pepperidge
New Member
HI
I'm hoping that there are some of you out there who are trying to use plan B. I can do plan C, it is plan B that is giving me trouble. difficult child 2 is an impulsive kid and has a hard time stopping whatever he is doing when his friends/parents/brother tells him to stop. Tonight after playing WII with his brother he began to get sill at bedtime, wouldn't get out of his brother's room, was being silly with this stupid blow up toy hammer. I kept asking him to go to his room, told him it was his bedroom, made the mistake probably of telling him that he wanted a friend to sleep over I needed to see that he could listen. Anyway, his brother said something but not nasty, but more along the lines of please leave me alone. Don't know what comment he made exactly but difficult child 2 hauled off and hit him with this leather belt and left a welt on his hand. I then asked him more sternly to get out of fgf1's room, he did but then went and smashed his new Christmas present (Wii drum set). That just made me sad. I'm currently reading Ross Greene Lost at school (great book), and am thinking he doesn't need a punishment (he already has the natural consequence) but he does need help. The violence scares me, especially since this kid is way stronger and bigger than me.
difficult child 2 has been suspended from school twice in the last two weeks for seemingly unprovoked hitting. I thought and continue to think that it was largely result of SSRI disinhibition reaction (we d/c medication a week ago). But boy the reactions seemed excessively strong tonight and really makes me feel worried about him going back to school. Maybe being Christmas day and all made it difficult. But we had a pretty low key day and difficult child 2 spent a lot of afternoon playing new game on WII, some with his brother and actually things were pretty good. I told them they had to take some time off electronics tonight so they were fooling around with Nerf guns, happily playing together (a new positive development) but I think difficult child 2 got wound up.
As for suspension, school says he can go back half day in morning (which are typically better) while they do safe schools and FBA on him and try to figure out whether he is going to continue to hit kids. (no pattern or apparent provocation to kids he hit).
Anyway here are my questions, you of greater wisdom.
1) when your kids gets in a very silly state, how do you get them to listen and stop doing something when it is getting irritating, dangerous etc? With difficult child 1 often we would exacerbate it by getting angry and the silliness would shift to anger and then property destruction. I know that threatening with consequences most often doesn't work and makes things worse (perhaps tonight that certainly didn't help) but is there anything you can do? It is harder to divert a 13 year old than a four year old.
2) If the lagging skill has to do with impulsivity (not thinking through the consequences) and not listening to those around you who are telling you to stop, what does plan b look like? Right now it looks to me like we need to stay away from situations when unwanted behavior will happen , which unfortunately is just about any social situation.
My son seems either not clued in to what others are telling him (stop) or has difficulty stopping his behavior even when he hears stop (not sure what lagging skill that isl)
3) I am beginning to think that my son needs a much more intensive therapeutic environment where they work on a lot of plan B all the time. Any one have any leads on such an environment for these kind of kids? Please PM ASAP!!!
Anything else. I want to help him be less impulsive but how? I am really afraid for the future of this kid.
At a loss, scared, and depressed.
P.
I'm hoping that there are some of you out there who are trying to use plan B. I can do plan C, it is plan B that is giving me trouble. difficult child 2 is an impulsive kid and has a hard time stopping whatever he is doing when his friends/parents/brother tells him to stop. Tonight after playing WII with his brother he began to get sill at bedtime, wouldn't get out of his brother's room, was being silly with this stupid blow up toy hammer. I kept asking him to go to his room, told him it was his bedroom, made the mistake probably of telling him that he wanted a friend to sleep over I needed to see that he could listen. Anyway, his brother said something but not nasty, but more along the lines of please leave me alone. Don't know what comment he made exactly but difficult child 2 hauled off and hit him with this leather belt and left a welt on his hand. I then asked him more sternly to get out of fgf1's room, he did but then went and smashed his new Christmas present (Wii drum set). That just made me sad. I'm currently reading Ross Greene Lost at school (great book), and am thinking he doesn't need a punishment (he already has the natural consequence) but he does need help. The violence scares me, especially since this kid is way stronger and bigger than me.
difficult child 2 has been suspended from school twice in the last two weeks for seemingly unprovoked hitting. I thought and continue to think that it was largely result of SSRI disinhibition reaction (we d/c medication a week ago). But boy the reactions seemed excessively strong tonight and really makes me feel worried about him going back to school. Maybe being Christmas day and all made it difficult. But we had a pretty low key day and difficult child 2 spent a lot of afternoon playing new game on WII, some with his brother and actually things were pretty good. I told them they had to take some time off electronics tonight so they were fooling around with Nerf guns, happily playing together (a new positive development) but I think difficult child 2 got wound up.
As for suspension, school says he can go back half day in morning (which are typically better) while they do safe schools and FBA on him and try to figure out whether he is going to continue to hit kids. (no pattern or apparent provocation to kids he hit).
Anyway here are my questions, you of greater wisdom.
1) when your kids gets in a very silly state, how do you get them to listen and stop doing something when it is getting irritating, dangerous etc? With difficult child 1 often we would exacerbate it by getting angry and the silliness would shift to anger and then property destruction. I know that threatening with consequences most often doesn't work and makes things worse (perhaps tonight that certainly didn't help) but is there anything you can do? It is harder to divert a 13 year old than a four year old.
2) If the lagging skill has to do with impulsivity (not thinking through the consequences) and not listening to those around you who are telling you to stop, what does plan b look like? Right now it looks to me like we need to stay away from situations when unwanted behavior will happen , which unfortunately is just about any social situation.
My son seems either not clued in to what others are telling him (stop) or has difficulty stopping his behavior even when he hears stop (not sure what lagging skill that isl)
3) I am beginning to think that my son needs a much more intensive therapeutic environment where they work on a lot of plan B all the time. Any one have any leads on such an environment for these kind of kids? Please PM ASAP!!!
Anything else. I want to help him be less impulsive but how? I am really afraid for the future of this kid.
At a loss, scared, and depressed.
P.