Loving Abbey 2
Not really a Newbie
The psychiatrist and SW at the psychiatric hospital say that I help difficult child to much...specifically that all of the structure and support that has been built into difficult child's life at home and at school has resulted in her having limited coping skills.
Now, while this is happening, I can hear difficult child in the "quiet" room screaming. So I was very upset and was not exactly as nice as I could be. But I felt like they had not idea of how far we have come. Aside from the recent weeks, difficult child had been doing okay on my system of flexible structure with choices, empathy, and clear rules and expectations. It's just the way I live, it's not like I say "boy I'm so tired from providing her with structure". It makes my life so much easier. They do not see that. Theyjust say that it couldn't have worked too much since she is there and minimize the effects of the medication change. It's very frustrating. And I know neither of them have children, because when I asked I got the "well what difference does it make if we have children?" and they never answered the question.
I know that with all this support I have provided to difficult child, she has been able to have as much "normalcy" as possible. I know that she feels loved, cared for, and understood. I know that she has the secure base of acceptance that she needs to be able to feel safe in the world and try new things with some confidence.
I am, however, wondering if it is possible that my providing lots of support to difficult child has left her with minimal coping skills.
Honesty please....
Now, while this is happening, I can hear difficult child in the "quiet" room screaming. So I was very upset and was not exactly as nice as I could be. But I felt like they had not idea of how far we have come. Aside from the recent weeks, difficult child had been doing okay on my system of flexible structure with choices, empathy, and clear rules and expectations. It's just the way I live, it's not like I say "boy I'm so tired from providing her with structure". It makes my life so much easier. They do not see that. Theyjust say that it couldn't have worked too much since she is there and minimize the effects of the medication change. It's very frustrating. And I know neither of them have children, because when I asked I got the "well what difference does it make if we have children?" and they never answered the question.
I know that with all this support I have provided to difficult child, she has been able to have as much "normalcy" as possible. I know that she feels loved, cared for, and understood. I know that she has the secure base of acceptance that she needs to be able to feel safe in the world and try new things with some confidence.
I am, however, wondering if it is possible that my providing lots of support to difficult child has left her with minimal coping skills.
Honesty please....