birthday present and showed up with my sis in law and her two kids. difficult child watched as she bought easy child some shoes on sale, crazy expensive shoes for sis in law's new baby, and anything and everything sis in law's daughter pointed to. I watched difficult child as she became more and more withdrawn. I noticed a huge difference on Saturday because she didn't run to my mother in law, just walked over and said hello. I know that difficult child is only 3, almost 4 but it's obvious she sees the difference in treatment. I work hard to teach her that it isn't material items that matter but a kid is still going to see a huge difference in how they are treated. I really want to say something to husband's family but what? How would you deal with this? Any time husband tried to talk to them about how they treated me while he was deployed(who other can of worms), they acted clueless and innocent. husband is all for saying something but what do we say? Aside from never going over there, I don't see ignoring the problem as a solution.