D
DavidH
Guest
Hello everyone, I have been busy with work which is a good thing for me... So thought I would put into words how the visit went with Justin for the weekend from Residential Treatment Center (RTC). See if I can make more sense of it.. as I am very confused about my feelings of the visit.
First I took my Mom to go to family day, the plan was we spend all day at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and bring Justin home after family day so he can have more time with me. His idea, and I was fine with it.
Now last month I also took Mom on family day and afterwards she expressed concern Justin paid no attention to her and she said she felt like he did not love her or "need" her like he has in the past, and she seemed very depressed about it. I simply told her she needed to understand he is not this little boy anymore he is maturing and growing but I know he will always be close to her but not her little boy any longer.
Well this visit was worse - she wanted to go so I took her, with in an hour of us arriving she had gone into my car and just sat. I, once they started to get us ready for lunch had to go out to the car and find her and let her know lunch was being served she should come in to eat.
I asked her why she was in the car all she said was I am cold and wanted to warm up, well now I know my mom and her "self pity" moments and thsi was one of them. But I let it alone and said nothing.
She did the same thing (go into car) a couple of more times during the visit at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I simply let it go.
As far as Justin he was a little more stand offish this time, he however did even come to me and say, since I am going to have 27 hour pass I want to hang out with everyone this time, that is why I am not sitting next to you the whole time, I told him he can do what he wants that is fine.
We left Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at 3pm and I had to stop off at one of my stores since the owner came to town and he needed to go over a few things with me and really I think he wanted to meet Justin aswell, during my 1.5 hours with the owner my mom took Justin to walmart and bought things Justin wanted - which I feel should not of been bought... movies ect...
Came home and he was very excited about seeing his dog, and wanted to watch movies did not want to go out to eat but wanted to eat at home. So he wanted to eat my pinto beans and cornbread something easy - well I said ok and I asked him to make the cornbread he was busy setting up the dvd player and I could tell he did not want to help out, he said I do not know how, I said Justin it is the same you have made in the past pour out the box and add one egg and some milk, he did it acting like it was a huge chore, but being very respectful - I had to tell him each step even something so little as ok now get the milk and an egg, he even asked what he was sapose to measure the milk out in!!! uggg
He did it as instructed but left the box on the counter and bowl on the counter... I just finished it up and put it in the oven.
Then just hung out him and I and we both feel asleep at 9pm ...
6AM he comes into my room to see if I was awake, and of course I was.. darn sleep!! (or lack of) ...
He wanted breakfast at home even though I offered to go to iHop as I did not want to cook, (I was just worn out from being at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) it was windy as all get out and got very cold and they still made up all stay outside.)
He wanted to go look at guitar's and this Gander mountain sports store, I said fine we will but remember I am just looking not buying. He was fine with it.
I even stopped at my moms and invited he to go, she still in same self pity mood, said no... SHE NEVER turns down going to stores with me, and for sure if Justin is with me!!! I just said ok ... and left.
We get to the sports store and he goes to hiking boots and I know he wants some new ones but his main thinng is name brand that some of the other boys have... I mean the ones over 150.00! I simply said I am not buying anymore boots for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) you have what you have and your feet are growing too fast to spend that kind of money on them no matter how good they are or how long they will last, he accepted it and did not give me a problem.
Got to the guitar center, and it was neat whatching him go through each of them - he got help from a guy there that gave me lots of info as well, Justin was unclear if he wanted electric or a regular one, well after trying out a number of them of both kinds, he decided he was more into a regular guitar... now the whole time I was going back in forth in my mind I was not buying and he was not asking me to buy... but he found one that was ok price at 200.00 - and I kept saying to myself... this kid has wanted one for a couple of years now, and he has been doing so well at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) maybe it is ok if I go ahead and get one, (even though he was not asking me too) so he was sitting there and really liked the one and said this would be the one I would get when I get it.. I just told the guy at sotre to get one in box and I will take it.. .. Justin did not seem surprised or elated as he normally would of been... and I never once got a "Thank You" - however that is not why I did it... I did it simply because I felt he deserved something and just because I love him and wanted him to have something I have said no on for two years at least.
We drive home and he wanted to stop my Grammy and play some playstation with her, I said fine and I just dropped him off at her house and did not even get out of my car. He went in and I went home and laid down to try and nap. about an hour and a half later he comes home. And wants to watch Saw 4 . We did and then got up to leave for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) ... no problems.
He is fine on the drive and as normal right at ten to 15 mins before we get there he does his, I hate it here lets just rive back home dad and never come back stuff.. I just laugh it off and tell him he is being silly... and express how well he is doing and just to keep it up, your closer to home now than you were and if you keep going like you are you will be home sooner than later... He gets checked in and I leave...
I am not happy, or sad I am blank... in a way I could not wait to drop him off (I feel horrible about that thought and feeling) I almost feel used by him. I do not know what it is... I almost feel like he was what he was in the past, but in a very respectful way... he got his way on everything during this visit... I do not know what it is...
And now of course my mom is being a little dink... she calls me monday eve knowing I am at work still and is rude to me asking me why I have not looked at a car she wanted me to look at for her. I simply said I have no time I have been working all day and I am 130 miles from home right now. Clearly she is still mad and I just do not care
Strange
First I took my Mom to go to family day, the plan was we spend all day at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and bring Justin home after family day so he can have more time with me. His idea, and I was fine with it.
Now last month I also took Mom on family day and afterwards she expressed concern Justin paid no attention to her and she said she felt like he did not love her or "need" her like he has in the past, and she seemed very depressed about it. I simply told her she needed to understand he is not this little boy anymore he is maturing and growing but I know he will always be close to her but not her little boy any longer.
Well this visit was worse - she wanted to go so I took her, with in an hour of us arriving she had gone into my car and just sat. I, once they started to get us ready for lunch had to go out to the car and find her and let her know lunch was being served she should come in to eat.
I asked her why she was in the car all she said was I am cold and wanted to warm up, well now I know my mom and her "self pity" moments and thsi was one of them. But I let it alone and said nothing.
She did the same thing (go into car) a couple of more times during the visit at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I simply let it go.
As far as Justin he was a little more stand offish this time, he however did even come to me and say, since I am going to have 27 hour pass I want to hang out with everyone this time, that is why I am not sitting next to you the whole time, I told him he can do what he wants that is fine.
We left Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at 3pm and I had to stop off at one of my stores since the owner came to town and he needed to go over a few things with me and really I think he wanted to meet Justin aswell, during my 1.5 hours with the owner my mom took Justin to walmart and bought things Justin wanted - which I feel should not of been bought... movies ect...
Came home and he was very excited about seeing his dog, and wanted to watch movies did not want to go out to eat but wanted to eat at home. So he wanted to eat my pinto beans and cornbread something easy - well I said ok and I asked him to make the cornbread he was busy setting up the dvd player and I could tell he did not want to help out, he said I do not know how, I said Justin it is the same you have made in the past pour out the box and add one egg and some milk, he did it acting like it was a huge chore, but being very respectful - I had to tell him each step even something so little as ok now get the milk and an egg, he even asked what he was sapose to measure the milk out in!!! uggg
He did it as instructed but left the box on the counter and bowl on the counter... I just finished it up and put it in the oven.
Then just hung out him and I and we both feel asleep at 9pm ...
6AM he comes into my room to see if I was awake, and of course I was.. darn sleep!! (or lack of) ...
He wanted breakfast at home even though I offered to go to iHop as I did not want to cook, (I was just worn out from being at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) it was windy as all get out and got very cold and they still made up all stay outside.)
He wanted to go look at guitar's and this Gander mountain sports store, I said fine we will but remember I am just looking not buying. He was fine with it.
I even stopped at my moms and invited he to go, she still in same self pity mood, said no... SHE NEVER turns down going to stores with me, and for sure if Justin is with me!!! I just said ok ... and left.
We get to the sports store and he goes to hiking boots and I know he wants some new ones but his main thinng is name brand that some of the other boys have... I mean the ones over 150.00! I simply said I am not buying anymore boots for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) you have what you have and your feet are growing too fast to spend that kind of money on them no matter how good they are or how long they will last, he accepted it and did not give me a problem.
Got to the guitar center, and it was neat whatching him go through each of them - he got help from a guy there that gave me lots of info as well, Justin was unclear if he wanted electric or a regular one, well after trying out a number of them of both kinds, he decided he was more into a regular guitar... now the whole time I was going back in forth in my mind I was not buying and he was not asking me to buy... but he found one that was ok price at 200.00 - and I kept saying to myself... this kid has wanted one for a couple of years now, and he has been doing so well at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) maybe it is ok if I go ahead and get one, (even though he was not asking me too) so he was sitting there and really liked the one and said this would be the one I would get when I get it.. I just told the guy at sotre to get one in box and I will take it.. .. Justin did not seem surprised or elated as he normally would of been... and I never once got a "Thank You" - however that is not why I did it... I did it simply because I felt he deserved something and just because I love him and wanted him to have something I have said no on for two years at least.
We drive home and he wanted to stop my Grammy and play some playstation with her, I said fine and I just dropped him off at her house and did not even get out of my car. He went in and I went home and laid down to try and nap. about an hour and a half later he comes home. And wants to watch Saw 4 . We did and then got up to leave for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) ... no problems.
He is fine on the drive and as normal right at ten to 15 mins before we get there he does his, I hate it here lets just rive back home dad and never come back stuff.. I just laugh it off and tell him he is being silly... and express how well he is doing and just to keep it up, your closer to home now than you were and if you keep going like you are you will be home sooner than later... He gets checked in and I leave...
I am not happy, or sad I am blank... in a way I could not wait to drop him off (I feel horrible about that thought and feeling) I almost feel used by him. I do not know what it is... I almost feel like he was what he was in the past, but in a very respectful way... he got his way on everything during this visit... I do not know what it is...
And now of course my mom is being a little dink... she calls me monday eve knowing I am at work still and is rude to me asking me why I have not looked at a car she wanted me to look at for her. I simply said I have no time I have been working all day and I am 130 miles from home right now. Clearly she is still mad and I just do not care
Strange