need advice!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tonime, May 22, 2009.

  1. tonime

    tonime toni

    Does anyone else have these behavior problems with their difficult child? (Mine is an 11 year old boy-who takes foccalin short acting)

    * First, difficult child is showing no respect to my things. For example, used my shaving cream in shower- I spoke to him about it- but he did it again-- the whole can was gone! I made him pay for it.

    Along the same lines as above-- I went for one of my weight watcher bars (food item) and 2 were left! Again difficult child- again not the first time! Made him pay for them

    Now-- I just went to use an eye gel that I hardly use-- guess who was in that!!!!!

    ** Second-- he seems to be destructive-- in the past I have found ripped up Yu Gi Oh cards in his room- no biggie- just stopped buying them. But, last week he put his multi-tool knife through his blanket on purpose-- husband took it away from him
    Today, I find the tin plate to his Boy Scout mess kit all dented and destroyed.
    WHY DOES HE DO THIS? WHY DESTROY THINGS?????? I don't get it.

    *** Third, last week, a neighbor told us they saw difficult child on the roof outside his room. We spoke to difficult child about it-- so he doesn't do it again-- DANGEROUS! But, just because we spoke about it doesn't mean he won't repeat it! He told us, he wanted to see how his room looked from the outside!

    Any advice or thoughts appreciated!!!!
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending understanding hugs your way. My difficult child has done similar things except for the roof thing. My easy child does the food thing and "borrowing" of my stuff too. It drives me crazy! The roof thing is very scary though. I would probably give his psychiatrist a call so he is aware of that risky behavior. Again, sending understanding hugs your way.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If it were me, I'd take him to a neuropsychologist for another evaluation. Obviously the Focalin isn't doing the trick, and it sounds like more to me than ADHD--Focalin and other stims can make some disorders even worse. Rather than helping impulsivity, it can actually making one MORE impulsive (after all, it IS speed).

    He sounds very angry, and I'd want to have him evaluated all over again. A neuropsychologist tests for 6-10 hours. Why not tell us more? How was his early development? Can he socialize normally? Any psychiatric problems or substances abuse on either side of his family tree?
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, my difficult child has destroyed many things - very quietly.

    Never the roof thing though - that would scare me!
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    Mine will destroy things not out of anger but out of a perpetual business at times. He will go into my makeup to "create art" for instance. Or he will decide to create a gormet dinner and before I know it every pot and pan in the house is dirty. I will say his culinary abilities are improving lol.

    I like what MWM said, take him back for a neuropsychologist visit. The medications could be making this worse.

    Understanding hugs,

  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    My difficult child used a poster on his wall as a dart board. Now the wall behind it is missing chunks. He ruins many of his toys, and just destroyed his latest back back. He just wrecks everything. He also used to mix the shampoo and conditioner, use conditioner to wash his hair, use all of my favorite scented body wash(at least he smelled good) and stashed food in his nightstand untill I knew it was there because I could smell it. I think for me I just started not taking it personally, and started removing my bathing items from the shower when he was in there.

  7. tonime

    tonime toni

    Thanks for the advice. We were just at the neurologist--but I really didn't mention any of this-- as for the medications these behaviors seem to occur--when he is not on them or they are wearing off.
    I spoke to him about the eye cream today- he was apologetic
    Everything else is going ok for him. School behavior is good-- which I am grateful for. If I don't see improvement with his behaviors I will call and make another appointment-
    thanks again