Motivation - how do they get it if they don't already have it?

[Allan-Matlem]

The researchers deci and ryan , the author Alfie Kohn talk a lot about intrinsic motivation. The self determination theory holds that people are intrinsically motivated when their needs for autonomy ( not independence but feeling that your actions are self directed ) , competence and relatedness.

Ross Greene - Explosive child, Lost at school - the CPS approach believes that kids are already motivated to do well - it is the preferred choice , kids would like to be successful, adaptive and liked. When that is not happening , we must ask what is getting in the way , what are the lacking skills - lack of competence.

Rewards undermine intrinsic motivation. Schools are driven by grades - a type of reward , don't support the autonomy of kids to be involved in learning that is based on their interests and natural curiosity and their is no relatedness - teacher is a boss and other kids are competition.

The question we should be asking is how can we help kids motivate themselves and not how can we motivate kids.?

http://www.joebower.org/ - a teacher who focuses on intrinsic motivation and making school a place where kids want to be .

So if we take a look at Self determination theory - we need to focus on a kid's competence, relatedness and give him a sense of autonomy - have a voice in what he learns

Unfortunately schools are not about learning to love knowledge and learning , but to get a good grade.

Allan

 

[Running_for_the_shelter]

You don't have to be a difficult child with a diagnosis to dislike the dull tasks of school. However, school isn't just about mastery of a topic in the sense that you can get an A on a test. It's also about developing other useful skill sets that will help you be successful. Keeping track of assignments, organizing your work, doing it neatly and remembering to hand it in ("follow up") all directly translate into being successful later in life, whether you go to college or not.

My difficult child (who hates school) does better than his screaming bright easy child sister who is simply not self-motivated. Yes, she will claim to be bored with the assignment and says school goes too slowly etc etc. [She has learned that gets some extra effort from teachers, but I no longer buy into it. Whoever said that each moment of school is supposed to be enthralling?] So she doesn't perform. difficult child, on the other hand, will actually complete a task he's not interested in. The SAME behaviors are present in non-school situations. Give easy child a basket of clothes to hang up and it will take her all afternoon (with lots of prodding) because she SEEKS distraction from this dull task. difficult child screams about how he won't do it, hates me, hates everything, whatever, but then starts on the basket and doesn't stop until he is done. He therefore has the potential to ultimately be more successful in life than his sister.

I tell easy child that life is full of dull tasks and she has to find ways to make herself complete them. Cleaning up after yourself is dull. Paying bills does not excite me. I am not intellectually challenged by deadheading roses or taking the car in for repair. That's all irrelevant. Sometimes, what you learn in Social Studies isn't Social Studies; it's the skill set to deal with a bad boss.

Basically, it's not how many marbles you have; it's how you play them. My husband is like my daughter; I am like my son. In many ways, I am considered a far more successful person than my husband and I do believe I am a happier one ... simply because I can "suck it up" and do stuff I don't like because it needs to get done.

Lack of motivation (which can be taken to point of outright laziness) isn't necessarily a difficult child thing. It's a pervasive human characteristic. Some people have a lot if "stick-to-it-iveness"; some don't. The real job of life isn't always interesting and one of the most valuable things a person can learn is how to finish a job they don't really want to do. But HOW to actually do that -- how to motivate yourself -- doesn't have a simple answer. Some people do work for the carrots; others fear the stick. Some have a sense of duty; some work for pride. There is no one right answer and each person has to find a motivation for any particular task in his or her own way.

 

[Allan-Matlem]

Running for shelter,

in my humble opinion your easy child could be lacking the skills -competence to be more organized and stay on task. Kids would prefer to be successful and adaptive , when they are not , we have to find out what's getting in their way

Allan