interesting night

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    So, the melatonin and kava kava mix didn't work last night for difficult child.........

    She went down, took a while after reading time, yet I was happy. Than at 1 a.m. it began she was wired beyond compare. Came in my room to wake me, which is what she does when she can't sleep. Asking me what can she do she can't sleep, she's not tired at all, etc.

    Needless to say it was a rough night. Trigger; High School Musical 3, believe it or not!! When I say High School Musical, well one of her two friends, and the Mom are going to join us tonight to go to the movies. So, difficult child was soo soo excited. I usually make it a point, I am learning not to make any type of plans infront of her, yet unfortunately other ppl do not understand how I have to run things, so the parent spoke openly infront of difficult child yesterday after school regarding it.

    Needless to say it flew her into some sort of state of mania again, which I haven't seen as of late with the herbal bedtime stuff. It was a shame to see that again, I have to be honest. I was beginning to feel as though I had some control over it at this point. She was also very nasty and rough this morning with me with her mouth. Would be mean and nasty to me than the next minute express her love to me.


    Add in the fact that yesterday after theatre practice for the play she's in, upon leaving room with other kids the instructor came out and spoke to difficult child infront of the other kids.

    ugh bad bad, once again ppl don't get it. He told her how she needs to practice this weekend screaming her lines, how he cannot hear her at all, how the theatre that the show will be in is huge, etc. So, difficult child was incredibly disheartened, and embarrassed that he decided to speak with her infront of the other kids. I managed to difuse somewhat by simply stating that her and I would work on it over the weekend together and we would find her voice somehow. I knew this would happen, I took a shot at this program for her, I did. She has done well with the dancing part of it, yet that anxiety and her being so self conscious is what stops her from truly speaking up and out. Fact that she's in the class to begin with is huge to me.


    So, at bedtime all the stuff came out. Her fears about the upcoming show in January, her fears about recess again, her excitement about the movie.

    I felt bad, I dropped her at school this a.m. (she goes in the front door refuses again to go in the regular side door) , and she began to walk down the hallway than stopped and walked back to me and said how she didn't feel well, etc. So, I did my ususal a.m. pep talk told her it's Friday and she'll have a great day, etc.

    So, i'm sure she'll be happy at pick up time she usually is. Also the movie tonight is exciting for her as well. Just sad to see that state again, the non sleep, the effects of the instructor on her.

    ok i'm done venting.

    thanks! :)
  2. Pookybear66

    Pookybear66 New Member

    Jennifer-Just wanted to offer hugs and say that I hope things go well tonight. I hope she can get back on track after the movie and the wkend. when is the play going to be? Can she practice at the hall by herself with just you there to get a feel for it? Then maybe add family and friends to the mix to get her used to "voicing" the lines?
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I hope she can enjoy the movie. It is hard when our kids get so excited about something that they are too excited to really participate. I hope tonight goes better for her sleep wise.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aw, Jen, that is so hard.

    So sorry about the drama teacher. Arg.
    I can see standing at the end of the room, saying, "Come on, difficult child, shout to me back here!" in a happy voice, but it sounds more like she pretty much lectured difficult child. Just because teachers are called "teachers" doesn't mean than can really teach ...

    I remember being so excited about going to the state fair when I was a kid, I couldn't sleep the night b4. Ditto with-camp.

    Of course, I would never, ever have awakened my parents to tell them that. Sigh.

    Your difficult child clearly has anxiety and will have to learn how to cope with-her heightened arousal when she gets excited about things. I'd come up with-a plan (forgive me if you've already done this) to go through some kind of routine, in addition to the herbal remedies the next time this happens--and it will--because people never, ever "get it" when it comes to our kids.

    (However, even at the age of 9 that mom could have been a bit more discreet. My friends and I all have arrangements never to tell our kids our plans until the same day, for that exact reason.)

    At any rate, I'd address it earlier rather than later, so it doesn't affect bedtime as much. Discuss the issue/plan with-your daughter right away (after the indiscretion :) ) and let her express how excited she is, even have her draw a picture of it, and then maybe do something physical that will tire her out--run around the house 15 X, something like that. Then have a cooling off period afterward, where she physically calms down, and something mental where she can send her thoughts in another direction--thinking about how soft her bed is, how cuddly her stuffed animals are, how sleepy she is.
    If she gets all squirmy and says she can't help but think about the event, bring her back to the present and remind her that it's time to sleep, and that she will NOT awaken you if she cannot sleep. If it's really bad, she can read or draw, but she can only do it by the light of her closet or nightlight (that will help keep her sleepy--no bright lights in the middle of the night!).

    Too bad she's too old to make up stories like when she was younger. For ex., when my son was too excited to go to bed one night b4 Easter, at about 10:30, exhausted, we finally told him that the Easter bunny started his rounds at midnight and we didn't know which house he'd go to first. If he came to our house first and difficult child was still awake, he'd skip the house.
    I have never, ever seen a kid go to sleep so fast in my life! :)
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Pookybear - ok, that's a very cute name :) thanks for the support. As far as the theatre is concerned I never thought of that, thanks I will look into it. Maybe if she sees it and gets a feel for it, it won't be as scary. :)

    Andy - hi, yes she gets so so geared up, wow! We did the movie, and she totally enjoyed it. It was so cute to watch her laughing at the "mushy" parts of it. Odd thing was this other Mom I do not know that well we have had several Park play dates and stuff. Yet she is so anxiety ridden herself. She actually made me nervous. She was already talking about what the game plan would be once we got the tickets, etc. I was like ummm ok :) We get into the theatre and she's like oh what do we do now that we got the seats?? I said ok why don't you sit and relax and i'll take the girls to the snack thingy. She was totally frazzled and on edge. Her daughter also has anxiety, difficult child met her last year in the anxiety class. She almost set my anxiety off lol. I'm very calm in those types of situations, alot of kids, crowds, etc. i make it a point to be totally laid back otherwise difficult child picks up on me and she kicks up. Anyway, overall she was happy which is the most important thing.

    Terry - hi, so i was thinking about you. How was your oral surgery? Yes she does get very excited about stuff. The doctor's always attributed that to the bipolar. That she could fly into manic state if any stimuli affected her. Who knows, i'm kind of at a point where I'm anxious to start therapy with her next week with the new woman.

    That was a really good idea about drawing a picture of how excited she feels. I never thought of that. She has drawn pictures to just try to burn off the energy. She gets very focused when she is like that. Yet when it's the middle of the night I can't allow her to do that. I feel that if i do it will become a "habit". So, she'll wake up to draw. She's actually done that a few times before. I have tried the physical activity thing, the park is across the road from where we live. Odd thing is when I stimulate her and try to "ware her out" with physical activity it revs her up even more.

    I don't know this mom very well. So, I tried nicely to stay that next time if we could just talk on our own and surprise the kids with plans that already set in stone and the day of. I remember one time I took her to a fair here in town. She got her face painted and was up for two nights in a row because she was so excited that she had a sunset on her face......... :)

    thanks guys!!
  6. Pookybear66

    Pookybear66 New Member

    Glad I could offer something potentially helpful Jennifer! I hope your daughter can work this all out at some point.