I've had a bad day...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Oct 27, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Let me start by saying I know I am in a bad mood so maybe that contributed. I planned on reviewing my "plan" and options for getting to HI today now that all my paperwork has been submitted. I had started looking at this before then thought I should look at it again now, as far as when I could get out there and what things I can do to minimize costs. That way if I get a solid offer and asked when I can be out there, I will know what to tell them. Once I had an idea of that, I was going to check local job offers again, then start selling stuff.

    I called a few days ago to get a budget figure for moving a minimal amount of furniture and household goods and called about some housing. I had left 2 messages for difficult child's CM to find out if they would coordinate his release date or if not, would they narrow it down a bit more. I thought it would be good to talk to her while they are reviewing his release date (nbased on what she previously told me), in case they would coordinate it some. Right now all I know is that they are considering Jan., Feb., or March. Well, shee has never returned my call and apparently somewhat blew it off when difficult child asked her about returning my call. So, I left a message with someone at the state level to ask this question and got no return call. So, I called another number at the state level and this lady seemed to want to help but could not give me the answer. She took difficult child's name and facility and said she would have someone get back to me. A couple of hours later, I get a call from a woman who handles the paperwork for kids on probation and parole who are going out of state.

    I knew right then she could not help me. She was very patronizing and just kept telling me the process for moving a kid on parole- which I already knew. I tried to explain my question better- I just want to know if Department of Juvenile Justice will coordinate the release date or tell me roughly when the release date is so I can determine if I should plan to move before or afterwards. (The issue is that I either need to move 2-3 mos before the release date or plan to wait until after difficult child's released to move and I can't determine that without having this narrowed down more than a 3 month period.) Anyway, she then says, very patronizingly, I should talk to the parole officer. I tell her I have and he said it was up to Department of Juvenile Justice. Then after going round and round like I'm talking to a wall, she says "how would I know when he'll get released". Well, that is why I told her that I did not think this messsage got relayed to the correct person, could she give me the contact person who would have this answer. His CM, then it goes to "someone else" and she has no idea who it will go to but they probably don't know when he''ll be released. I lost it on this woman. It was the way she was talking to me. I told her I was trying to accommodate Department of Juvenile Justice requirements but I think they could be considerate enough to let me know what I'm dealing with and at least return a call. I told her a lot of other stuff, too. She told me to make my plans for what was in the best interest of my family. Well, I am trying to but we aren't talking about a move to the next county, we are talking about a move to HI and that takes a lot of money and coordination with the governemnt job- oh yeah, now I remember- that's not their problem. "Well, Mam, we DO care", she says. Yeah right- I say "Lady, I have been revolving my life around you people for several years now and I'm still trying to jump through hoops to accommodate what you all want but you have literally about devastated my family and I am sorry sometimes that I EVER called the police on my son". Yep- I was out there by that point. LOL! She asks who the parole officer was, I told her. I wonder what will come from that but I don't know that I care right now.

    Now what do I do? It is rather time consuming to sit here and form a budget plan for 2 or more scenarios. If they don't plan on telling me a release date until a few weeks beforehand, this will not work. I'm thinking so pessimistic right now. Bad mood, I know- still, it seems like I should either forgget about this job or consider telling Department of Juvenile Justice that they can just keep my son until they are finished with him, then when they release him from parole and their system altogether, he can come back home.

    And about that security clearance- the man investigating it is apparently a man of few words. I am aware that it can take 1-2 mos to complete, but I asked him to tell me "at his earliest convenience" if my info I submitted automatically disqualifies me. For instance- the money I owe for debts the past 2-3 mos. If that disqualifies me, would they keep going with the rest of the investigation and wait a month or two to tell me that it didn't come through? Can't (and wouldn't) they tell me this within a week or two?

    I didn't get anything done today. And I am definitely "Miss Cranky" right now!
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2009
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sorry K---sounds like you need to take a few days away from all of it and just find some inner peace---then you can get back to trying to figure it all out. I know how stressful it is to have Department of Juvenile Justice so heavily involved in your life but having to solve all of the problems they then create. Hugs---
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    thank you- it's like this though, I need to either make a house pmnnt by this week or end up with my house in foreclosure. In order to make that decision, I need to determine if I can spare the money and live here a little longer, maintinaing an address in this state which is required if I'm going to wait until difficult child is released before I move. Or if I'm keeping the money and moving before he gets released and let them go ahead and take the house. I'm so fed up with legal people I can't see straight. I have signed buckoo papers saying I will support their efforts with difficult child- I'd like to know why they can't seem to support the parnet's efforts and why they can't figure out that if they would back up parents more, maybe the kids wouldn't get so out of control.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    So sorry. Ya know, it really shouldn't be that hard. You're asking a simple question. And if they can't give you a solid date, they could at least tell you why they can't give you a solid date.......or what you'll have to do/not do once you get it. Frankly, I think I'd have lost it on the woman too. I don't do patronizing well. lol

    It's the waiting that's killer. Gawd how I hate the waiting.

  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's what I thought, Lisa. First, it was reasonable for me to ask- and I was trying to show that I'm trying to work with them. Of course, that is my experience with legal people around here- they say they "need the parent to work with them" yet it really appears that they won't work with the parent. Anyway, what upset me most - besides the patronizing- was that the CM couldn't return my call and say "it will be XXX before we know his date; we don't coordinate schedules unless ABC", or whatever. I have felt like I'm the one getting the shaft for a few years now and I resent both difficult child and the legal people for it- I AM NOT THE ONE WHO BROKE THE LAW- WHY AM I BEING TREATED LIKE THE DOORMAT WHO HAS TO TAKE WHATEVER THEY DISH OUT?