Isn't it time for these kids to go back to school?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Dec 26, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    They've been off school a week now, and the effects of the looser structure is showing. Too much TV, too much video games, too many late nights, too much holiday food, and now too much of eachother's company. They're getting on MY nerves now, too!

    I think tomorrow we will place a moratorium on all electronics, load the bikes in the van, pray it starts and head down to the park for some fresh air and sunshine.

    I'm tired of husband laying around watching House marathons and me picking up everyone else's dishes. Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean the maid comes to our house.

    I'm tired of the difficult child-ness coming out in a big way, the bickering, the pestering. difficult child 2 was very prone to loud angry outbursts today. difficult child 1 only took Focalin in the morning and forgot his patch, so he was just delightful this afernoon (not!). I was ready to throttle him by 5:00, and eventually gave him another dose of the Focalin.

    easy child and I tried to watch a movie around 7:00, but the boys were just being PITA's, so I sent them upstairs to annoy husband. He did manage to get them to shower and then they all watched House until 11pm. I just finally got them medicated and to bed. Although difficult child 2 is wanting to sleep on the couch again.

    Tomorrow, that's it! Everyone is going out... Out... OUT!!! Or else I'm running away!


    P.S. I did take my mom to see "Yes Man" today -- so that was a nice treat. Funny movie -- inappropriate for anyone under 17 in my opinion despite the PG-13 rating.
     
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We have been having difficulties with difficult child 3 and all the time we're spending with mother in law and sister in law. Honestly - I'm sometimes finding it a strain, and I'm not autistic.

    Example: dinner last night. difficult child 3 already stressed and wanting to be anywhere else but with us.
    mother in law: difficult child 3, would you like a bread roll?

    difficult child 3: (mouth full, signals, no thanks).

    (mother in law proffers basket of bread rolls more vigorously in difficult child 3's direction).

    difficult child 3: (hastily swallowing) No thanks, Grandma.

    [later in meal]

    mother in law: difficult child 3, have a bread roll. Go on. There are plenty.

    difficult child 3: No thanks, Grandma. I said before, I don't want one.

    mother in law: You didn't say before, this is the first time I've offered you one. Don't be rude. I'm just being polite offering you food. You do have to eat, you know. Go on, have a bread roll.

    difficult child 3: Grandma, I've already said twice that I don't want one.

    mother in law: (getting huffy) You shouldn't talk to me that way, I'm only offering you food. This is MY house, I'll have manners in my house, thank you.


    OK, it's maybe no big deal, but when difficult child 3 finally blows his stack it IS a big deal.

    What we're getting, over and over, constantly, is the same inconsistency, repetition, indecision, you-name-it, in duplicate (mother in law & sister in law both). OK, sister in law is having a much-needed holiday and I don't begrudge it at all, but I need my breaks from it too. As I observe the pair of them, it seems to me that they're amplifying each other, it escalates between them (mother in law & sister in law) and the end result is difficult child 3 getting inconsistent, mixed messages and feeling VERY confused.
    Yesterday he asked if he could have some orange juice. I said, "I'm not getting it for you."
    SILjumped in quickly and said, "At least he asked permission, that was good manners."
    mother in law said, "He doesn't have to ask permission, but he DOES have to get it for himself and not expect other people to wait on him. Yes, difficult child 3, you can have some. Help yourself."
    I got him a glass. difficult child 3 got the juice and filled his glass.
    About an hour later, he got himself another glass of orange juice. His cousins had been drinking a lot of it also, the bottle was getting low.
    mother in law said, "Hang on, that's the second glass of juice. You should have asked my permission. It s MY juice, you know."

    with all of this over and over, it's no wonder that by dinner time, difficult child 3 was almost in meltdown mode. To his credit he took it outside, but wanted to 'discuss' things with me. It wasn't easy, because mother in law was calling to me to talk to me about something or other to do with dinner, and I HAD to answer immediately. I still wasn't fast enough and she came looking for me, to find me and difficult child 3 "having words". difficult child 3 began to get a lecture on respecting his mother, which I forestalled quickly.

    Under normal conditions she wouldn't say anything like this nor would she interfere, but with sister in law & her girls around, mother in law is stressed and snapping back to what I privately call "difficult" mode. She wants her daughter to have a rest (which she desperately needs) and also wants everyone to get on well. As a result, she's getting anxious that difficult child 3 doesn't go into meltdown, but in urging him to behave and control himself, added to a lot more stress from more people putting in their oar, difficult child 3 is really not coping too well.

    I can't blame any one person, least of all difficult child 3. This is always a difficult time for a difficult child of ANY age. And holiday gatherings provide ample opportunity to study the heredity of the GFGness in the family. Just don't say it out loud, around the family members you're speculating about!

    Marg
     
  3. Rotsne

    Rotsne Banned

    It is not the time to go back to school, but it IS the time for a little hike around our city so we all can get some of the extra pounds from the Christmas food off.

    We do it as family unit and because we all risk getting a halo over our heads due to our healthy choice of activity, we drop by the pizza pusher on the way home so we have a reason for leaving the house again tomorrow. No mobiles or an hour or two. Peace for us, maybe symptoms for the children, but peace for us.

    There are so much in our local community we miss everyday because we travel around in our cars. When we walk we have the chance actually to stop and study it.
     
  4. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    What a great post!

    I know exactly what you mean even though mine are older. Cabin fever is setting in though school is only out since 23rd. College boys around longer.
    There is no pattern to getting up and THOSE DISHES? Am I the maid?
    Couldnt they have a bit of cop on and lift them to the dishwasher!

    My difficult child is bored silly. The others are well able to meet up with pals but hes more isolated.

    I am glad its all drawing to an end for another year.


    Hope to get out like yourself today or even the idea of running away on my own is even more attractive!
     
  5. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness, husband and I were discussing this very thing in bed this morning. (We get up at 4:00 AM so we can "visit" without all the interruptions.) difficult child is acting absolutely horrid, and I can hardly stand it. His frustrations are severe. First his new drum pedal was broken (NOT!), then he couldn't put the shoe strings in his new shoes like all the other kids do, then he thought he'd lost his new ring that he had really put into his pocket.....it just goes on. He was stomping and crying, etc. Talking softly can sometimes bring him out of it, but by the end of the day it was ME who was frustrated!! I told husband in bed this morning when we were talking about the lack of structure right now that unfortunately this is part of life and every single day isn't going to be the same. I just don't know how to make it easier on him....and consequenty those around him. I can see his only friend backing away as he matures and difficult child doesn't.
     
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If I could figure out a way to send the kids back to school and husband and I could stay home I'd be all for it! However, it's also husband's and my break so I'm not quite ready yet, I need to do a ton of relaxing before heading back!
     
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    This is brilliant. We're feeling the effects too. The sun is out and it should be above freezing: time for a bike/hike outing.
     
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    PS I just announced the manster that we would be biking today and he had a (thankfully short) fit about it "no, no, tomorrow"... this marathon of eating junk and electronics has done enough damage and it's time to get back to "normal" (for us).
     
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Marg, your uncannily astute observations on human behavior never cease to amaze me! I'd love to have you come here and be a fly on the wall when husband's family is around to help me figure out the insanity sometime :D

    When people are stressed and anxious, it's very easy for them to be contradictory. Your mother in law sounds a lot like my mother in law and how she treats people, especially difficult child's. It makes for very confusing and frustrating interactions.

    Rotsne & Lizzie, I'm glad the winter weather there is nice enough for you to go out today :D

    Wakeupcall, it's definitely a sign of too much (fill in the blank) when people in my house (difficult child's or otherwise) start to fall apart over minor things. Maybe some exercise would help your difficult child's ability to cope through all this! If he doesn't want to do something fun, you could assign him a chore that involves a little sweat, Know what I mean??

    Wiped Out, I vote for sending husband and the kids out for a walk (weather permitting) while you take a bubble bath and a nap!

    ML, I'm sure Manster will ultimately feel better once he gets going outside, despite his loud protests now. :D I just told easy child no Gameboy or TV today, and she immediately started moaning (big suprise).
     
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I agree that it's time for the kids to go back to school...and Miss KT isn't even living here! She was here Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday morning, we were at my mom's with her on Thursday, she showed up Friday morning to look for something on the computer, and appeared this morning before we even got up. She wanted money to pick up her medications, but told Hubby she didn't know how much they were, wanted me to write her a check, and took off angry because he wanted to know how much, and she wouldn't tell him.
     
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hmmmm... Mary, maybe she just figured you'd give her a BLANK check?! Perhaps she'll figure out how to call the pharmacy to find out the total, if that's in fact what she really wanted the money for ;)
     
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