letting others know you have a difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, May 23, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I posted about this a while ago. we never told any coaches about difficult child's diagnosis, and watched from the side as they would try to comfort, or talk to difficult child, only to see him lose control. The more they tried to talk the worse he would become, causing frustration for everyone.
    This year I chose (against husband's wishes) to tell his baseball coach about his diagnosis. Told him if difficult child gets upset, best to just leave him alone to regroup and then re-join. He was grateful for the information stating many times they don't know how to approach kids that are frustrated and angry.
    Last nights game (first time it happened)difficult child struck out. He has been handling that very good, except last night. He was so angry we could see him whip off his helmet and we were holding our breath. His team took the field, no difficult child. He was in the dugout alone. Next inning he was back in the game as if nothing happened. Happy. Talked to the coach after. He said he didn't say anything. When difficult child came into the dug out he threw his helmet down and sat at the end alone. Coach didn't say a word to him just sent someone else in. AFter that inning, difficult child had regained control and was fine. I am very happy I told him. We will talk to difficult child about keeping it together but knowing how it is handled now takes a lot of weight off all our shoulders.
  2. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Yay for difficult child for being able to pull it together all on his own!!!!! That had to feel good for all involved- no confrontation! That's awesome!!!
  3. CCRidr2

    CCRidr2 Sheena-Warrior Momma

    :bravo: difficult child for getting under control by yourself!!

    :bravo: Mom for telling coach how to handle him!!

    Sounds like you did the right thing! We have not gotten our difficult child into organized sports for just this reason. He has meltdowns when we play as a family at the ball field.

    This gives me hope that eventually he WILL be able to play!

    Thanks for sharing, it's always nice to hear about difficult child's triumphs!


  4. branbran

    branbran New Member

    Great news. That is awesome. The coach sounds like a class act. And good for your son, he kept his cool and was able to re-group and go back out there. Fantastic!!!!!!
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    That is really fantastic.

    Now if only the teachers would cooperate in such a way...
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Awesome! :bravo:
  7. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    That is wonderful news !!! I so understand how great it must have felt when he pulled it together and continued with the game. :bravo: :bravo:
  8. On_Call

    On_Call New Member


    Sounds like difficult child really did a great job of turning things around on his own - and the Coach deserves a medal for being understanding, too! Good for you.

    We have always taken the need to know approach with those around difficult child. If it became obvious they didn't know how to deal with difficult child, we told them as much of what was going on that we felt we needed to in order to make it a more positive experience for everyone.

    difficult child used to play both little league and soccer - in fact, he did both right up until last summer. We got pretty good at reading difficult child's frustration level and the coach's level of tolerance, etc. and acted accordingly. difficult child has chosen to skip little league (too competitive at his age level - he hates that!) and soccer this year in order to concentrate on karate all summer.

    Karate Master is fully aware of difficult child's diagnosis and issues. In the past six months, difficult child has missed a few practices and was hospitalized twice (30 days each), so we felt we had to tell him the entire story and stress to him how much karate had become a positive thing in difficult child's life. He has sent encouraging notes and cards signed by entire local karate group to difficult child in the hospital both times. He has been very understanding and encouraging to both difficult child and to us as a family.

    Some adults working with kids get it and some don't.

    Glad your coach does!! Should be an enjoyable season!!

    PS: High 5 to difficult child for coming around and finishing out the game!! :smile: