I am sure that if kids want to they can have sex, take drugs, get drunk etc. whether I check in on them or not. I had one child who did it (however, there was no surprise...we knew what she was doing since she was twelve and we KNEW her friends were all bad news). I think that our incredible concern for this daughter (Julie, who is now 28) and trying thte best we knew how to stay involved with her and trying to get to k now her friends and their parents helped her make her decision at 19 to quit using drugs. I think kids care more when you show you care. I could be wrong, but it worked for me. I am very close to Julie now. She has never berated me for chasing after her on the streets at night or calling her friends or their parents. Not once. And we've talked about everything.
Jumper has been a good kid so far. She just turned sixteen. She just broke up with her boyfriend and, for their ages, it was a serious relationship. I know for a fact (thankfully) there was no sex and there could have been because we let them hang upstairs in her room and sex doesn't take such a long time to do. And it could be that I could drop by a party (and if you think I CARE if the parents talk about me or not, you have the wrong person)...there could be five kids sitting around the fire and two couples behind the tree doing drugs. HOWEVER...I think the odds are better if I check to make sure the parents are home...and that none of the k ids I see are drinking or hanging all over one another with the guy's hand down the girl's shirt. I don't expect to see anything like this. I expect Jumper to be doing exactly what she says she is going to do, but I've checked up on all of my other kids...why not her? Again, some parents here seem to care a lot more about it than Jumper does...lol. She even hands me her cell phone to read conversations. I trust her. It's the others I don't know if I trust because I don't know them.
And what ABOUT those parents? Thankfully, Jumper isn't friends with the girl whose mom thinks it's perfectly fine, even noble, to give kids beer at her house. Her reasoning is, "They're going to do it anyway so as long as they are, may as well drink here and at least not be on the road." Um...sorry, no. Not ALL kids are going to drink beer. Not even close. But they may feel pressured to do so if the PARENT who is hosting the sleepover is handing them out beer or other alcohol with her blessing. There are too many goofy parents out there and I want to know a little about the parents who are going to be in charge of my daughter. A good responsible parent would have no trouble with another one checking on the person's kid. At least, I can't imagine why she would (shrug).
I have never heard a parent complain about another parent for being too cautious, unless that parent never let the child do anything, which is not the case with Jumper. She is out almost every night. I *have* heard other parents talk very nastily about parents who never watch their kids or who seem to let their kids do whatever they want to do and don't even know w here they are. This has been MY experience. If some parents talk about me for dropping by to give Jumper a sweater (good idea!) or heck I like the idea of driving by without stopping too!!! (lol...thanks, guys) then I really don't care. I've never been too concerned with what other parents said about me..I'm sure some parents have said negative things in my lifetime. So what? I've said and thought negative things as well, especially about Mrs. smith who doesn't even know that Susie spent the night at our house because she was out on a date with her honey.
Anyhow, for those who care, I had the wrong day for the volleyball party. That is going to be tomorrow. These are most of the girls that Jumper hangs with since they are all girl jocks. Jumper is actually quite excited by all the stuff we bought for our back yard. She was more upbeat over Joe today too. She even told me about two other "nice" boys who are interested in her, however she laughed and said, "But why would I want to do that all over again so soon? I don't WANT a boyfriend!" Jumper....good thinking!