Just Complaining

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Jun 24, 2013.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I just received a text from difficult child's therapist. They haven't met since before school was out. therapist said they would really start up in July to get her ready for school and to work on the school anxiety. Ok, sounds like a great idea. Well, now she is pusing for difficult child to go to group on Monday nights from 6-7:30. Normally that would not be a huge deal, but difficult child runs a horse riding camp from 9-5 M-F, and gives private lessons on top of that. By 6, she is absolutely exhausted. Being outside in the heat, and doing hard physical work not to mention being mentally on alert all the time is alot. And I hae to brag, difficult child is VERY VERY good at what she does. Parents come up to me daily and tell me how much their children love her, and how much they are learning.

    ANyway, her therapist is really getting on me about difficult child attending group and how it will help her anxiety so much. I am sure it would, but how much good is it going to do her if she is falling asleep and grouchy and irritable about being there. difficult child said she won't go, because she would have nothing left.

    The therapist wants to to not go to camp so late, but she has already committed to it, we really push our girls to honor their commitments.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Stand up to t-doctor. I doubt group will help her so much in short period of time. I'd just say no, this is too important to difficult child's self-esteem.
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I did tell therapist that. I texted her back and said difficult child stated that she would not be able to actively participate in group, and wants at this point to just do one on one therapy. difficult child is sound asleep on the sofa right now, and it is 7:00. How is she supposed to be in group right now? It just get mad when people don't understand how hard riding really is. Most people think it is trail walking. It isn't. She is Jumping and training these horses. It is not easy to get a 1200 pound animal to do what you want and make it look simple. She trains just as hard as any other sports person.
  4. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I agree with MWM. This is a really positive thing in difficult child's life and it makes her feel good about herself (and helps others to boot). I would think that running this camp is very therapeutice for difficult child.
  5. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Your difficult child said no to this group. And she has a valid reason for that. Help her stand up for herself and take a mastership of her treatment. Time for that is about there anyway and that shift is necessary for success of her treatment.

    Her life, her treatment, her choice. Certainly not something therapist can dictate (and not even mom in the end.)
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    therapist needs to back off. I would love for difficult child 1 to be so committed and work so hard at anything. What she is doing is great and she is probably getting more from what she is doing than from the tdocs group.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ditto Liahona. Sometimes tdocs think they have the magic bullet. There isn't one... just multiple "nudges" along the way. And this riding stuff is a bigger nudge than any "group therapy" could be.
  8. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I agree with what the others have said. Riding is a positive thing for your difficult child. I have a dear friend who rides and I k ow just how much work goes into it. And if she is really good at it, it will boost her self esteem. She will get very little, if anything, out of the group if she is that exhausted at the end of the night.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    therapist works for you, not the other way around. IF he is this insistent, maybe you need anther therapist. He is trying to bully you and difficult child on YOUR dime.

    I've been in group therapy and still am.

    1/You have to want to be there for it to be effective.
    2/ You don't know until several times if the others in the group are a good fit for you so it takes time.
    3/ It is a helpful booster to other therapies, but not at the expense of something like your daughter is doing with horses.

    Tell him it is YOUR decision to not pursue group at this time.
  10. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    We meet tmrw night with therapist, and I plan on telling her exactly that MWM. difficult child very plainly stated that she will be too tired to sit for an hour and a half and actually get anything out of it. I found that very responsible and thought it was great that difficult child thought about it, and made a reasonable decision based on what she is doing. She is in no way refusing to go to therapy, she just wants to focus on just herself and work through her issues on her own. I was actually really proud of her. Thanks everyone for reaffirming what I thought.
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Dont let him bully you!
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree.
    You are the mom. Period. :)