Just a little vent about easy child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hearts and roses, Dec 7, 2008.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    So, easy child and difficult child have to give me $35/week 'rent'...it is just to help with the monthly oil bill or whatever needs help. I keep it out of my account and in cash in a hiding spot so when I need it, it's there. in my opinion, it is not a lot of money, but it helps. I believe they think it is a lot of money. I mean, where else can they live with food and hot showers, private rooms, free parking, heat, hot water, and electricity, as well as live in kenneling, etc., for a mere $140/month?? Nowhere. Maybe the YWCA.

    Anyway, the other day I went with easy child to the store to pick up a few things. She was buying some items to make Christmas mixes in a jar as gifts but forgot her wallet (how convenient). So I put it in with my stuff and paid (it was about $20 worth).

    The next day she gave my the $70 for two weeks and then took back $10 so she could get a pizza (I had just gone food shopping but she claimed there was nothing in the house!). So, she took back the $10, no biggie.

    Then the very next day when I called home, she was just finishing up her christmas jar gifts and mentioned that she had to go buy more flour and sugar and that now I owed her $5 for those because she didn't use them all and was going to put them in my pantry. WTH?? She USED all of my flour and sugar and I bought all that other carp she needed to make the stupid jars - which she is giving to every one but us I might add. I just sort of did this sputtery thing because to be honest, I was at a loss for words. I finally was able to say, "Hmmm, if memory serves, I paid for all the other stuff and you still owe me money, soooo....." and responded with, "Okay, mom, whatever" and we hung up. I was just appalled by her ballsyness! Still am.

    Yesterday I went food shopping, yet again, and bought juice. When I got home, she was asleep and when she got up, she drank half the carton and then came to tell me that there is nothing in the house she likes and that she wishes I would buy a better variety of juice because all we have is OJ and cider. Hmph. I turned to her and very politely suggested that she buy her own juice. "In fact," I said, "how about you take that $30 you OWE me and go to the store after work tomorrow and buy a few juices and other items that you & difficult child would like? Since you don't like anything I buy, you can do that for me. Thanks!" She made a snarky face but shut right up.

    I just want to say that I am not a picky, tit-for-tat person with money. In fact, I hate that kind of pettiness. in my opinion, if any ONE of us sees we need something or that something needs getting done, we should just do it without expecting anything in return. I have, or at least I thought I had, instilled this in my girls. But apparently, easy child has this money pettiness thing going and it drives me insane. difficult child is the opposite - she has no money pettiness at all. In fact, I don't even have to ask her for her money - I find it on the counter for me each and every Friday without fail. With easy child I have to ask for DAYS...at least 3/4 times before she coughs it up and then I get an attitude from her. It's maddening. It reminds me so much of my exmil - she was always like that with her money. She once loaned exh and I $300 for our gas to heat the house and she charged us 3% interest. Now that I know better, apparently she'd been burned by exh so it makes sense, but in a way, at the time, I just thought WTH? But I digress....

    I won't even get into the puppy. If I hear another remark from H about that cute little puppy being mine now, I will kill him. Hahah. She's so cute and I can't hate her, she's just a love. But I didn't want another dog to care for and train. Ugh - see, I can't even go there right now. I will just add that the sweet little thing sleeps with H and me and we're not happy about that so much. Most nights I don't care, but once in a while, it would be nice to have a private moment with H - alone.

    Okay, vent over. I have to talk about stuff with difficult child, but I will post that in the PE another time.
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sounds like she feels entitled. I would spell it out. The $35 a week gives her room and board and whatever food that you buy. If she prefers something other than what you buy, she is to purchase it herself. (Of course, if she does that, she'll probably write her name on it and tell everyone else that they can't have any.)

    When the puppy comes in your room to sleep, I would pick him up and put him on easy child's bed. She wanted the puppy, she cares for him.

    If she's going to do the tit for tat with the money, I would either stop paying for her things to help her out, or keep an itemized log of what she owes you.

    Sorry she's being such a pain. Moving back home is a privilege, not a right. Sounds like it's time for her to see how it works in the real world.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm with you, JoG. Totally. My theory is that those who try to make issue when it's more than obvious that they have it made, are really making issue because they have it too easy. So, try raising the weekly fee to a sum that covers all these things she wants and "needs". in my humble opinion.

    PS Heather's suggestion is a good one, too. So, if you choose to be exceptionally nice, maybe give her the choice- either $35 a week and you (she) pay for these other things, or $xx a week and I'll get this amount extra that you ask for.
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I"m just jumping in to say i'm sorry that she's testing your patience level this way. When I was a teenager I was charged rent, and I was 17 at the time. Let me just say her doing this prepared me for the real world in a small way, yet still helped. Mind you I moved out at 18, lol (the rent had nothing to do with it)

    Sounds like you guys should sit down and talk, she needs to know also that she's an adult now and part of you teaching her how to be a responsible adult is what you are doing with the 35/wk thing, besides helping to pay for things in the house that are shared. also she needs to be mindful of food that she eats, and go get her own juice.

    ok my two cents lol

  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Haha, she does that already! H said we should start labeling everything else "Mom & Dad's" - see how she likes that!

    I think she got it because tonight she went to the store and picked up some juice and other stuff. She claims that chocolate chips should be considered a household staple. I said they are, but everytime I buy some, she uses them so we're always running out. Her boyfriend was here and he was laughing at her - he totally picked up that she was being a pita. Haha.

    It's not like I'm over the moon about it annoyed - just a pita thing. I am not going to sit and lay it out for her. We've been there done that with her. I think this time around it's all going to come to a nasty head and we'll just have to have a bit of a blow out. I have to tell you that I can count on one hand the times that has happened with easy child - possibly only three times that I can think of, she's always been easy.

    However, in terms of her being so easy, I guess it's just dawning on me now that the reason she seemed so easy is because difficult child was so difficult. How's that for an epiphany?? Haha - a little late, huh? But true. Now that difficult child is relatively easier, I'm noticing all the ways in which easy child is such a pita.

    H said I need to find something to do with myself for distraction and suggested that start by making him a pie every week. Hahah - weenie. Thanks ladies.
  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Hope all goes well. At least she did buy some stuff for the house. One step in the right direction.

  7. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Shoot. I label stuff with H and myself. THAT'S MY MILK!!!:mad: Touch it and you will pay. I'm the one who remembered to buy it. You're on your own.

    You're at the spot where kids leave the nest....hopefully. They are not quite self sufficient, but are getting it slowly. I know I went through this with Jared when I finally cut off his cell. You'd have thought he lost a leg. So now he sits with no cell and working his arse off. Good for him. Maybe a lesson learned.