Letter to the judge - need your help

[PatriotsGirl]

I had to write my thoughts out - I know they will not come across correctly if I don't. I plan to bring this to the court and asking if I can address the judge so I can read it. Could you please read it and let me know if there is anything I should add or change? I realize this has her real name on there, but some of you are Facebook friends and know her name anyway....thank you!!!! Oh and I do plan on actually getting on my knees in front of the judge at the end to beg for help.

Your Honor -

I am addressing the court to beg and plead for your help.
Marina has been a crystal meth addict for at least five years that we know about. Crystal meth has taken absolutely everything from Marina. She was expelled from high school in tenth grade for trying to sell drugs via text messages. She was on probation but probation would not order rehab because they did not want to pay for it. She failed many drug tests and never received a punishment of more than a month of house arrest (in which my husband and I had to go to work every day so she was at the home unsupervised – so it was not much help at all).
I thought as a minor, that I as her parent could order rehab. I soon found out that while she was indeed a minor, she was above the age of medical consent and no rehab would take her against her will unless it was court ordered. This left me powerless.
I tried to fill her time with other things – more positive activities. I signed her up to get her GED (which she received) and I tried to get her into college. She was too strung out to do well on any entrance exam. Later, even after she left home, I tried signing her up for bartender’s school in hopes that it would help her get a job. She was too strung out to finish the two week program.
I have a younger son still at home. I found a meth laden pipe in her bedroom across the hall and at that point I had to give her the ultimatum of rehab if she wanted to remain living in our home. She chose to leave and has been homeless ever since. It has been about 2.5 years now of parental hell.
Many things have happened along the way that I would have hoped would have been a turning point for Marina. At one point, Marina had a major staph infection on her back which required surgery. Marina could not refrain from using crystal meth for just one night and so the next day, they could not put her under general anesthesia. They had to perform the surgery using local.
She has slept in the most horrible of conditions. She has been thrown out of people’s homes. She has slept on bug infested porches. Marina has lived a life I couldn’t imagine in my worst nightmares.
When Marina’s boyfriend went to jail last year, she finally relented and made a deal with us. If we took her to visitation to see him, she would go to rehab. We were cautious that she would leave the program after she got to see him, but we were willing to jump on the opportunity. To our sheer joy, Marina started doing well. Really well! She started gaining weight and looking like our beautiful daughter again. I was beyond proud, beyond ecstatic. I thanked the Lord every day for giving my daughter back to me. Marina was finding pride in herself and even posted on Facebook that she felt better than she had in a very long time. But, Marina’s temper got the best of her and she was discharged for two days. That is when she relapsed. She went back to the program only to be discharged again while recovering from her recent binge. She has never gone back as much as I beg and plead her to.
Marina was arrested on shoplifting charges and was on probation as an adult. I thought now someone will hold her accountable. She did not do anything that probation required her to do and even skipped a court appearance. A warrant was issued for her. We were finally able to convince her to face the court and make things right. The court gave her another chance and she has still not done anything that probation has required her to do.
Marina lives in motel rooms and gets high. That is all that Marina does. Now there is an innocent baby involved and she has made that baby a meth addict against its will. She is five months along and barely showing. This week in jail is most likely the only time that baby has had a break from being fed crystal meth. There has never been an ultrasound or any tests done to know that the baby is even healthy. We have no idea of the condition of that poor innocent life.
But, underneath this disease is a kind, loving soul. A girl who befriended a special needs child in school because he was eating lunch alone. Marina is a girl who loves and cares for animals, and had big dreams. She has a family that loves her and is waiting to support her on the right path. She is not evil. She is beautiful and full of love and just really, really needs help. I am begging you. I am pleading you not to send her back out there - back to the motel rooms and the drugs. I am begging for your help in saving her and that poor innocent baby that I know she truly loves underneath this disease.
Please. You have the opportunity here to make a real difference. I beg you not to turn your back on her. The resources are there. They exist. Please, please help us.
Sincerely,
A very heartbroken mom

 

[BusynMember]

This is great. Made my eyes tear. Good luck.

 

[lovemysons]

Very nice letter PG.

I was especially moved by your daughter's heart for a special needs child and her love for animals.
Our children are beautiful loving human being's underneath their sub abuse.

It is my fervent hope and prayer that the Judge will see fit to offer...mandate Drug Rehab for your daughter and unborn grandchild.

We will all be with you in spirit!
Love,
LMS

 

[PatriotsGirl]

We will all be with you in spirit!

How I WISH I could have someone with me....just for support....

 

[recoveringenabler]

Heart-wrenching letter, I hope the court sees the truth and does something about it...........I'll be thinking about you today and sending you good thoughts..............just think of us all surrounding you with love as you address the court, we will be there in spirit...........

 

[lovemysons]

If I could make it to Georgia tomorrow I'd for sure be there in person. But,
You WILL find the confidence. You believe in what you are saying...as it IS the Truth!!!

Stay strong,
LMS

 

[DDD]

I understand wanting someone with you as it is a lonely and scarey presentation to make. Yes, I have been there done that. In the Courtroom the Judge heard all the cases except easy child/difficult child's and then announced that I had permission to speak. As I sat there waiting I saw so many kids called to the podium alone with only an overworked Public Defender attempting to pull out the correct file for each name. Some of the minority families had three or four people sitting there in support of their family member...praying silently and nodding or shaking their heads. The longer I sat the more confident I became and I was happy not to have the distraction of companionship. You are speaking from your heart
just as you are speaking the truth. Do make sure to not quickly read. Look at the Judge occasionally, Read/speak as you would with an acquaintance or friend...slowly, sincerely and with some visual contact. Give it your best shot
and then remember the Serenity Prayer. I will be sending loving, caring, supportive thoughts your way. DDD

PS: In our Court system you have to request permission to speak before the Court day begins and I doubt that any movement (such as getting on your knees) would be allowed as it is a nontraditional stance. Verbally you could reference it but I advise not really taking that action as it could be seen diffrently than you hope. Hugs.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

DDD - do I call the courts today and ask or do I wait until I show up tomorrow? This is my one shot and I want to do it right. Thank you so much for your advice!!!!!

 

[Calamity Jane]

Beautiful letter, PG. I agree with DDD for you to refrain from getting on your knees at the end, and to read slowly. If you find yourself rushing, just breathe and slow down. If you feel like the letter is too long to read slowly to the judge, then edit it a bit for the most impact.
I wish you all the best outcome tomorrow.

 

[DDD]

I called the Judge's office and spoke to his secretary. I explained that I was requesting permission in advance to address the Judge in the Courtroom on behalf of my son based on his special circumstance. She replied matter of factly that Judge X would review my written request if I faxed or hand delivered it the day before Court. He did not announce that he would allow me to do so until midway through the docket when easy child/difficult child's name was called. Then the Judge announced that case would be heard last as a family member had permission to speak. We were called last. I would make contact asap. I'm doubtful that Court days have unexpected deviations. Fingers crossed. DDD

 

[AnnieO]

I will be there with you in spirit as well... This letter is beautiful...

 

[toughlovin]

PG great letter...brought tears to me eyes! I think you should call the clerks office and ask what you need to do to be heard. Or you may want to call the prosecutor and see what they are thinking?

TL

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I did call the court and was told that I needed to talk to the prosecuting attorney who is the woman I spoke with on Friday that delivered the news that they would not be ordering rehab.

So, I called and left her a voicemail stating that I have written a letter that I would like to read to the judge tomorrow morning.

Hopefully she calls back today. I had no idea that I had to ask permission... if they don't grant permission, everything has been lost and everything has been for nothing. It still may be for nothing, but I have to try...

 

[DDD]

Did you call the Judge's office or the Court office? Reading your answer I had a "flashback" to our Court days because the State's Attorneys called the shots and the Judge almost always agreed with their decision. Try to speak directly with the Judge's secretary. Explain that you believe there are special circumstances that Judge X will be, you hope, interested in.
IF she agrees to accept your letter and share with the Judge ask her if you should fax or deliver a courtesy copy to the DA.

The system is a "good ole boy system" and in my humble opinion most Judges just rubberstamp the recommendation they are given by the Prosecution. Our Public Defender was shocked when I faxed him my letter of request to the Judge. The time in Court was not argumentative but it was not a tea party. Try one more time if there is a chance that you got diverted to the wrong people. I'm on your side and do understand your pain. DDD

 

[everywoman]

This letter just broke my heart!!!! Luckily, or not, I live in a small town where I know the judges and prosecutors and law enforcement officials personally. I always just called and asked to speak to the judge...usually to make sure that consequences were set for whatever actions had occured.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I don't know which judge she will appear in front of....how would I find that out?

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I re-wrote a couple of sections:

Your Honor -

Marina has been a crystal meth addict for at least five years that we know about. Crystal meth has taken absolutely everything from Marina. She was expelled from high school in tenth grade for trying to sell drugs via text messages. She was on probation as a juvenile and failed many drug tests. Still they would not order rehab.
I thought as a minor, that I as her parent could order rehab. I soon found out that while she was indeed a minor, she was above the age of medical consent and no rehab would take her against her will unless it was court ordered. This left me powerless. After I received a text from her telling me she wanted to die, I had her admitted to Summit Ridge and they kept her nine days. I later had her admitted to Laurelwood and they only kept her for two days.
I tried to fill her time with other things – more positive activities. I signed her up to get her GED (which she received) and I tried to get her into college. She was too strung out to do well on any entrance exam. Later, even after she left home, I tried signing her up for bartender’s school in hopes that it would help her get a job. She was too strung out to finish the two week program.
I have a younger son still at home. I found a meth laden pipe in her bedroom across the hall and at that point I had to give her the ultimatum of rehab if she wanted to remain living in our home. She chose to leave and has been homeless ever since. It has been about 2.5 years now.
Many things have happened along the way that I would have hoped would have been a turning point for Marina. She lost her beloved dog. She has been thrown out of people’s homes. She has slept on bug infested porches. At one point, Marina had a major staph infection on her back which required surgery. Marina could not refrain from using crystal meth for just one night and so the next day, they could not put her under general anesthesia. They had to perform the surgery using local.
At just 19 years old, Marina has lived a life I couldn’t imagine in my worst nightmares.
When Marina’s boyfriend went to jail last year, she finally relented and made a deal to go to rehab. If I took her to visitation to see him, she would go to rehab. We were cautious that she would leave the program after she got to see him, but we were willing to jump on the opportunity. To our sheer joy, Marina started doing well. Really well! She started gaining weight and looking like our beautiful daughter again. I was beyond proud, beyond ecstatic. I thanked the Lord every day for giving my daughter back to me. Marina was finding pride in herself and even posted on Facebook that she felt better than she had in a very long time. But, Marina’s mental health issues and her temper got the best of her. Consequently, she was discharged for two days. That is when she relapsed. She went back to the program only to be discharged again while recovering from her recent binge. She has never gone back as much as I beg and plead her to.
Marina was arrested on shoplifting charges and was put on probation as an adult. I thought now someone will hold her accountable. She did not do anything that probation required her to do and even skipped a court appearance. A warrant was issued for her. We were finally able to convince her to face the court and make things right. The court gave her another chance and she has still not done anything that probation has required her to do.
Marina lives in motel rooms and gets high. That is what Marina does now every day. Now there is an innocent baby involved and she has made that baby a meth addict against its will. She is five months along and barely showing. This week in jail is most likely the only time that baby has had a break from being fed crystal meth. There has never been an ultrasound or any tests done to know that the baby is even healthy. We have no idea of the condition of that poor innocent life.
But, underneath this disease is a kind, loving soul. A girl who befriended a special needs child in school because he was eating lunch alone. A girl who always stuck up for the underdog and made me cry tears of pride and joy. Marina is a girl who loves and cares for animals, and had big dreams. She never dreamed of becoming a meth addict. Marina has a family that loves her so much and has been waiting to support her on the right path. She is not evil. She is beautiful and full of love to give. She just really, really desperately needs help. I am begging you. I am pleading you not to send her back out there - back to the motel rooms and the drugs. I am begging for your help in saving her and that poor innocent baby that I know she does love underneath this disease.
Please. A lot of people say that you need to wait until the addict hits bottom. But a lot of people agree that intervention works, too. I feel that this is our chance. This is Marina’s intervention. Marina has proven over and over that she cannot do this alone. You have the opportunity to make a real difference and save lives. I beg you not to turn your back on her. The resources are there. They exist. Please help us.
Sincerely,
A very heartbroken mom

 

[PatriotsGirl]

The prosecuting attorney just called me back and said there should be no issue with my reading that in the courtroom - I copied and pasted the letter on an email to both her and the court solicitor and she told me that she read it. She forwarded that email to the Coordinator of the Treatment Court. She agrees that Marina needs help and is waiting to hear back from the Coordinator if they are going to accept difficult child. I told her anything less than rehab simply won't work and I think after reading that letter, she agrees.

So, hopefully, tomorrow will be a good day... please keep those prayers coming and those beads rattling!!!!

 

[toughlovin]

Oh good I am so glad...you are a wonderful mom!

TL

 

[Nancy]

I am sending good thought that the judge hears you and does the right thing in ordering her into treatment.

I am amazed at your strength and resolve PG.