B
Bunny
Guest
A while ago difficult child told the therapist that he "chooses" to behave at school and not at home because at school he feels liked and respected, and at home he feels like no one loves him. Okay, so we (well, mostly I) have been trying to spend more time with him and the whole "no one loves me" issues has lessened. Now he just says it when he doesn't get his way ("You won't let me do this and this why I feel like you don't love me." Tears, falling on the floor, on top of me begging to be hugged. Whatever).
Last night he tells the therapist that he "chooses" (again, his word) to behave at school because if he has a screaming temper tantrum at school he will embaress himself in front of his teachers and other kids, while at home that is not an issue. It doesn't matter to him what we think of him. The therapist tried to talk to him about how he behaves at home, towards his family, is just as important as how he behaves at school because his family are the ones who have to deal with him more and that how he treats the people who are closest to him is a big indication of his character. He told difficult child to think about that and that they would talk about it more next time we go there.
This morning he was being really rude to me (again) and he reminded him what the therapist had told him last night. His response was, "It doesn't matter how I treat you because you're my mother and you told me that you would alway love me not matter what I do."
Clearly, he does not get that I might always love him (and there are days when I think that even that is stretching the truth a bit), but that I certainly don't have to like him.
Last night he tells the therapist that he "chooses" (again, his word) to behave at school because if he has a screaming temper tantrum at school he will embaress himself in front of his teachers and other kids, while at home that is not an issue. It doesn't matter to him what we think of him. The therapist tried to talk to him about how he behaves at home, towards his family, is just as important as how he behaves at school because his family are the ones who have to deal with him more and that how he treats the people who are closest to him is a big indication of his character. He told difficult child to think about that and that they would talk about it more next time we go there.
This morning he was being really rude to me (again) and he reminded him what the therapist had told him last night. His response was, "It doesn't matter how I treat you because you're my mother and you told me that you would alway love me not matter what I do."
Clearly, he does not get that I might always love him (and there are days when I think that even that is stretching the truth a bit), but that I certainly don't have to like him.