gowildsafely
Just trying to hold on
Hi all...I'm a newbie here...
This is me venting...story of my/our lives kind of thing. Any input, thoughts, suggestions for support, etc. are always welcomed.
difficult child was always a little "different" than others his age. Finally diagnosis started at age 5. First, ADHD, then behavioral disorders such as Bi-polar, maybe ODD, some discussion (later dismissed) on Aspergers. And on we go. constant struggles with the schools, the IEP, long, weary battles.
**Fast forward**
Dealing with life and a difficult child. Trying to make every day worth living for him and the little one. Then...BOOM...April '07...Spouse (ugh) calls Me at work, says he's just not coming home - EVER. HUH? As details roll in, turns out had paramour who was pregnant, quit his job because that's where she worked, he moves in with her. Huh?
Moving forward, we have to sell the family home, and due to market, at no profit, strictly loan value.
I move, with my children to a tiny apartment to try to make a life on our own. I find a great school (lots of research) and daycare. difficult child gets his IEP, long discussions with the school, principle, Special Education, etc. difficult child starts school, is doing well, adapting. Then...
BOOM...
September 11, 2007...difficult child had been dealing with a lot of sharp pains, nose bleeds, and sporadic joint swelling...after many, MANY, mis-diagnosis...difficult child is found to have Cancer...Leukemia to be exact. Sigh...
3.5 years of chemo...hospitals, clinics, procedures, etc. on top of psychologists, psychiatrists...so on and so on...
difficult child doing well, then behaviors kick back in full force. Out bursts and meltdowns at school. Fighting with me. I have no support from EX, no financial, etc. Job is at risk, lost many many hours, lost pay, trips to doctors./Hospital 2+ hours away.
Generally speaking, I don't know how much more I can handle? I have no money, no close family, it's just me and my boys all the time. EX takes them every other weekend (when he chooses not to back out at the last minute) and I have no social life. No one visits, I'm broke - financially, spiritually, emotionally, mentally....the list goes on...just broke.
Like I said, I'm not necessarily asking for device, but I don't know how much more I can take...and just writing that I feel horrible guilt because he's (difficult child) the one who's truly suffering.
What's a mom to do?
Thank you for listening...God bless...
This is me venting...story of my/our lives kind of thing. Any input, thoughts, suggestions for support, etc. are always welcomed.
difficult child was always a little "different" than others his age. Finally diagnosis started at age 5. First, ADHD, then behavioral disorders such as Bi-polar, maybe ODD, some discussion (later dismissed) on Aspergers. And on we go. constant struggles with the schools, the IEP, long, weary battles.
**Fast forward**
Dealing with life and a difficult child. Trying to make every day worth living for him and the little one. Then...BOOM...April '07...Spouse (ugh) calls Me at work, says he's just not coming home - EVER. HUH? As details roll in, turns out had paramour who was pregnant, quit his job because that's where she worked, he moves in with her. Huh?
Moving forward, we have to sell the family home, and due to market, at no profit, strictly loan value.
I move, with my children to a tiny apartment to try to make a life on our own. I find a great school (lots of research) and daycare. difficult child gets his IEP, long discussions with the school, principle, Special Education, etc. difficult child starts school, is doing well, adapting. Then...
BOOM...
September 11, 2007...difficult child had been dealing with a lot of sharp pains, nose bleeds, and sporadic joint swelling...after many, MANY, mis-diagnosis...difficult child is found to have Cancer...Leukemia to be exact. Sigh...
3.5 years of chemo...hospitals, clinics, procedures, etc. on top of psychologists, psychiatrists...so on and so on...
difficult child doing well, then behaviors kick back in full force. Out bursts and meltdowns at school. Fighting with me. I have no support from EX, no financial, etc. Job is at risk, lost many many hours, lost pay, trips to doctors./Hospital 2+ hours away.
Generally speaking, I don't know how much more I can handle? I have no money, no close family, it's just me and my boys all the time. EX takes them every other weekend (when he chooses not to back out at the last minute) and I have no social life. No one visits, I'm broke - financially, spiritually, emotionally, mentally....the list goes on...just broke.
Like I said, I'm not necessarily asking for device, but I don't know how much more I can take...and just writing that I feel horrible guilt because he's (difficult child) the one who's truly suffering.
What's a mom to do?
Thank you for listening...God bless...