*It's quiet in here- what's everybody doing?*

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Suz, Mar 3, 2008.

  1. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Hey family-

    It's been relatively quiet in PE the last few weeks. Of course, in my home life I truly appreciate those quiet times. Years and years of gfgness has made me appreciate 10 minutes of calm, let alone days/weeks at a time.

    So what has everyone been doing? Anyone having FUN? Doing what? Are you dying for Spring to be here, like I am?

    Tell all. Inquiring minds want to know.

  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Ahhh, the blissful quiet.
    Suz, I can relate to enjoying minutes (or even seconds) of quiet. These last few weeks, I think I'm finally getting used to the idea that difficult child has a fully staffed wraparound team at his disposal and I don't have to jump fully into crisis mode every few hours.

    A couple weeks ago, husband surprised me by setting up a free ballroom dance class for me at a local dance studio. At the introductory class, I had so much fun that I signed up for the term. I have been learning to salsa, cha-cha and swing dance and I am having SUCH a good time.

    This is the first time in years that I have done something purely for myself, purely for enjoyment. I'm not taking classes to improve my skills at work, or to learn strategies for dealing with difficult child issues, or anything of the sort. This is just fun, pure and simple.

    The best thing about the dance classes...as the woman, I don't have to make any of the decisions. I just have to keep my feet moving and follow where I'm led. It is so delightful not to have to be the one in control for a change.

    And yes, I am DYING for spring to get here. As soon as the weather is warm enough to open up the windows, I am planning to paint the house. I am tired of living with husband's ex-W's colour scheme. Her taste runs to depressing colours and I'm looking forward to brightening the place up.

    Nothing particularly exciting, just simple pleasures that I'd lost sight of for years.

  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I'm so busy with Tink and my own mess of things. I have not seen Copper since Christmas. I miss her terribly!! We talk about once a week but I really miss seeing her.

    She will be TWENTY later this month. Which officially makes me old.
  4. peg2

    peg2 Member

    I am waiting for spring to come, but also unfortunately,waiting for the other shoe to drop. Son turns 18 soon and that might be when all hell breaks loose!!!
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Raoul and I had a blissful week at sea in the Caribbean. Well, Raoul, I, and about 3,000 other women. I had no idea that he was so tall! My friend took pictures of us with her camera, and I am waiting for her to return home and send some to me so that I can share. Oooh la la!

    And, of course, the seas wasn't very blissful either. We hit a very nasty patch Tuesday evening, and I watched an elderly gentleman nearly go overboard Wednesday on the tender boat reboarding the ship at Cozumel. The waves were about 8 - 12 feet, and the railings fell off the gangway as he was still on it, and just after four strong men dragged him back onto the ship, the gangway fell. He would have been squished between the vessels within moments for sure. So, my friend and I went upstairs to the bar and drank and watched the tender boats coming and going the rest of the day, and all of the white faced passengers coming through the lobby. The wind blew the ship to about 20 degrees off level for a day and a half, and the waves were so high we bounced and skidded and slammed around. But, I didn't get seasick because Raoul supplied me with ginger capsules to calm my stomach. Such a sweet young man! And, uh, Hubba hubba!

    I ate well, but didn't gain much weight. I can't say as much for what will happen with the key lime coconut chocolates that I brought home from the Ft. Lauderdale airport. YUM! How do you Floridians do it?

    husband and M spent some time together while I was gone. husband gave him a couple of hundred dollars so he could rent a room in a house, and helped him move. M helped husband install the new toilet. They went for dinner at the Olive Garden. M is excited about his job. It's something to do with main office order filling for the pharmacy of a large chain store here. Computer work, not boxes. But not mindnumbing work either. If he gets on permanent, they can train him to be a pharmacy tech, which is good work and good pay, but long hours standing. I don't think with his MD that he can do it, but it's his life.

    husband told him that he should consider this a trial relationship period, that he would never let M hurt me again like he did before. He also stood up for himself and told him that M hurt him too, put our marriage in jeopardy and he wouldn't tolerate it. For that matter, he told M that he wouldn't even consider letting him anywhere near me until he saw that there was sincerity in his actions, not just a job and a room that will last a week or a month. Fine with me, because honestly, my emotions are so closed down on this I have no desire to see him yet. It's going to take more. A lot more. I suppose that sounds awful, but it takes a lot to shut down your emotions for your child. You just don't get to turn them back on like a light switch. But it's a start, and I can't expect much more than a start at this point.

    husband's throat is feeling better, but still healing. It was so good to get home to him. Raoul may be just about the most handsome thing I have ever seen up close in real life, but husband is warm and soft and loves me. A girl can't ask for much more.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We are just hanging in there. We have the baby...uhhh toddler...every weekend like clockwork and sometimes more days are added in there. This week we have her all week too and everyone loves it! There is something about complete adoration from a grand child to really make your life complete.

    On all other fronts, things just continue. Cory has court 3 times this month...starting tomorrow the 4th. I just sit back and watch. Whatever will be will be. We are still struggling along waiting for Tony to get back to work after being on lay off for the past month. Doesnt help that he cant draw unemployment. His boss better get the crews back working asap or we will really be in a mess.

    But...we are all alive so that is good.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm winding down the winter quarter, so you can guess what that means. lol Writing the research paper for english. Ugh Studying chemistry, which isn't bad at all and I find I like it so far. And trying to keep up with the anatomy online class.

    Quiet??? It hasn't been quiet around here in so long I forgot what it sounds like. Chaos would be a better word. Too many people, too many animals while I'm trying to study and not be distracted. The patience I had at 20 went That A Way.... lol

    And I am sooooooooo ready for spring. And spring break.

    Witz, I'm jealous. I could so use a cruise right now. And I don't like ships or boats.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    How fun to wake up to all of your stories!

    Trinity, good for you for taking dance lessons! A couple of years ago I took ballet lessons and had a blast. I was the old timer in the class but it was a lot of fun...and an indulgence I hadn't done for myself...well... ever! Enjoy!

    ....uh............BBK.......you don't really expect any sympathy from me about your age, do you? You're just a kid! Remember, age is relative. What is old to you is a mere babe to some of the rest of us. :)

    Peg, no sense worrying about the future and losing the present. Try to enjoy the last few weeks of calm before the storm. Hopefully it won't be as bad as you think.

    Witz, I guess some girls have all the luck- a week with Raoul and a loving husband, too? WOW!

    Janet, thank goodness for toddlers. I've always said I was a sucker for toddlers and dogs. There's just something about both that helps the joy in our hearts surface.

    Lisa, another quarter down another quarter closer to graduation! You go, girl!!!

    Hugs to all,
  9. judi

    judi Active Member

    Whew - I haven't been here for awhile. difficult child has been on his own (again - lol) for almost 2 years now. He is working? Living with a friend? We call him once a week or so when he has minutes on his phone.

    His son (our grandson) is at our house a lot - have him and his sister (not our son's child) frequently overnight. Now for the Jerry Spinger part of this soap opera: difficult child's ex-girlfriend (mother of our grandson) has an older child (girl age 4 1/2 years) who we consider our grandchild, then our grandson, who is 14 months old and now she is due in June with a third child from a third man)!!! We want no involvement with this new child but am afraid that she might say you have to take them all in order to see our grandson.

    Would like to adopt grandson as we completely support him now. However, doubt that will happen.
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    The past couple of weeks have just zipped by. I've been busy with DR appts and blood letting (ugh), packing up easy child's room for her big move (and now worrying about her), holding on loosely to difficult child to see that she's moving along nicely, she's doing a shaky "okay", traveled to FL for business - only a day and I didn't see any Raouls there~sigh. I did get to feel the soft velvety sands of Clearwater Beach however.

    Things are generally quiet at our house all the time now. H and I are doing very well...I have to say that I am surprised. Without all the drama of difficult child on a constant basis, we are spending a lot of time reading at night and just chatting about things. With my recent worries about easy child's depression, I am forced to reach out to him, which is not so new, but to reach out ONLY to him is new for me. Usually, I reach out to a friend (and of course my family here), but my friend's are all wrapped in their own dramas. Anyway, H tends to downplay things when I express to him how worried I am or comes up with lame 60 second solutions. This morning I told him that it would nice if he didn't offer any solutions but instead just held me and listened. Wah wah wah...lol.

    I am DESPERATE for some signs of Spring. I actually trudged around in the 9" of snow in my yard the other day in search of a bud on any ONE of the trees. They are there, but closed up tight. Before we know it, we will see some signs of earthly delights I'm sure. I think I will buy myself some flowers today.

    Witz, you popped into my head this morning and I wondered how your trip went. I don't recall seeing a vaca report in watercooler. I'm glad you enjoyed it and had time to relax. I'm also glad that H shared with you his thoughts when you returned home. Heartwarming.

    Trinity, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if H would go with me for dance lessons. Maybe I can add that to my bucket list for this year.

    Have a good one all~
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I''m going to my first real day on the JOB.:peaceful: Yesterday was just paperwork...I think I signed my life away.

  12. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Congratulations, Abbey!

    I mean, not about signing your life away. About the job.
  13. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    This morning I made arrangements for difficult child to have a social worker come to her home weekly and help her. I gave details on what needs to be addressed. Everyone, even difficult child is looking foward to the help/possibilities. Now, I'm studying...I have a big test coming up. I'm working on a Master's Degree...it's been very exciting...but much work. (I take a break now and then to check my messages, etc.)
  14. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Well I have been working a lot, checking in here when I can. difficult child has been at his job for over a month now and really seems to like it. He even gets up at 4:20am to get there on time when he opens. :) No real problems (Oh please board jinx stay away from the Coookie house :tongue:) other than a few of his female friends calling at 2 in the morning. :furious: I swear these people don't need sleep!!!!!!!!!!!! :faint: Going to be blocking some numbers if it continues..

    husband and I are doing well, we are taking the rest of today and tomorrow to go and spend time together. difficult child has to work. :)

    Working on the detachment and letting go daily. I have sure learned a lot from you all and I am sooooo grateful. :)

  15. MrsMcNear46

    MrsMcNear46 New Member

    I returned yesterday from Chicago where I spent the weekend with Sweet Betsy and even Sweeter Lincoln. Betsy doing well. Taking a full load of online college classes, taking great care of Lincoln, and getting along pretty well with boyfriend. It's hard to believe shes the same kid that just about drove me to the Funny Farm. We talk now, she is really wanting me to move to Chicago to be close to them....HUH? This from the kid who hated my being. My easy child is going to go to college in Chicago in 2 years and I very well may locate there when she goes. Being with kids and grandkid is what makes me happy.

    Sweet Betsy and I talked about what it took for her to "turn it around" and her first reply was-"When my problems became mine and you no longer let them be yours". She went on to add that time and maturity made a huge difference as well. She has settled down for sure. I can't put into words how proud I am of her, really really proud.

    easy child is being typical teen these days. Testing the waters but staying within the lines. Why oh why do they have to question everything? She is making great grades, hanging out with decent friends and staying off the path her sister took....I can't ask for more.

    As for me, single still, working hard and spending free time with family. Life is good right now, for which I am thankful.

    Blessings to All,

    Mrs. McNear
  16. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Jo, husband doesn't take the classes with me (although sometimes he will sit in the studio to watch). I figure that dancing is MY thing and I'm not going to try and force husband into it, nor am I going to wait for husband to all of a sudden develop a love of dancing so that he's willing to join me. I'm just happy that he supports my hobby. The best part...since I'm taking classes alone, I get to dance with the instructor the whole time. (In the past when I've taken partner dance classes, I have had my feet stepped on by all the beginner men in the class. This is WAY better)
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I just don't even know where I belong anymore.

    The school called today - Dude has a headache and they won't give him an aspirin, but wanted to call and tell me that they will have him arrested in an alternative school for cursing because they dont' have to put up with that type of behavior.

    Then they tell me he needs a ride.

    Then they tell me that he's going to be out of school until his IEP is reformatted - they just did it 3 weeks ago. So no school till tues.

    And then again - can I come get him? Nope.

    Do I have the number to the foster family? Nope.

    Then i said "can someone give him a couple of Tylenol for his migraine?" Nope - the nurse is out and apparently the only one who can give you an aspirin is a nurse. (duh)

    So instead of Dude telling the teacher he had a headache - he sat in his chair and called her name until it bugged her so badly she snapped at him and when she snapped at him - he snapped back and got up and slammed the door. So she wants him out of her class. He said fine by him -

    And I'm sitting here thinking - WHY in the Heck is anyone calling ME?

    I get preached to by the choir about let him be on his own, take his lumps, solve his own problems by that stupid school - and when they can't handle him = they call Mom . ARGH.....this is such a messed up system.

    And tune in Monday for Court or no court----Starring the Mom who has to give up a days pay and pay for gas, and pay court fees, and not be privy to the conversation between the solicitor and the kid. To see if the kid is going to jail for 6 years or if they think this is about as bogus of a charge as we do. If they don't then we get to go back in 6 months to court for sentencing. This is such a waste of everyones time. ARGH ARGH. BLARGH

    I'm going to go find that tender boat Witz was on and about 200 lbs of chocolate and liquor - and sail the freak away.
  18. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I have been living by the old wise adage---"if you can't say something nice, say nothing all all!" Not much is really going on here. Same ole/same ole.
    difficult child is not living at home, but we are still, for the most part supporting him. He is going to school---I think. He has not found a job---but he SAYS he is trying. I have sent out dozens of resumes on craigslist---but nothing yet. He says he is going to work in the the next week at a pizza/sub place. I hope so. He is living minimally--we pay rent---help with gas---buy him food---but very little cash.
    PCson is doing well, I guess. He called monday to say that there may be another baby on the way. Called today---might be a miscarriage. We will know Thursday.
    PCdaughter is going through a break-up with (what I thought to be) the nicest guy she's ever dated. Don't let good manners and good looks fool you. He is the biggest jerk. He decided to go back to ex---broke my baby's heart! I am looking closely for signs of depression. She is still trying to find herself. She didn't go back to school this term because she was looking into the military. She changed her mind when she met heartbreaker. Now, she will flounder again, I'm afraid. Until she gets the next idea of how to "change" her life. Oh well, she's 18. She supports herself---for the most part. She will "grow" up soon enough.
    Foster daughter is having anxiety attacks. She called and said she was going to the dr. Was having chest pains. I diagnosed her. Then he confirmed. Two girls under 4---a fulltime job----yep!! Anxiety.
    I'm doing okay. It's tough year at school. I'm teaching freshman for the first time in 20 years---and well, it is my belief that all children between the ages of 13 and 16 should be shipped off to single gender boarding schools!!!! This group is really wearing me down. Luckily, I have to classes of juniors to help me make it through the day.
    husband is still in a depression over losing both his parents last year. I sometimes feel sorry for him, but most of the time I just want to shake him! I know losing your parents is hard---been there done that---but he mopes around here like he is the only person to ever experience that kind of grief. I have told him to seek counseling. I have told him to see a dr. about antidepressants. Instead he mopes. And spends money!
    Oops. Looks like this turned into a vent. And I just threw the old adage out the window---Sorry.
  19. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    I am doing okay, here's update: difficult child 1 (in Seattle) seems to be doing pretty well. She has an apt., says she hasn't heard from the boyfriend, and she made $1200.00 in two nights on the job (exotic dancer). She seems thrilled to have her own place and was excited to tell me that she had bought a coffee maker and some "good" knives and pots and pans. She has friends to hang out with and loves Seattle. I am so hoping things go well for her there and that she is telling the truth that boyfriend is no longer in the picture. As you all well know these difficult children don't always tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

    difficult child 2 has gotten back together with her boyfriend who broke up with her in Sept. She says she has her boundaries in place and she told him this is his only chance. Funny, he broke up with her but has been trying to get her back this whole time. She seems quite happy, hope she is the one to break up with him if and when it happens. She was afraid to tell me they were back together but had to since they were planning to see each other. I told her it was not my business, that I trusted her to know what she is doing (only a small lie). I do want her to know that if things go bad she count on me for support, I won't say, "I told you so."

    My easy child son began a cheesesteak business last August and it is still in business but I don't know if it will make it or not. They've been struggling. They started on such a shoestring budget that they had nothing to back them up for slow times. He has not paid any of his student loan bills since last summer and God knows what else so we have creditors calling all the time for him. He sure works hard though--7 days a week, 12 hr days or more. The food's great!

    Trinity, my husband and I took swing dance lessons for many years and we used to go out dancing every weekend to local bands. I have been having a shoulder problem and can't do turns so we haven't been dancing. I am seeing an orthopedist next week--my physical therapist thinks I have a tear in the rotator cuff. I am bummed out to have this problem but hope I can get it fixed so I can dance again!

    This was a great thread, glad to read up on everyone!

  20. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    P.S. How do I get my signature to show up again? The little box is checked but I never see it!