Maybe I'm part evil - to collectors anyhow?

[Mattsmom277]

So I should have had my student loans forgiven under a medical loan forgiveness program since I am now disabled and not working and out of school beyond the required period of time etc. Yet the program fails to provide me the proper forms or process them etc so it's been in limbo for years.

I think my account has been resold several times to different collection agencies. I believe now it is with a agency that buys them super cheap due to high risk (of never collecting). So the calls started up again recently. The guy was such a PIA. He was so ignorant and he broke all kinds of laws actually that pertain to collections. Anyhow, i was nice the first few calls in spite of his illegal threats, lies, and abusive dialogue. Now? Not so nice. Quite evil actually.

First call after I decided I'd had enough of him went like this:

Patrick (His first name): Is this Melissa xxx
Me: Hi Patrick! You must really like you since you call so often, I am thrilled! What you wanna do to kill time this call? Music, hang on! (At which point I cranked a t.v. channel that scrolls news but plays music, they were playing Ghostbusters lol). Put the phone down by the t.v speaker and walked away. Hung it up about 15 minutes later (I could hear him typing on his keyboard so he stayed on the line the whole time!!!

Next call:

P: Is this Melissa xxx
Me: It's you again! Was just thinking of you!!! I was reading this book and had nobody to with about it. If I give you the title will you read it so we can talk about it in your next call?
P: Insert litany of verbal abuse at a few decibals above normal
M: Well Patrick, I'm HURT that you'd speak to me like that. I thought we were friends. you are NOT my friend. THen I hung up phone.

Today's call

P: Melissa xxx Please
Me: Patrick, you said you were my friend but then you talked so mean! My feelings are hurt and if you're going to talk like that again I'll hang up again because I'm a people too ya know!
P: (Aggravated tone) Ms. XXX, this is going too far. We want money
Me: *SIGH* Don't we all Patrick? I mean really, you probably want money too. Good luck with that. Then I hung up

5 minutes later

P: Ms. XXX you need to beg borrow or steal if thats what it takes and be a productive member of society so you can have your pride back
Me: READ MY LIPS PATRICK : ME NO HAVE NO MONNN EEEE YYYY! None, nada, nope. Got NONE! So you get NONE. I tried to be nice, tried to explain, tried to ask AGAIN for the loan forgiveness paperwork. Nothing but your abuse. If you call again we'll have to find out what music works for both of us.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Shari]

love it

 

[Mom2oddson]

I'm sorry that you are going thru all of this, but you gave me a good laugh! I applaud your creativity. Hope you are able to resolve this soon. But, for future reference, my kids couldn't stand bluegrass music. So anytime I wanted to get my house clean without them underfoot, I'd play bluegrass and they'd disappear until the music was off. Try bluegrass with Patrick, It might scare him off for a while.

 

[KTMom91]

I have answered the phone in Spanish (I remember just enough from high school to be dangerous), and I somehow got off their collections list. I was telling them about the weather, my aunt's crocodile, and purple pants, but hey, whatever works. I have Miss KT answer in German, and she usually discusses food and skiing conditions. Really shakes the collectors up!

 

[AnnieO]

Sigh... I'm glad I don't get many collection calls. I did get them for husband (marital bills, BM supposed to pay and never did)... One of them told me he knew where we lived and gave me details about the account after I told him I wasn't husband!!! Il-le-gal, anyone?! So I told him as much and that I was going to report him, and not to call again... And... It was my cell phone, so that company got a nasty complaint filed and somehow subsequently quit calling entirely... Come to find out they closed the account as uncollectable... They were looking for $300. COME ON, people!

 

[PatriotsGirl]

LOVE it!!!! Hilarious!!!!!

 

[donna723]

I love it to! If you run out of ideas, next time trying selling him something! Don't let him get a word in edgewise! Kids selling magazine subscriptions or cookie dough for school? Hit him up with a sales pitch! Or try to convert him to a different religion and offer to send him some literature and tracts. Or talk to him like you're a totally crazy person ... tell him about how you're making little hats out of aluminum foil for all your relatives and friends for Christmas so the aliens can't read their minds or pick up on their brain waves and offer to make him one too since he's such a good friend!

 

[Mattsmom277]

I like the tin foil hat thing LOL.

I've got some opera downloaded to my computer, I was thinking of singing along too one of these days.

I'm going to ask for his office address so I can send him a Christmas card, plan to tell him I've got nobody to send cards to so he's THE list.

I thought of asking him if he minds, since obviously he has time to WASTE (if he's trying to get money from me, its a total waste of time) if he would mind looking online for a local (to me) consumer protection advocacy agency.

I've got a few ideas in my wicked mind.

I feel kind of bad, I mean he's doing a job but he's doing it illegally and with such ignorance! I do owe the money, I have told him I GET THAT. HOWEVER, the loan forgiveness was created for exactly my personal situation and since they won't send me the forms, I figure they are fair game if they call me with a nasty attitude!

 

[Hound dog]

Evil? Maybe. But then there are times when I'm good with Evil.

I don't speak with collection calls. I pick up the phone. I hang up the phone. There is no conversing. lol

I don't argue. I no longer explain. They never hear it anyway. I pick up the phone. I hang up the phone. Simple. It is what caller ID is for.

Last time I attempted to answer such a call the guy was rude, vulgar, somewhat pornographic (don't ask), illegal out the wazoo, and told me I should starve my children to pay a 5 dollar lab fee that would have been paid by our insurance if the stupid doctor office had processed it correctly. Of course this was after 2 straight years of dealing with such people and their rudeness ect and I'd had it up to my eyeballs. I ripped him a new one so bad that he was left utterly speechless.........then I demanded to talk to his supervisor. When he hung up on me, I called the number on the caller ID and demanded to speak with a supervisor. Then I ripped the supervisor a new one so bad HE was left speechless, then I announced I would be seeing a lawyer in the morning over all the laws they broke as well as for harassment charges as they'd called me non stop all day long for MONTHS and I had caller ID and an answering machine to prove it in court.

I never got another call from them. Three years later when I had the money to actually pay the bill (doctor never did correct the mistake with insurance) it had passed through like ten other collection agencies. lol Stupid bill got paid. When I had the money to pay it. duh

 

[1905]

You are so funny!!! Maybe you could put on some music and sing loudly!

 

[Mattsmom277]

My wicked offspring suggested I alter the lyrics to Gramma got run over by a reindeer to Patrick got run over by a reindeer. HAHAHAHA!

I was thinking I might school him in some great silly Christmas music ... perhaps the song about the evil Grinch that stole Christmas lol

 

[Lothlorien]

I just hit the fax button. I also went through some of the numbers and blocked them through my phone carrier. Phone has been so much quieter now.

 

[HaoZi]

I feel kind of bad, I mean he's doing a job but he's doing it illegally and with such ignorance! I do owe the money, I have told him I GET THAT. HOWEVER, the loan forgiveness was created for exactly my personal situation and since they won't send me the forms, I figure they are fair game if they call me with a nasty attitude!

NEVER NEVER say such to a collection agency. Do not admit to anything, do not give any info, nada. In anything, tell him it was ALREADY forgiven and you've been looking for the paperwork to prove it (he can't prove differently) not get it forgiven. Wave around that many state attorney generals' offices love to go after harassing callers.

 

[HaoZi]

One of my friends used to get calls like this for her brother's girlfriend (they had lived with them for a time). girlfriend shared the same name with a dog my friend used to have, so she said with every bit of honesty and sadness that X had died due to injuries sustained in a car accident. Calls stopped. Dog had been gone for years by then.