I think as parents we cannot possibly know our children completely. sometimes we dont want to know their true natures.
ant went to prison oct 17th. since then I have fielded several calls from women he has lied to, begged money from and been in sexual relationships with from as far away as Iowa. (550 miles)
he had given my number to them to have them write to him. the first message was from Chrissy...a name I had not heard. she left a msg on my machine saying to tell anthony that the money order was on the way. next two calls were tearful ones from R, the gal he lived with the last three weeks at his apartment. R was truly a dear and I wondered why she put up wtih ant. there is also Becky, sheena, sarah, etc etc.
all women have in common that they met him on the net or in person. he seduced them all but the one in Iowa, only because she had not gotten here yet. they all told stories of being sworn at, thrown out in the middle of the night, not knowing about one another til someone got angry and confronted the other women. R would go to work at 8pm as a waitress, in would come becky and/or sarah to ant's apartment. both becky and sarah went to R's work and told her this the day ant left. I talked to them and as gently as I could told them to not send money and that they were not the only ones, that ant will be gone a long time and they should find good men. Poor R was truly a nice girl, taken in by ant whom she only knew 3 weeks. I have been asking these women why in the world they would stay with someone so mean and angry. they all said "he promised he would change" " I love him" R had no idea of the other women and his true nature.
I have his cellphone as he was intent on keeping it for numbers etc. It is shut off but I took a look in there. shocking pics he took of women in various undress, some they emailed him-very pornographic, doing things to themselves. all disgusting and sad. there were very graphic text messages from many women.
one of the most disturbing revelations was several closeups of a guy I met who was with ant off and on. this guy had stayed at my house a few days with ant and boyfriend while they did roofing in this area so I knew him to be college educated, polite and meek. the closeups were of the guy's bloody black eye. some had ant and this guy's faces together, ant looking tough and the guy expressionless but with his black bloody eye that looked like it needed stitches.
found out thru boyfriend that ant had slugged the guy over a girl. he cold cocked him in a car. the guy did not hit back. he was a drug user in jail now, and apparently was ant's punching bag on more than one occasion when he was under the influence. :sad:
I have not heard before of ant being so violent with a guy. ant has been beat up nearly to death but this time he caused the damage.
I cannot tell you how sorrowful this makes me feel. I am horrified to be his mother. I deleted all the objectionable photos from the phone and locked it for now. in fact I do not know how to unlock it and it will stay that way. I am problem going to toss it out. Ant is much sicker than orig thought... much more dangerous, angry and volatile.
he does not do drugs by all accounts/his substance of choice is alcohol. I was not sure if the drugs were out of his life but they are. and yes, I know alcohol is a drug. it makes him violent and brings out the rage.
I do not plan on visiting ant or taking kaleb at all. in fact Kaleb should not have any contact with him for a very long time until he gets help somehow.
I called his probation officer in the other county that is looking for him and left a message where ant is so that the other county can pursue the probation violation as well. he needs to be held tight and if he can be retrained to enter society again one day, so be it. if not, he will have to be institutionalized when it is warranted. he was bound to cause some one some time some serious harm. By God's intervention, he is in jail. I am glad and I mean it but it brings tears to my eyes to know his anger is so bad and he has hurt people. :tissue:
ant went to prison oct 17th. since then I have fielded several calls from women he has lied to, begged money from and been in sexual relationships with from as far away as Iowa. (550 miles)
he had given my number to them to have them write to him. the first message was from Chrissy...a name I had not heard. she left a msg on my machine saying to tell anthony that the money order was on the way. next two calls were tearful ones from R, the gal he lived with the last three weeks at his apartment. R was truly a dear and I wondered why she put up wtih ant. there is also Becky, sheena, sarah, etc etc.
all women have in common that they met him on the net or in person. he seduced them all but the one in Iowa, only because she had not gotten here yet. they all told stories of being sworn at, thrown out in the middle of the night, not knowing about one another til someone got angry and confronted the other women. R would go to work at 8pm as a waitress, in would come becky and/or sarah to ant's apartment. both becky and sarah went to R's work and told her this the day ant left. I talked to them and as gently as I could told them to not send money and that they were not the only ones, that ant will be gone a long time and they should find good men. Poor R was truly a nice girl, taken in by ant whom she only knew 3 weeks. I have been asking these women why in the world they would stay with someone so mean and angry. they all said "he promised he would change" " I love him" R had no idea of the other women and his true nature.
I have his cellphone as he was intent on keeping it for numbers etc. It is shut off but I took a look in there. shocking pics he took of women in various undress, some they emailed him-very pornographic, doing things to themselves. all disgusting and sad. there were very graphic text messages from many women.
one of the most disturbing revelations was several closeups of a guy I met who was with ant off and on. this guy had stayed at my house a few days with ant and boyfriend while they did roofing in this area so I knew him to be college educated, polite and meek. the closeups were of the guy's bloody black eye. some had ant and this guy's faces together, ant looking tough and the guy expressionless but with his black bloody eye that looked like it needed stitches.
found out thru boyfriend that ant had slugged the guy over a girl. he cold cocked him in a car. the guy did not hit back. he was a drug user in jail now, and apparently was ant's punching bag on more than one occasion when he was under the influence. :sad:
I have not heard before of ant being so violent with a guy. ant has been beat up nearly to death but this time he caused the damage.
I cannot tell you how sorrowful this makes me feel. I am horrified to be his mother. I deleted all the objectionable photos from the phone and locked it for now. in fact I do not know how to unlock it and it will stay that way. I am problem going to toss it out. Ant is much sicker than orig thought... much more dangerous, angry and volatile.
he does not do drugs by all accounts/his substance of choice is alcohol. I was not sure if the drugs were out of his life but they are. and yes, I know alcohol is a drug. it makes him violent and brings out the rage.
I do not plan on visiting ant or taking kaleb at all. in fact Kaleb should not have any contact with him for a very long time until he gets help somehow.
I called his probation officer in the other county that is looking for him and left a message where ant is so that the other county can pursue the probation violation as well. he needs to be held tight and if he can be retrained to enter society again one day, so be it. if not, he will have to be institutionalized when it is warranted. he was bound to cause some one some time some serious harm. By God's intervention, he is in jail. I am glad and I mean it but it brings tears to my eyes to know his anger is so bad and he has hurt people. :tissue: