Hello all... I really like the "soft landing" logo of this forum. Right now I feel like I am at my wits end. The main reason is my niece who has been living with us for a couple of years and is, sorry to say, the one who is causing all my anxiety at this time. I would have thought she would have learned quicker, but she remembers nothing from one day to the next, one experience to the next. Example: Our pastor absolutely hates gum chewing during service. She was called out once a few months ago in an extremely embarrassing situation. Sunday I caught her chewing during service; when I spoke to her about it, she had totally forgotten the embarrassing situation. She lies at the drop of a hat to everyone, specially me. She is mean to some girls at school who have gotten on her nerves, saying mean things and has even physically attacked one of them by pinching and hitting. I realize these girls are not nice to her, but her reactions are out of control. I am going to counseling with this child on the 9th, but really needed to let off some steam. We went to the band banquet on Saturday. I am the secretary. During this time, I had to endure three different issues in one night due to this child. The first, two girls with whom she is having continuous issues came to tell me she had called them the "B" word and at scholl had called them "stripper" (go figure). I told these girls that they needed to help JTW (my niece, 13 going on 14) learn how to be a good friend as she had never had friends before (true statement). Then I confronted my niece who lied straight out. I told her I had witnesses, and she finally told me the truth. All without a shred of remorse. Is this normal? My other kids DO NOT act, and have not ever acted, this way (19-boy, 14, 12), yet my girlfriend says this is typical JR high girl behaviour, that they are all mean and vindictive. What is going on here? Do I live in such a bubble world? She then asked a number of adults if she could use their phone to call her "boyfriend" of a week because I would not let her use mine. #1 she NEVER asked. When I confronted, she said "I thought you would not want me to." ARGH! by the way, this boyfriend is none other than the younger child's (12 year old) best friend (this one is a boy). Another sore point... I am hoping counseling will work, but it is getting hard to be civil. I have seen actual parents get to this point, so I do not think it is only because she is my niece; I think it because I cannot tolerate this kind of behaviour. My oldest son (19) and I have gone nose to nose until he adjusted his behaviour, but this was before she ever got to our house. Thanks for listening, I am hoping the counseling will help! I will post and let you know I feel better letting this out in this kind of a forum. I think my friends are tired of me complaining!