Just a vent - difficult child's abound and they are NOT children Argh!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Dec 28, 2010.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Matt's father had been kind of/sort of reaching out in previous months. Contact was online. I have not spoken to him but 3 times (all civil) in Matt's 17 years of life. (His father stopped speaking to me the day I told him I was pregnant, we were together until that day, then it was instantly over). His reason he gives Matt for not being in touch is he can't possibly call MY house to speak to his only child. Matt has told him plenty of times how ridiculous that is, as I have no reason to give him a hard time and that 17 years of never bothering with him should be plenty experience to know that calling here isn't a problem. Whatever. Grr!

    So a few months back, his father mentions getting a cell for Matt so he can contact him regularly. Had Matt searching various phones and calling plans. Well wouldn't you know it, 6 weeks now ZERO contact from difficult child dad! Well my boy might have a good head on his shoulders and stand up to his dad now that he's approaching adulthood. But lurking in there is that little boy who wants his father to give a hoot, Know what I mean?? So he tells me he wants a cell for Christmas. I knew it was so he could have his dad call and he had realized his dad would not come through with a cell and phone plan. S/O and I picked up a pretty nice prepaid cell phone and loaded him up with free calls evenings and weekends, unlimited mobile browsing and texting. Because it was prepaid and active, we gave it to him a couple of days before Christmas as to not waste the first few days of the package I'd already paid for.

    Matt fired off 5 emails and copied each to his fathers facebook inbox as well. He heard nothing back. Each message included his new cell number and requests to message him back and call him. Christmas comes and goes, not a peep!

    So yesterday while on facebook, Matt sees his dad is online at the same time (FB chat feature showed him online) and then his fathers profile updated his relationship status to single. As soon as Matt messages his dad saying he could see he was online, his dad went offline.

    Matt messaged his dad the following (Which he copied to my inbox): You can come on to change your status. but you cant reply to your son for months. your a (insert nasty swear word) loser. seriously

    Poor kid. He is always polite even when putting his difficult child dad in his place, but this time he lost his cool I guess. He was all hopped up with anger most of yesterday morning. His dads sister saw it posted to his dads wall and chimed in pretty nasty to Matt about speaking to his father that way. Set Matt right off. He fired back how his father gets respect as a father when he learns to behave as a father. Told her this was none of her business and it was between him and his father (I agree, although perhaps not with the language). She fired back it was her brother, was of course her business. Matt fired back if she was so concerned about his fathers business, how many times over 17 years has she ever butted in and told her brother to stop being a lowlife deadbeat and to be a real man and father. Ugh!

    I am so fed up with this man!!!
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The guy sounds like a total jerk! I'm so sorry Matt has to deal with all of this. Hugs to you both!
  3. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    It's a shame that Matt's Dad is the loser he is because he is missing out on a great kid. The fact that Matt can see for himself what his Dad is and has the courage to call Dad out, that is quite an accomplishment. And that when the auntie sticks her nose in, Matt isn't pulled in to the drama of feeling guilt, again that shows such quality of character in Matt.

    I'm sorry that Matt has to go through this pain. easy child has gone through pretty much the same thing with his Bio-dad. And he too has learned what a man is and knows that the bio-dad isn't one.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending Matt many hugs. Miss KT's father (aka Useless Boy) has been doing similar things for 14 years...strangely enough, he was a wonderful father until she turned 5.

    I don't know what these men are thinking, but we should just line them up, and then we all go down the line slapping them for hurting our kids like that.
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I have to agree, your son acts more like a man than his donor does. Kudos to him and to you as well for raising him so well!