Kids and I went to our first Bar Mitzvah!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Apr 10, 2010.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    difficult child 1 didn't get to go - threw a massive "meltdown" and hit his sister. Since there is a NO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE requirement in our house IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM as well as calling me an "f-ing b-word", he was not allowed to attend. Their father came over to watch him as well as Evie (the music at large parties is traditionally really loud and I didn't think she'd enjoy herself).

    As a sidebar: he and difficult child 1 did some major talking together - so it worked out in the end.

    I knew that difficult child 2 & 3 wouldn't do to well in the ceremony itself, the boys mom told me to only take them to the party after (he son's a major "black and white" aspie - we got to be really good friends when I was helping her through a lot of the school business).

    What a fantastic time we all had!

    I must admit, as a plump little Irish-German Catholic, newly seperated, a melted-down difficult child at home with someone he's afraid of, walking in 1/2 hour late for a reception for an event that you have no idea how it works is just a teensy-bit intimidating - but I was determined to get these kids to have a great time.

    There was a HUGE kid table and I was seated with people I had never seen or heard of. They were a BLAST! Special needs parents are a panic! How I wish I could have met up with you guys in '09!

    The whole thing was targeted primarily toward the kids. There was singing, dancing, games, jokes and (aside from the delicious eggplant rolatini, baked ziti, stuffed filet of sole, beef with broccoli, veal marsala and lemon chicken) there were hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken nuggets and fries. Every kid in the place was glowing! Across from that buffet table there were bowls and bowls of different salads and all the stuff to put on them, grilled vegetable platters, fruit platters, cheese platters and a carving station. Everything that I had was delicious (I don't know if it was because it was cooked beautifully OR just because I didn't have to cook).

    The kids played more games with the DJ and they had a woman out in the hall doing charactures. difficult child 2 and 3 LOVED it.

    They served cake and coffee and then Voila! more kid stuff: a candy table with homemade ice cream sundaes and cookie platters and fruit. OMG! These kids ate and ate and ate all afternoon.

    While I missed difficult child 1 - it was great to have the other two out for a while without trauma and drama or diapers (I missed Evie too-she's such a fun little kid!). difficult child 2 was worried about me sitting without anyone and kept checking on me to see if I was ok. It was sweet.

    Dreaded having to dress up and go out, but so glad I went. There's a whole new world out there and we're going at it with gusto!

  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Yeah for you!!!!
  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Beth, it sounds like you all had a blast. So glad you were able to get out and have some fun.
  4. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Yeah for you too! How wonderful, you have a life! You can make it despite his failings as a husband!

    We went to our one and only Bar Mitzvah in Portland Maine when the boys were 13. It was for an adoptee who was their school friend. I was a nervous wreck because the ceremony lasted THREE hours and our sons couldn't sit for 15 mns without having issues. I was so impressed by the process. I was raised catholic and had been resisting any kind of religious ritual for years because of family issues. Every time a child showed up, the female rabbi interrupted the service and made a public welcome. I never witnessed so much admiration and love for children. I cried for three hours straight because the boy had been born into a non jewish family and passionately welcomed into a jewish one. I wanted to become jewish in order to be accepted by so many people with so much warmth.

    In my eyes, a huge problem is that the adoption process has no public display of acceptance into society. This ceremony was a revelation.

    The entire time I was in that synagogue, I thought of all the beloved children who had been exterminated in the camps just because of their origins.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like fun! Glad you had a good time.
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm so glad you guys had a good time.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad it turned out to be such a great time.
  8. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Glad you had a good time. it sounds like it was really neat.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Glad you and the kids got to go out and have a wonderful time without drama and gfgdom getting in the way! Sounds like loads of fun, and I think I gained 20lbs just reading your post! :rofl:
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Finally - Shalom!