Irritated with an old friend

[Mamaof5]

I'm starting to wonder about people. I'm irritated with a "friend" who keeps crapping on my life in many ways...

She doesn't have it easy, in fact she has much less than we do and takes it out on me on my FB statuses. I'm starting to wonder if she's jealous or something...I'm about to consider buying the house I just moved into:

http://www.remax-elliotlake-on.com/detail.php?listing='2856'

It's only 45,000. She always reminding me very bluntly about the pit of a slumlord place we both used to live in in the city (aka "Ardglen"). Yes, it was a pit and owned by a slumlord but it functioned as a roof over our heads for 5 yrs.

Elliot Lake is nothing like the city, mind you we do have our slums areas like Spruce Townhouses (where I moved from recently, major slumlord) and Hutchinson as well as Mississauga Ave town homes. Tokyo townhouses are all private owned and well maintained. If not rented out, the owner lives there.

Lots of great families, kids and quiet neighborhood. She lives on a run down, defunct ranch. Also doesn't have all her kids either (one of the boys lives with the father). She's driving me crazy with her ignorant comments and she's extremely sensitive if you answer back in less than a "yes ma'am" tone.

What the heck does one do with a supposed "friend" who is jealous and annoyingly open about that green envy attack they are having (to the point of annoying the heck out of not only you but everyone else on your FB friend list)?

GRRRR....my motto is "if you don't have anything nice to say to someone then don't say it at all" (of course within reason, sometimes you have to say something but with diplomacy).

 

[AnnieO]

Defriend.

She's not your friend. If she was once, she isn't now.

If this isn't a real option, you can of course speak to her. Or... block her posts?

 

[KTMom91]

What Step said.

 

[nvts]

or...you could kill her with kindness with something like "oh, you are tooooo funny! I'm glad my other FB friends understand that you're joking rather than jealous! lol"

See, your motto is very similar to mine, but I think I've gotten a little more nasty . My motto is: "if you can't say something nice, then just SHUT UP!!" Certainly not nice, but it serves a purpose! hahaha!

Beth

 

[Mattsmom277]

Argh! Friends like that ... who needs em? Having said that, is she someone you see in your regular travels or do you share mutual good friends (not gossipy old neighbors, REAL friends)? If she isn't, I totally say defriend. Yet, I know Elliot Lake. I know its small and if the circles you run into merge, who needs the drama right?

I guess I'd then do the kill her with kindness thing, smile and nod as well. Both great tactics! I'd also decrease contact over time and minimize the friendship. Excuses ya know? Was too busy to call back. Was too busy to chime in her fb status's. And so on. Ultimately friends like this are never cheering in the good times. Something tells me she's probably like a FORMER friend of mine who was very supportive in my low periods, thriving on my miseries sort of. yet in good times the claws came out even though she'd try to disguise how awful she was really being. I slowly "drifted apart". Until she just didn't call. And when I ran into her eventually in a grocery store, I was friendly and asked after her son etc. And she mentioned we never talk anymore and I just said well I'm so glad to see you and you look so well! It gets hard as parents with spouses and so much going on in our lives to maintain close friendships but I hope we can run into each other like this again soon. And then exit stage right!!!!!

 

[Shari]

if she's someone you really care to maintain the relationship, take if offline and talk to her. and hope she cares enough to change (envy is a natural feeling, after all...its what one DOES wuth that feeling that makes or breaks them)

otherwise, what the others said

 

[Mamaof5]

She and I live in different towns (Newmarket for her, EL for me). She used to come over every day when we both lived on the infamous "ardglen" slums and it was her boys that would tear my house apart and she'd expect me to discipline them. Drove me batty for 5 yrs straight, stop talking for the last 2 years before I moved to EL then out of the blue she friended me on FB.

Honestly, she overstayed her welcome many moons ago...many many moons ago. Normally, she doesn't comment much on FB but when she does you can tell she's not happy in life or where she's at in life and literally seems to enjoy company in her misery (ie: crapping on other people's good fortune by being the pessimist of every situation). I guess I've already done what matts said in many ways just frustrated because she starts it then others (family not friends, like my mom for instances) grab onto her pessimism then add their own to the mix. I don't know if it's just I'm being a big "B" or something or just irritable...I'm probably just being irritable.

I won't defriend her but maybe I should limit her access to my FB by blocking my statuses? I had to remove my sister in law and father in law two years ago for being "idiots" and making similar snide arrogant remarks too. I'm just really tired of that computer screen making people think they can say whatever it is they want to say, however they say it because they can hide behind that wall of computer screen and internet know what I mean?

Maybe I'm the one being pessimistic now... *sigh*

 

[Star*]

Well.........as for me and my house? I think from what I read you have tried being nice. That did not work. You feel you have been over the moon ALREADY - and that did not work. I wouldn't put ANYTHING on FB - things in writing have a tendency to loose their true meaning because it can sound like YOU are lashing out. Know what I mean??

I would take it up with her off line - and set her straight. Not kidding. I would say - Look - the days of ardglen are long gone, and some things need to stay gone. So I'm not sure what it is you are hoping for in a friendship here, but if you are hoping to rekindle any kind of friendship with me? You aren't going to have one anytime soon with snide comments and snippy one liners, peppered with hints of jealousy, and if that isn't what your comments mean - then enlighten me, because the feed back I've been getting from MY friends all point to snippy, jealous and snide. Perhaps too much time has passed for us to rekindle a friendship, and that's okay too. We can be acquaintances - nothing wrong with that. We've had our time and that time is gone. We're different people and have different lives and that's okay. We don't need permission to not be buddies.

Or however you word it - and if that's too much wording -

P*@# off usually gets the point across - but I'm in a really really bad mood today - so take that with a grain of salt.

 

[Hound dog]

I lean toward Star's response. You've been nice. She's already worn out her welcome ages ago. What do you get out of having her as a friend on fb? If it's all neg comments.....time to defriend and forget about it. A real friend takes pleasure in another friend's accomplishments and shares their joy. They don't get petty and try to rain on the parade.

 

[TerryJ2]

Just adding my 2 cents worth, which is the same as every else's. Best of luck.