Today is my son's hearing, and from what his lawyer told me, they won't postpone it again. They postponed it twice to "ice" him, he said, because my son still was saying he doesn't have a problem and doesn't need rehab. It's almost funny it's so ridiculous. If it wasn't so sad and so tragic. I had a call pop up on my phone yesterday when I was in a meeting. From Shreveport, Louisiana, which is where the jail system here has their phone contract. I didn't see it until an hour later. And what was important about it, for me, was that I didn't react inside myself very much at all to see the missed call. I didn't tighten up and immediately start obsessing. I did confirm my decision to myself that I am not going to take any calls from him right now. I sent him the letter we talked about last week, and he has received it. Here is the letter, I mailed, and I appreciate all of the good ideas from you---I used a lot of them: Dear difficult child, I don’t know what is next for you, but I want to be clear about my parameters. And these are things you may not want to hear. I am committed to living healthy and strong, and to making it possible for you to do the same. Do not come to my house after your release, difficult child. You will need to make your own arrangements to go wherever you decide. What you do and how you do it is completely up to you and completely your responsibility. I hope you will do what you need to do to live as the healthy, ethical and fine young man I raised you to be. It’s best for us to maintain our distance right now. That will allow you to figure out your own life and make your own decisions. I love you, difficult child. Mom I'm under no illusions that this means I won't hear from him. I still have to be prepared, and the way I do that now is to write down my responses and what I would/will say if/when I talk to him. Right now, that is the best way for me to stick to what I decide and maintain what I want to happen. I still get confused and emotional----he can definitely rattle me, and he knows it. I could be all sad about where this relationship is between my precious son and myself, and I am. I could sit down and cry a while about it, and I might. But I also have moved to a new place, the place of seeing what is, and accepting it. I am ready to maintain the boundaries I spelled out here, and I am praying that with all of the resources I have available to me, I can do it. It is the best thing for me. It is the best thing for him. Thanks for all of you for your continued support, guidance and feedback. It is a gift.