My day...504...new teacher....LONG

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AllStressedOut, Sep 6, 2007.

  1. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I almost posted this in Watercooler, but so much has to do with difficult child and 504, I thought I'd get more input here on those two. Skip the next 3 paragraphs if you want to get to the difficult child and 504 part.

    Well, husband took the day off today because easy child-D went to preschool this morning for her first day back. It was our first day of no kids and we wanted to just hang out. What that really means is, we had tons of errands to run. First we went to like 5 stores trying to find folders with brads and pockets. I still don't get why middle school doesn't post school supply lists BEFORE school starts.

    Then we went to the police station for finger printing! Yes, I'm now part of the FBI database. LOL No, it was for us to start moving forward with the adoption. Gotta have my background check done. I was afraid to do this earlier because I didn't want to JINX our case. I know, stupid, but I just didn't want to get too far ahead of ourselves. So then we took the fingerprinting cards to the attorneys office. Dropped those off and headed home.

    Tuesday I got a call from my mom asking for advice with custody issues. A woman in her office had her son over for the weekend and he broke down in tears and told his mom that his bio dad has been beating him. My advice was to call CPS. They will typically get the kid out of there faster than a judge, unfortunately. So they did that and the kid was removed and placed with his mom. So, back to today, mom called again asking if I had clothes that may fit the boy. I have 5 boys and 2 friends just gave me a bunch of clothes, so I found winter stuff, but no summer stuff. Poor kid, all this change, new school started today and no clothes to wear. I told my mom I'd run to the thrift store if she wanted, but shes going to take her friend there tomorrow and buy some clothes.

    Okay, so after all of my running, we had our 504 meeting for youngest difficult child. I was really hoping this new school would be better, but I swear the new teacher seemed miffed in the meeting. Maybe its just me. I told husband I thought she seemed annoyed with us. When the cupcake incident was brought up and the cookie incident, I let her know that difficult child sneaks at home too so I understand, but still the hairy eyeball. Maybe she was just trying to stand her ground on what she thought was best. I don't know. We are so flexible and I try to make teachers feel like I support them, but I don't want the hairy eyeball nor did I deserve it. The old school said they would heat up difficult children lunch for him because he would eat leftovers and they aren't always tasty cold. The new school said no way to this. The old school said toy treats were okay for birthday celebrations because difficult child can't eat cupcakes/cookies and the new school wants food treats. I said okay to these things because I'm trying to work with them, but then they won't let him have his afternoon snack because other kids aren't eating one. I have to bring a doctors note ordering it. I told the teacher this was for her benefit, that if he gets hungry, he has trouble focussing and behaving, but she still says no. I can't get this teacher to reply to my emails the night of, so I can't ask about difficult children specific behavioral problems. They have a chart that has a T for Talking, O for Off Task and D for Disrespect. This chart probably works great for other kids, but if they want me to help out and support them, I can't get onto difficult child for talking, off task or disrespect without getting more info. I have to spell out what actions were wrong and what actions he should have done.

    That paragraph was getting too long, so heres a new one. LOL Anyways, teacher says difficult child is refusing to put any effort forward on anything. He'll answer the easy stuff, but if he has to read to figure it out, he refuses to answer. He had a sheet of spelling words, 20, that he had to write and he only wrote 6. Not because he doesn't know the answer but because he just doesn't want to do it.

    I told the teacher that medications will help some of this, but I still got the hairy eyeball. I'm not sure what to do. She seemed nice in her last email, but in person she seems a tad annoyed with us. I'm sure she thinks he just needs more discipline, which is what MOST people think. HECK I use to think this, but geez! Those that know us know we are more structured than any house around and we don't let our kids slide. I'm at a loss as to what to do to make this year go better than it seems to have started out as.

    I offered to come and shadow him next week, they want him to learn to do things on his own. Umm, hello, he won't. I wish I could explain this to people when they first meet him, but they of course have to figure this out for themselves. If this school decides he is too much to deal with they can send him back to his home school which means we get to deal with the Evil Principal again. UUUGH! I offered the lanyard idea, they said no. Oh, but they did take me up on one thing. difficult child isn't finishing classwork and I told the teacher if he doesn't finish she can send it home and husband and I will do it with him. Of course that idea was good enough to accept. I'm just at a loss. :hammer: I'm not sure what the heck to do here. If I cause too much trouble we could be back at the old school in a heartbeat. This school does not have to take us, we are transfers. So enough of my babbling...any ideas on what I should do now?
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very frustrating! I'm sorry the teacher seemed so annoyed and uncooperative. I'm confused on why they don't have to keep him. My son is a transfer too and pretty much the only reason they can revoke his transfer for his a bunch of absences or tardies (due to the fact that he has an IEP I guess).

    Wish I had some advice right now but my brain is fried and it's hard to think of how to reach a teacher that seems to have her mind made up. Have you talked to anyone other than the classroom teacher?
     
  3. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    The entire 2nd grade was in the 504, the principal, the nurse, the 504 coordinator and us.

    I read on the transfer papers that if they have behavioral problems they can be sent back to their home school. I don't know if this still applies for a 504 student.
     
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    UGH! :cry: Can't tell you how I hated those meetings, those days! Those times when I was embroiled up to my eyeballs in advocacy for my son - but made to feel as if I was a criminal. Yuck!

    Yes, in the state we live in, I believe you are correct. A transfer is a privilege that can be revoked by bad behavior.

    The only advice I can give you is kiss butt as much as humanly possible. That is the only thing that seemed to make positive waves in my son's direction. Constant compliments to the teacher, lot's of accolades to the school staff, blah, blah, blah. It was a role I played, like I was acting, but it managed to get more things accomplished than when I tried to constantly change things.
     
  5. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I could be wrong here but I thought that in 504 and IEP meetings things were to be agreed on by all parties and if they just emphatically would not take any suggestions I would look at an advocate or appeal or something of the sort. Of course tonight I am in a mood so other heads may be cooler than mine.

    Beth
     
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I think you need to go for an IEP. I can't remember what the neuropsychologist findings were specifically for youngest difficult child, but I thought Asperger's was one of them. He NEEDS an IEP. 504's have no teeth...they really aren't enforceable. And get that doctor's note for the snack. Sheesh. How silly is that.
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The doctor needs to write a very specific PRESCRIPTION for what your son needs. PERIOD. This is a MEDICAL ISSUE (the reactive hypoglycemia) and if the school transfers him out of htis setting after having accepted him because he has a medical problem, well honey, this is what ya call a MEDIA CIRCUS. Then you call some people higher up in hte school district and start asking very pointed questions about why your son is being punished for a medical problem, why a doctor's PRESCRIPTION is not being followed, etc....

    They will be much nicer after that.

    I always felt that the IEP meetings were very high stress, after the very first year we had one. That year was a piece of cake as his teacher was a true gem, and I wish all of our kids could have her for all of their years!!

    Have you approached the school district RN about setting up a medical PLAN for him? If not, take the prescription (write out what you want the doctor to say on the scrip as it regards food - docs work better this way at least here) and go to the cafeteria MANAGER and ask for the forms for food allergies. The doctor will need to fill this out too. (again, here it works best if I put a post-it on the form with what it needs to say). The school will be receiving federal $$$ for the lunch/breakfast program. They have forms for this. Then take the filled out forms and go in search of the district RN (NOT THE PERSON IN THE OFFICE GIVING medications).

    Once these forms are filled out you should have much more compliance as they can lose their federal lunch/bfast $$$$. That is, the DISTRICT can lose the $$$$. Not just the school. But the school knows this.

    Did you sign the 504? Request, in writing anew evaluation, using hte forms in the Special Education Forum. They really do help.

    Sorry if I am unclear, I will check out the copies of the forms with my school if you want. They won't be the same, but might help.

    Sorry it was so stressful,

    Susie
     
  8. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Yes, we did sign the 504.

    I'm starting to wonder if the reactive hypoglycemia diagnosis is accurate. Just because the jerk psychiatrist we saw said many people get this diagnosis when there isn't anything wrong. Does anyone know how to read a blood glucose test? I have his 6 hour test, I just don't get what it means.
     
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