Jena, do you have the info about forcing her to sit there until she eats from difficult child or from the staff? If the staff is doing this, they should be able to give you a reason WHY. It is a therapeutic place treating eating disorders, so they should be able to say why they are forcing her to sit there. It may be that difficult child is telling you stuff to upset you, or exaggerating what they are doing.
BEFORE you get upset about what they are doing with difficult child, be sure you find out what is going on from the staff. It is VERY common for kids to tell parents that the hospital staff made them do something outrageous or awful, just so parents will get mad and take them out of the hospital. Wiz told us that one of the interns watched him shower and wouldn't let him out of the shower for an hour and a half. In reality he was showering with swim trunks on because he kept telling them he had washed when he hadn't. The man was a trained therapist, with an intern there so that nothing wrong was happening, and he was showing Wiz that he could NOT get away with getting the top of his hair wet and his toothbrush wet instead of actually showering and brushing his teeth. It took 4 hours for him to actually do all the steps in a shower. He went in, did 1 or 2, came out and dried off. Was told to go back in and do it all again, over and over until he did it all during the same shower. The next day it only took 2 hrs, and only 1 after that.
As for insurance, that bites. I hope it works out - each time they refuse, ask for an appeal (fax paperwork if you need to) and ask for someone higher than the person/group who denied it. LOTS of insurance companies are denying things the first 2 or 3 times they are submitted now. Resubmit, appeal, do whatever you need to do.
Why would eating disorders be treated differently from other mental illnesses?