It started at 5:00 AM!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wakeupcall, Feb 23, 2007.

  1. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Yep, husband and I were at odds at 5:00 AM. This afternoon is our ARD meeting at difficult child's school. It was rescheduled from three weeks ago because I walked out of that ARD meeting and husband refused to sign the IEP. husband is on the defensive and it started before daylight. I say, let's get difficult child moved to another elementary that has social development classes immediately; they are doing nothing but mistreating him where he is now. husband thinks I'm being complacent about the way they have treated him in the past; not letting him go on field trips, now he has a para shadowing him all day, etc. I SAY, let's not let difficult child suffer because we disagree with his school. husband wants to blast the system and I say this is not the time or the place.

    IF I convince him to not bring up that crap today in the ARD meeting......will we ALL (mostly difficult child) suffer if he/we file a complaint with the Texas Education Agency in the near future? It seems he (difficult child) IS suffering (already) from husband's antics in the last meeting because he has a "shadow" since that meeting. The principal is maintaining difficult child is "dangerous". Now, mind you, he's never even been in a fistfight or any such thing. These have been incidents like kicking someone who was trying to trip him (who wouldn't?). Of course, difficult child is always the one in the wrong, never the one who may have instigated it (so says the school).

    Mostly venting here. Any opinions? I can't talk to anyone but you guys. husband doesn't get it, my grown daughter doesn't get it, I have no friend (except 6k of you members) to talk to. I just don't know where to go with this......
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I can understand you husband's frustration with the school. I can understand your concern that he is about to make the situation worse. Is it possible to convince husband to use the ARD meeting to get difficult child moved to a better placement and hold his tongue through the meeting? Then if he wants to file a complaint with the TEA afterwards, go for it as difficult child will no longer be under their thumb and their chance of retaliating is slim. Plus if difficult child does well at the next placement you'll have more 'proof' that it was them not him.

    Sorry today is going to be so tough,
  3. KateM

    KateM Member

    Hey, Pamela, sorry your day got off to a bad start. It's difficult when our DHs aren't on the same page with us.

    I think you have a good plan. This ARD should focus on moving forward, on getting your son into the new program, and airing of grievances. Then you could later make your complaint to the TEA.

    I hear you that you don't like your son having a shadow, but this probably wasn't done in "retaliation" to your husband's comments last mtg.A shadow is an expense that many parents have to fight for to get for their kids.

    Good luck today! I hope your son is moved to the new class soon!
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Sorry I am just now seeing this post. It's too late to offer an opinion here (but I agree with JJJ), but I was wondering what happened at the meeting. Please let us know.

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope the meeting went better than you were expecting. Sorry your day didn't start off well. :angel:
  6. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Well, the school and the school district personnel musta had the life scared out of them after the last ARD meeting. We could have asked for the moon and gotten it. I warned husband to behave and he promised he would, and he did. Since difficult child IS going to the new campus where they have social development classes (starts 3/2), we decided to load the IEP with everything we wanted and since it's not to be implemented at "their" school, they didn't care what we added....and the members in attendance from the school district KNOW we mean business, so they didn't put up a fight. They have also agreed to free transportation to the campus now and free social development classes (and transportation) in the summer school. We're also getting an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation (dysgraphia? Sensory issues?) that has been denied in the past. Amazing that all it took was for us to squawk to the school DISTRICT personnel to get these things accomplished. Isn't it sad that ya have to go over people's heads to get things done? Now the hard part will be to TELL difficult child that he's going to another school and wait for the fireworks. I don't look forward to this part. Overall, it'll be good to get him the help he needs and away from the school who has fingered him in everything that goes wrong in the school day.
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    what a relief! Sounds like you got everything you needed to help difficult child succeed at his new school. And I totally understand about telling him - it would be really tough on my difficult child too. I would probably talk it up, take him for a visit before he attends all day the first time, and perhpas a little bribe as well!!!

    Glad the meeting was not as frustrating as you imagined it would be.

  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There is a plan and it is in motion. I hope difficult child takes the news decently. Fingers crossed!