Maybe a sign of maturing?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Apr 19, 2011.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    husband, difficult child, and I went out of town this weekend. easy child/difficult child apparently thought this would be a good time to hold a party-not good! Her door to her bedroom ended up with a hole in it. Even though she doesn't drink (I have many reasons to believe this) some of the kids did have beer and got drunk (beer cans found in the recycling bin).

    At first she was very unapologetic and didn't feel she did anything wrong. I told her I wasn't perfect when I was younger and explained why we don't want her having parties at our house (#1 we don't want anyone hurt and #2 we would be held liable).

    She told us not to worry she wouldn't be having any more parties and started to cry. I asked what was wrong (easy child/difficult child does not easily cry and has a very tough exterior). She was upset with herself and called herself stupid. She says she never learns. Her camera and her ipod and something else were stolen. (in Nov her computer was stolen at school) She said we should not have to pay for things that she ends up losing.

    Then she showed me 5 or 6 completed job applications. She said she is trying to do the right thing and wants to get a job so she can buy her own things.

    I told her while we were very upset about the party I was very proud that she had ideas on how to fix it. She even let me hug her while she was crying-it's been the longest time since she let me hug her.

    She's asked me to drive her to places to drop off job applications. This is seriously the first time she has shown an interest in any type of job.

    I'm crossing my fingers this is a sign of good things to come!
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Wow! That's all a very good sign and it does sound like she's accepted responsiblity for her situation and the consequences for her choices and actions! You have a lot to be proud of in her :)
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm really glad that she's taken responsibility but, geez!, I got tears in my eyes when reading how much she beats herself up. I think there's an incredibly vulnerable young woman behind that tough exterior.
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'd call it progress. :D
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon, that's a wonderful step for easy child/difficult child. To take responsibility & then to take steps to fix the problem. Very cool.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'd say a big step toward maturing. Yeah, easy child/difficult child. DDD
  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    MOST definitely progress!!!
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    Very encouraging that she is learning from some of her mistakes. This is what we all pray for. That they learn from them while they're still living at home and we have some control over the consequences. I'm glad she let you hug her!
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds good to me!
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gvcmom-Thanks, I am proud of her right now.

    TM-I agree on the inside she is very vulnerable (it is so hard to break through that tough exterior). I was also very sad to see her be so hard on herself.

    HaoZi-Yep-it has to be progress for her!

    Linda-Thanks-I agree it was a huge step for her to try to fix things!

    DDD and Patriot's Girl-Thanks!

    ML-It felt very good to hug her!


    The weather was so awful yesterday that we couldn't go out so she has asked me if I would take her Friday (she went to Chicago with husband today and tomorrow we were suppose to be gone so she asked about Friday) which to me is a good sign!
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    That? Is. AMAZING. I'm not sure which I would have enjoyed more - probably the hug. But to come up with your own solutions! Some nice friends huh? Grrrr.

    I think that's a big step towards maturity. Hope she gets a great job!