LMS...how's it going?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Mar 30, 2014.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm eager to hear an update (if you are up to it) but meanwhile I am sending loving and caring support your way. DDD
  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Good Morning DDD! ;-)
    Always so nice to hear from you.

    Well...where to begin?
    A few weeks ago, difficult child turned himself into Jail for 3 days for a warrant he says he had for no Insurance ticket he received last year. Then...

    I made some calls to difficult child's Mother in law's house and spoke with mother in law and she told me an interesting thing. She said that daughter in law had gone to pick up a rx for xanax and that 24 out of 30 pills were missing and that daughter in law said she "took some and shared some with a friend". mother in law also stated that she did NOT want me to tell daughter in law or difficult child that she and I had talked...said, "I don't want to get in trouble". OH MY. I told my husband that she needs a MAN in her house. She (mother in law) has no backbone in her own home. It is so sad.

    Soooo...after I found out about the xanax that apparently Young difficult child and daughter in law took. I then get a frantic text (from daughter in law)that Saturday morning that young difficult child is in the hospital and is "temporarily partially paralyzed" due to his back. I had no access to a car that morning and could not go to the hospital but did speak with mother in law again and she let me know that daughter in law brought young difficult child back to her house and that he seemed "well enough to walk in the door".

    SInce I did not JUMP when daughter in law called me about the "temporary paralysation", daughter in law has only texted me briefly to let me know how serious this was and how upset she was that I wasn't there.

    Now...moving forward, lol. Young difficult child is supposibly starting a job today that will take him to Missouri and then flying out to California. He has been by twice this past week to pick up his birth certificate docs and DD214 (military discharge paperwork that I held for him). He was frantically trying to get ahold of $$ the past couple of days (through me of course) for tools he says he needs....but I have been on the go.

    My mom just had catarac surgery in her left eye and so I took care of her for a couple of days...OH, and the night before her surgery, she and I went to see Cher in concert. My mom and I have been trying to repair what was a fairly broken down relationship. We have been in therapy for a few months now...and it is helping. The nice thing too is that our therapist is well-versed in addition and gives me very good suggestions on how to handle things with young difficult child.

    Meanwhile...easy child was supposed to graduate this yr but because she lost her scholarship after her Junior yr and moved back home to attend local University...she lost some credits. So that means that easy child will likely graduated next yr. easy child is still dating a very nice 28 yr old who aspires to be a Neurologist. She is also going to finish Massage Therapy school (that she attends class for at night) sometime in August and then wants to finish her Bachelors and then perhaps take a yr off to work on a cruise ship as a Massage Therapist and travel some.
    Whatever she wants to do I am sure she will go far.

    Oldest difficult child...he and his wife had a Birthday party for their 4 yr old. Yes...sadly I say "their" instead "my grandchild". As you may have noticed from previous posts, I do not have much of a relationship with any of oldest difficult child's 3 daughters. It is very sad. Distance is a factor...but so is emotional distance.
    What happend the other day is that oldest difficult child does not know that easy child has been dating young men recently (as opposted to young women) so Oldest difficult child is self riteous and judgemental...inflicting punishment on easy child. easy child, you see, was not invited to the party. So husband said if she is not invited we are not going either. Oldest difficult child thinks that if he overprotects and isolates his little family that they will be "safe" in the end I guess. But we all know that's not necessarily how life works, huh.

    So all in all things are not "bad" here...but could certainly be better! Young difficult child is at the top today as he starts this new job. Sigh...but you know about that darned roller coaster ride!

    How are you doing anyway? How is easy child/difficult child? I say prayers for you guys almost every night.
    Love to you,
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Lordy, Lordy. How to heck did he get an out of town job when he has been incarcerated or hospitalized for most of the past two years? Sounds dubious...but I'll cross my fingers. Sigh.

    easy child/difficult child and his SO are primarily "doing their own thing" this past month. The three of us were in my office and SO stepped on my last nerve. It's not easy to find that nerve, lol. I've only lost my temper outloud four times in almost 74 years and I was fearful that I might "blow". So...I opted to suggest that I drive them home and let them find ways to earn money other than working for me or my company. Was it Archie Bunker who used to say "stifle it" to Edith? I kept repeating that phrase and the Serenity Prayer during the drive.

    We have seen him twice this month. I texted him to come by and say "hello" to his Grandad and the response was "We are really busy lately but we will stop by as soon as we can." Good Grief!
    He told me a few days later that his SO was answering and responding to the texts lately. Yikes. DDD
  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    True DDD,
    Young difficult child was in Prison for most of 2012 and then the last 6 months or so he has been "hospital hopping" but he did work for his brother (oldest difficult child) when he was initially released from prison in December 2012 til around July 2013.
    He has experience with Fire Alarm low voltage cabling.
    So far he is "still working". Thought he was headed to California after Missouri but I guess that plan didn't work out as he is now in Oklahoma. He did end up at the Dr's of course while working in Mo...claimed he was throwing up blood. He said the Dr's told him it was a bleeding ulcer. It's ALWAYS something with him isn't it! He is the definition of a Hypochondriac! I have NEVER known anyone to have as many ailments as he has. We are constantly getting hospital/ER bills in the mail. Of course young difficult child is asking for money to be sent to him as he claims he spent $100 at the Dr's and has no money for food. I told him he should borrow some money from his co-worker and pay him back as soon as he gets a check. My therapist says he will say anything for more money. And anything we give him...will NOT be enough. sigh.

    You are a Saint DDD! Only lost your temper 4 times in the past 74 years!!! That's amazing!!! And you had 6 kids? WOW. But it does sound like SO is a control freak big time.
    Maybe it's the age difference between easy child/difficult child and SO that allows her to "take the reigns" so to speak.

    I hope you are doing well despite the annoyance.
    Hugs and love,
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LMS, that is so true. My difficult child always has a reason for needing more money and is a hypochondriac, also. I think that they went to the same difficult child school.

    I am glad to hear that you are in therapy and rebuilding a relationship with your mom. You are sounding very strong these days. Good for you!