T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
I had an experience last night that I have been thinking about... I play cards with a group of people. Some of the people know what is going on with difficult child... and in general I am a very open person and probably tend to say too much. There is an older couple there (the man is in his 80s) and I have not shared much with them. They both have kids from previous marriages. I have heard about how wonderful her kids and grandkids are. He doesnt talk much about his but then often men don't. Anyway I have not really felt comfortable sharing with them but I don't hide much either.
So I was playing cards and one of the other people there always asks about difficult child. So I told her he was in treatment again and I was happy about that. The man asked me what was going on so I told him. And he was like and you tell people? But aren't you ashamed? The other woman who I had told kind of jumped in and said no she has done everything she can and has totally been there for him etc. I said something like I have nothing to be ashamed of, this is his doing not mine. Well then the man looked at me and said we should talk... turns out his son is an alcoholic, he has been through it, and although his son is sort of doing ok now his kids are now a mess. This is obvioiusly very painful... and of course he lives with someone whose kids are doing just great.
It just struck me how many people are affected by this issue... and how hard it is to talk about it... and how by keeping it inside you think you are alone.... anyway i was kind of glad of my big mouth because it may have helped someone else.
TL
I had an experience last night that I have been thinking about... I play cards with a group of people. Some of the people know what is going on with difficult child... and in general I am a very open person and probably tend to say too much. There is an older couple there (the man is in his 80s) and I have not shared much with them. They both have kids from previous marriages. I have heard about how wonderful her kids and grandkids are. He doesnt talk much about his but then often men don't. Anyway I have not really felt comfortable sharing with them but I don't hide much either.
So I was playing cards and one of the other people there always asks about difficult child. So I told her he was in treatment again and I was happy about that. The man asked me what was going on so I told him. And he was like and you tell people? But aren't you ashamed? The other woman who I had told kind of jumped in and said no she has done everything she can and has totally been there for him etc. I said something like I have nothing to be ashamed of, this is his doing not mine. Well then the man looked at me and said we should talk... turns out his son is an alcoholic, he has been through it, and although his son is sort of doing ok now his kids are now a mess. This is obvioiusly very painful... and of course he lives with someone whose kids are doing just great.
It just struck me how many people are affected by this issue... and how hard it is to talk about it... and how by keeping it inside you think you are alone.... anyway i was kind of glad of my big mouth because it may have helped someone else.
TL