It's official....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, May 18, 2007.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    ...I've lost my mind. :hammer:

    At my doctor appointment yesterday, I found myself talking to the doctor about how long I should wait before trying to get pregnant. :surprise: It just slipped out. I hadn't planned on talking to her about that.

    But, yeah, I really do want another child. We're talking serious baby fever here. For a long time, too. Now, I haven't even been on a date in...well, I don't want to talk about how long it's been. Long time. So, my girlfriend asked me if I had a prospective father lined up. :slap: Well, gee...I forgot about that part. :rofl:

    But, seriously...I've got some soul searching to do.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Honey, I'm sorry to break the news to you but searching your soul won't get you a baby. Perhaps the doctor had a little chat with you about this...?

    I loved those baby/toddler/preschool years and could have just kept right on having babies. It was hard getting over the hurdle and realizing I was done with that phase of life.
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Like SRL, I adored the baby/toddler/preschool years and I loved being pregnant. I wanted to have another child after difficult child, but bonehead said no - in hindsight, with difficult child's issues, I think it was the right choice. But man, what I would give to hold one of my babies close to my body again!

    So, I totally understand. But we need to work on the man issue for you first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Okay, I'll be the token male response...

    [queues up deep voice, puffs out chest, stuff gut into tight pants, and takes a deep breath...]


    Just kidding.

    I would humbly and respectfully suggest, though, that you think about what's driving your "baby fever". My hope is that it is a normal desire for another child. But my little voice whispers to be careful about looking for something new and good in a baby.

    Your sig says you're single, and have two younger difficult child's at home. Having been one of two difficult child children in a family with a single mom, I KNOW it can't be easy for you - it sure wasn't for my dear mother.

    At 39, even when it was certain that her marriage was toast, and her two difficult child sons were destined to make nasty waves in the world, she decided to have another child with her estranged husband (my dad).

    Why? She couldn't answer the question, and I didn't even know until a year before she died that she'd tried again. I got the feeling that she was looking for something to tie her life back together, something that would fill in the holes left by my dad and her two out-of-control sons.

    Ultimately, it didn't happen (details not necessary). It was just me, my mom, and my bro from then on.

    I don't mean to be doom and gloom, but from the little I've read in your profile and some of your posts, it sure seems like you have your hands full. Are you certain of the real source of this desire? I can state from personal experience - both with myself and my kids - that your body and your brain can lie to you, ususally when you least expect it.

    Just be careful.

    [male ego switch - now set to OFF]

  5. CCRidr2

    CCRidr2 Sheena-Warrior Momma

    My suggestion?

    Get a hold of someone else's baby for a while. My great (yes, great) nieces and nephews are wonderful for this but friends babies will work for this exercise also.

    They cuddle and coo and smell great! :bath: But I DON'T have to take them home!!!

    I get to be the sweet, spoiling, gregarious Aunt Cyndi, then let Mom and Dad deal with the results of sugar/attention overload! :thumbsup:

    WHAT! I had to deal with it, now it's my turn to dole it out! :devil:

    Anywho, this usually curbs my baby FEVER, yup I get it still, for at least a few weeks.

    As my Dad said after his first grandchild: "If I'd have known grandkids would be so much fun, I'd of had them first!"
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I think you are lonely. you want something of your own to cuddle again. get a kitten or puppy.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ahhhhh babies!

    I agree with Cyndie. You arent that far out from being a grandma in reality. Grandbabies are great! All the fun and not as much

    Of course if you really want another baby, go for it but can you do it with your health problems? If not, the grands will be here soon enough.
  8. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Nope, I'm not lonely. My life is very full and fulfilling. There's always some things I would change, but overall I'm happy with my life. And I have plenty of things to cuddle - my kids, the dog and 3 cats. This really started when my son started high school. He's almost a junior now. And I've always told him that I do not want to be a grandmother before I'm 40. LOL He even repeated that to one of my friends the other day. Good kid. He listens to his mom. :rofl:

    Health wise I would need to wait at least a year. Which works because financially I'm not ready, either. There's just the whole man issue complicating things. I *really* like being single. I like men. Honest. I just like them a lot better when they don't live with me. (Sorry, Mikey. Don't mean to hurt that male ego. :wink: )

    I love being a mom. Somedays, difficult child makes me rethink that, but that's a normal part of parenting anyway. I love having children around.

    Anyway, whatever will be will be.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wellll...there is always borrowing a My kids are really cute but they tend to be difficult child's...lmao. Just kidding.

    Maybe you could order some sperm and pick the perfect donor.
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    what about becoming a foster parent??
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Mikey -

    by the way, I have to tell that I so appreciate your sense of humor. You make me laugh out loud.
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I married husband when I was 36. He had three easy child's and I had two PCs
    and GFGmom. A "wave" came over me where I started dreaming about
    babies. It was W E I R D 'cause all my three children were good
    old Catholic accidents (pre pill life was not pleasant, lol).

    Perhaps you have not actually taken control of the preparation for your next life phase. Repeating the familiar is appealing
    but 18 to 33 is suppose to be very different from 35 to 50. I
    would suggest exploring options for the middle phase of your life
    and perhaps you will get psyched planning a new venture.

    on the other hand...each of us chooses our own path and like the rest of the CD family, I'm here to support you with your choices. Hugs. DDD
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    DDD, you make a good point and I have thought about that and will continue to. I've wondered in the past what I would do with myself when my kids are grown. My life has been consumed by them and I can't imagine any other way to live.

    klmno - I've thought about fostering, too. In fact, that's been my plan for a lot of years - get difficult child stable and then look into fostering.
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I started out married life wanting at the very least a dozen children. I was serious and husband was willing. After 3 pregnancies and 2 live births kidney disease changed those plans. husband got clipped. I was devistated, but it was just too dangerous. A year later N entered the world. yep The vasectomy failed. And miraculously both N and I survived the high risk pregnancy. I didn't have husband clipped again, nor did I get my tubes tied. I'd decided nature would take it's course.

    Six pregnancies and 3 live births. Early 30's and menopause kicks in. (and not long after losing the last pregnancy) Poor husband was relieved and again I was devistated.

    I was a stay at home Mom from the moment I found out I was preg with easy child. I enjoyed every moment of my kids childhood and being a Mom. Once they were in high school and jr high the void hit. I floundered not knowing what to do with 3 kids who were no longer dependent on me. (and let's be honest, didn't even really want me around most of the time lol) I got baby fever BAD.

    Then stepgfg came to live with us with grand child #1 Kayla. Since she was a difficult child I wound up doing far more parenting Kayla than being just the grandma. And I discovered pretty quickly that I'd grown accustomed to my older kids and the freedom that meant for me. And honestly parenting a baby again was exhausting.

    After a few months any urge to have another child was gone forever. :rofl:

    It was then I remember that when I was a little girl I always wanted to grow up to be a GRANDMA. lmao

    As Nana I get all the wonderful fun I did with my kids when they were little and very little of the downside. It's fabulous. And glory be, I don't have to be the BAD GUY anymore. :smile:
  15. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I have had baby fever for the last year too. I know I don't want to raise another child by myself so I'm not doing it right now. I also like single parenting. Sometimes it is easier. What I say goes and everything is mine. No sharing. :flower:

    For some women a sperm bank may be the way to go if you really are serious about this.

    But, I'm with Janet. Get a puppy. :angel: