LMS...you ok?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Feb 7, 2014.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Seems like you have been out of touch for awhile and I just want to you to know I'm thinking of you and yours. DDD
     
  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    You are so kind DDD.
    I am okay...though I just woke up from a horrible nightmare involving heroin and a bomb coming towards a school and I was trying to save everyone...sheesh!

    See my hours have been off lately and I end up getting up around 3:30 am and staying awake to visit with husband then, after morning chores, going back to bed and sleeping til close to 10 or 11am.

    I spoke with young difficult child last night after he made a "collect call" to my cell phone and left message for me to call him back as he was supposed to be recording his name on the message.

    He has now gotten involved with a 37 yr old gal in the state psychiatric hospital. He says that he wants to be with her when he gets out. She was in their with severe depression and borderline personality disorder. Just wonderful...great fit!
    She apparently has a 10 yr old daughter and currently lives with her parents. She has been visiting young difficult child since she got out of the hospital. Her ex supposibly OD'd on Heroin after stealing money out of her purse...hence the severe depression.

    I don't know if young difficult child was manic or just "in love". He was very excited telling me about this gal and his "plans" for when he is released. He says that a social worker may have him in a place by next week. Oh, and he was also very excited to tell me how he passed an IQ test with flying colors. They told young difficult child that he has ALOT of potential. Of course husband and I have always known that.

    So...new worries.
    Does it ever end.
    Hugs and love to you DDD.
    I keep you guys in my prayers and think of you often too.
    You doing okay? Haven't seen an update on easy child/difficult child in awhile either. I assume that he is enjoying his new house with his older SO. by the way, what is it about our son's hooking up with these much older women?
    LMS
     
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I haven't updated on easy child/difficult child on purpose....I just can't seem to wrap my head around the situation. It is difficult to say the least. The "older woman" match is (in our case) very hard to accept as truthfully she is ignorant, vulgar, and instable. It causes pain in my heart because he has such a vulnerable nature and there is only so much I can say. Sigh!
    She is not evil but she is totally "wrong" for easy child/difficult child. As of this date she is feeding him false info that "when" they marry she can be named as in charge of his custodial care and "their income" will increase. He does not need anyone as his "custodian" and she is 100& capable of getting another job and contributing to their houseshold. It is a major problem and I am tightrope walking. Sigh. Thanks for caring. The latest is that her children want him to adopt them so he can have his name. WTH! Hmm..my friend you shouldn't have asked, LOL! DDD
     
  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    It's unfortunate that she's not a good match for easy child/difficult child. I know he has a good heart and it bothers me that she sounds like she is trying to take advantage of him. I know it must really irk you!

    I'll bet you are forced to bite that tongue on a regular basis.
    I'm sorry,
    LMS
     
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    My computer is on the fritz and my response got lost. Sigh!
    I have not updated on easy child/difficult child because it is unsettling for me. His older SO is controlling, vulgar and trying to figure out how she can get easy child/difficult child to marry her and she can be designated as his "caregiver" by SSA. OMG! It is beyond hard lately. Meanwhile, easy child/difficult child refers to "his family" as he loves kids and she has a teenage girl and an elementary age son who are nice kids because their Grandparents have raised them...they come to visit at his house on alternate weekends. The whole scene is a bit "far out" and I am having difficulty coping. Without a minutes' hesitation she comes out with sentences like " once we buy our weed for the week it is hard to save up the money for the electric bill". Yep.......it's a WTH or OMG situation. I pray! DDD
     
  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    ((((LMS to DDD))))

    It is unsettling.
    We do alot of praying around here don't we!
    And SHEESH...she's got her "priorities"...sigh.

    Hang in there DDD,
    You are much loved and you give so much of yourself to others. I can only imagine the blood sweat and tears you have poured out in raising ALL of your children.

    Sometimes as I read the board I just want to gather all the difficult child's in one room and have a "come to Jesus" meeting! They make me so mad sometimes.
    I know your difficult child is in special circumstances but still I just wish that so many of us didn't go through so much hurt over their decisions.

    WE love you DDD...everyone on the board does.
    And you're a strong woman...I admire you greatly.
    LMS
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks, LMS. Your question just jump started a frustration rant on my part. The car he bought last year with-o discussing it with me in advance, sigh, was her "dream car". easy child/difficult child was able to call USAA and finance it directly because he is an adult and eligible because of our family. He financed it for FIVE years and the engine blew yesterday. That got me on edge for sure because she quit her job in September? or so and isn't looking for work. We can't and won't contribute any more $$$'s. It's going to be mighty stressful. Don't worry I haven't forgotten The Serenity Prayer....I just hoped I wouldn't need to repeat it so often. Hugs DDD
     
  8. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Definitely hear you about the Serenity prayer! And am sure hoping easy child/difficult child and SO have a bike! (my attempt at humor).

    Oh DDD,
    Today I called young difficult child at state psychiatric hospital...because I love him. And you know what he told me? "Your love won't feed me".

    I am so tired of being tired. So tired of being USED. It isn't just the drugs with our kids it's the whole enititlement Use YOU mindset that makes me crazy! How long are we supposed to nurse them? How long are we supposed to pick up the pieces of their lives? How many guilt trips will they try and take us on?

    I am feeling stronger at the moment and hoping you are too. At some point we really have to let them lie in their own poop! Right?

    Hugs and love to you as always,
    LMS
    ps...My young difficult child will be 25 next week. Not so young anymore.
     
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    March will bring 27.......goodness grief! I hear what you are saying AND I know that our difficult child's are mighty lucky to have such loving support. Like you, however, I wish to heck it had proven to be helpful. Night, my friend. DDD
     
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