I am new to this forum, as of yesterday, and I have already derived some comfort from what I am reading.
My story is this: my difficult child daughter is hitting rock bottom, personally, financially and emotionally. She has always been the outsider, the loner, since middle school. At least that is how it appeared from my point of view. She had friends, but she wasn't one to invite them over nor did she go to their homes. But I digress.
She left home under unpleasant circumstances and was out of touch for about 7 years. She came back home, lived with me for a couple of years, got a license in cosmetology. She was unable to keep a job in the field and ended up telemarketing for a shady firm. That place closed about a year and a half ago and she spent a year on unemployment. That ended in January. She has been living with a boyfriend so I have not had too much to worry about, except that I wish she was living a 'better' life.
Now the boyfriend is leaving and that means she will have no one to support her. I have contributed $ and paid bills on and off but I have not been a substantial financial support. With his departure, she is in real trouble. My problem is that she seems unwilling to look for work and that has been true for quite awhile. She appears to do nothing all day long and refuses to take suggestions.
It should be said that she has lived on the streets before, some time spent in New Orleans and California. She has told tales of soup kitchens, having nowhere to live and nowhere to go. She recently agreed to seek help and is on Prozac. She also recently admitted to cutting, albeit rarely. Her self esteem is at an all time low, I think. She will not have a dialogue with me about her future and she avoids my questions at all costs. Her default reaction to people in general is "they are stupid" and to my questions "I don't know." A relative has said this about her: her goal in life is not to be bothered.
So as you can see, she is not stealing, not in jail, not hurting me in any physical way. It is the mental toll of "how much do I help, do I just rent her an apartment, what is my role?" She does not drive, does not have any friends, she cannot afford a phone and will soon be all alone once the boyfriend moves out. She has applied for welfare and food stamps. I feel so sorry for her, how her life has turned out. I try to help, scouring the want ads and sending her the links to apply. I take her grocery shopping and ask if she needs anything. Her answer is always "I'm fine" and then I look in her kitchen and there is no food at all.
I hesitated to write because my story seems so much calmer than most I've read here on this forum. But writing it down has helped immensely.
My story is this: my difficult child daughter is hitting rock bottom, personally, financially and emotionally. She has always been the outsider, the loner, since middle school. At least that is how it appeared from my point of view. She had friends, but she wasn't one to invite them over nor did she go to their homes. But I digress.
She left home under unpleasant circumstances and was out of touch for about 7 years. She came back home, lived with me for a couple of years, got a license in cosmetology. She was unable to keep a job in the field and ended up telemarketing for a shady firm. That place closed about a year and a half ago and she spent a year on unemployment. That ended in January. She has been living with a boyfriend so I have not had too much to worry about, except that I wish she was living a 'better' life.
Now the boyfriend is leaving and that means she will have no one to support her. I have contributed $ and paid bills on and off but I have not been a substantial financial support. With his departure, she is in real trouble. My problem is that she seems unwilling to look for work and that has been true for quite awhile. She appears to do nothing all day long and refuses to take suggestions.
It should be said that she has lived on the streets before, some time spent in New Orleans and California. She has told tales of soup kitchens, having nowhere to live and nowhere to go. She recently agreed to seek help and is on Prozac. She also recently admitted to cutting, albeit rarely. Her self esteem is at an all time low, I think. She will not have a dialogue with me about her future and she avoids my questions at all costs. Her default reaction to people in general is "they are stupid" and to my questions "I don't know." A relative has said this about her: her goal in life is not to be bothered.
So as you can see, she is not stealing, not in jail, not hurting me in any physical way. It is the mental toll of "how much do I help, do I just rent her an apartment, what is my role?" She does not drive, does not have any friends, she cannot afford a phone and will soon be all alone once the boyfriend moves out. She has applied for welfare and food stamps. I feel so sorry for her, how her life has turned out. I try to help, scouring the want ads and sending her the links to apply. I take her grocery shopping and ask if she needs anything. Her answer is always "I'm fine" and then I look in her kitchen and there is no food at all.
I hesitated to write because my story seems so much calmer than most I've read here on this forum. But writing it down has helped immensely.