Lost it...

[Malika]

Well, I just lost it with the school assistant who complained about me to the mayor's office because J wouldn't listen to me and come with me after school on two occasions, and because he hit me during his meltdown... I tried to express my great frustration that
1) The principal was told of J's diagnosis last summer and did nothing, told no-one
2) After a week in which he receives no accommodations or special interventions, and is doubtless stressed and exhausted, he had a meltdown during which he hit me because I am the person he trusts.
She just looked at me with this kind of mocking expression on her face, as if I were a lunatic in an asylum, and kept saying things like "IF he has this hyperactivity" and "you understand, it's not normal for a child to hit the parent, I had to tell my employers (the mayor's office)" until, well... I just lost it. Started almost shouting at her in the street. Not good.
I just cannot believe people can be this stupid and this lacking in compassion/understanding.
Meantime I have let my house to a British woman, initially for 6 months, from 1 May... Escape beckons. But I'm sorry it's all worked out like this.

 

[Bunny]

I'm really sorry that it's come to this for you and for J. Where will you go?

 

[DDD]

I'm sorry but glad that your neuro/psychiatric will be complete before you relocate. Hugs DDD

 

[buddy]

Oh gosh, but Malika, she was so wrong.

I'm sorry it hasn't worked out, but the decision's made. At least that wrestling match in your head is over. Now, where to go. What do parents on the French ADHD board say?

 

[tiredmommy]

Her arrogance is astounding. I'm sorry she pushed you so far.

 

[HaoZi]

I'm amazed at your restraint. I'd have lost it on her long before now. In greater measure.

 

[ThreeShadows]

Malika, I realize that you are a peace loving buddhist, however I am happy that you lost it with this chameau, she really deserved it!

 

[Liahona]

Your patience in trying to educate those around you has been astounding. I don't know how you kept from yelling at them for so long.

 

[Malika]

Thanks all. I fear that the only person who suffered from my outburst of anger was me... she just looked at me with this mocking/contemptuous expression on her face when I was losing it, seemed in no way affected by it... honestly, their lives and their vision must be SO narrow to think that all children have to behave with perfect decorum all the time, that she can in no way understand or accept that J was expressing his anger and frustration at the way he is treated on me. Stupid. Arrogant, yes.

At the moment, I am thinking to find an alternative school for J here in France and then go to Morocco for four months. There are lots of possibilities for him to carry on learning how to read in French there.

I met the nice assistant in the street last night, told her we are leaving and that I am going to find an alternative school for J. She said she was sorry it had worked out that way for us, that the school had disappointed us, but that a different kind of school would be right and better for J, she could see that. Only thing now is.... I have to find it!

 

[BusynMember]

Malika, you haven't REALLY lost it until a teacher confides in your child that, "There are ten teachers that never want to talk to your mother again." I did get what I wanted for my kids though, and you are doing in my opinion what is right for your little guy and yourself. It must be stressful to live with busybodies and those who feel they know it all. Change is hard, even for some adults, but this may be exactly the medicine both of you need!

 

[Steely]

Many hugs...I know how hard this must be for you. Evidently they are not the ones to give J the education he deserves. I wish you all the best in finding him a new place that offers understanding and compassion.

 

[susiestar]

(((((hugs)))))

I am glad you told her off, even if it changes nothing in her addle-pated, smallminded, unable to think logically cranial organ (it sure isn't a brain, cause if she had a brain she could understand logic, Know what I mean??).

I hope you find a better option for J, and that he is much happier in a new school. I know how bad it can get when the teachers and staff all decide it is not their problem, that it is a 'bad' kid, and that you are to blame rather than their inflexibility. When he is in the right setting, you will be shocked at how much better life will be for both of you.