Malika
Well-Known Member
Short summary of events: J went to a birthday celebration at a children's farm this afternoon - animals to see and touch, a tractor ride, birthday tea (including cake and pancakes). The parents left the children there for the two hours. When I went to pick J up, he was sitting quietly next to the birthday boy (one of his special friends) watching the opening of the presents - shortly after, though (as always when he sees me), he started to get a bit manic, insisting on other kids going outside to play, hugging a little boy (another of his buddies) and saying he wanted to take him home, that kind of thing. Anyway, I decide it's better we go, he thanks the boy and his mother nicely, we go out. He goes to sit on a small tractor that is parked near the cars (really a mini thing) and I tell him to get in the car; he comes but I see him put something in his pocket and looking guilty. I ask what it is, he doesn't want to show me, says I am going to be cross. Finally he does show me - it's the key to the tractor with an attached penknife, quite sharp, which he starts waving around. I obviously insist that it is put back and after I have done so he goes ballistic - shouting, screaming, refusing to put his seat belt on, insulting me (in 4 year old terms). I managed to stay relatively calm, not get pulled into the stress and intensity. He continued raging for most of the ride home (about 20 minutes). At one point he said "I'm going to get a knife and hurt you!" When I said "Jacob!" very sharply, he said sorry and that he did not mean it... I do not usually give consequences but I am honestly worried about this stealing, fascination with knives and insulting me and I said he could not ride his new quad bike which someone has just given him as a present that evening (not a good idea anyway after all the excitement of the party) because he had done these things. He protested and shouted and screamed but then, most surprisingly, stopped, said he was sleepy and wanted his dodo (bet you don't know what that is ) and from then on and the rest of the evening - supper, bath, story and bed - was pleasant and co-operative. He accepted not to ride the bike without fuss, saying it was dark anyway. We talked about what had happened, I stressed how we are not allowed to take things that do not belong to us - he seemed to consider this, looking rather surprised as though it was a new idea to him (though he knows it). When I asked him why he thought he had been so naughty he said "Because I was sleepy"...
I am perplexed by all this. He was obviously tired and on a high after the party. Any lingering doubts I may have that J is like most other children really disappeared this afternoon - no other kids were raging and insulting their parents as they left the place... And then the sudden switch out of it... He never really rages for that long and this was a long time for him - then suddenly calm and reason descend.
I would be curious to know what people make of it.
I am perplexed by all this. He was obviously tired and on a high after the party. Any lingering doubts I may have that J is like most other children really disappeared this afternoon - no other kids were raging and insulting their parents as they left the place... And then the sudden switch out of it... He never really rages for that long and this was a long time for him - then suddenly calm and reason descend.
I would be curious to know what people make of it.