I finally jumped through the 12.5 required hoops needed to see a psychiatrist in this town, and I meet with him next week. However, I would like any ideas you may also have as well on how to manage my severe anxiety. I feel like I know a ton, just from difficult child and being on this board, but maybe there is something I am missing. Two months ago, after I lost my job, I was about to leave for Dallas to see my ill Dad, and stop in Vegas for a number of stressful of interviews for a new company. Two nights before all of this I started having full body muscle twitches at night. They got so bad that I thought I was having seizures. I should have gone to the hospital, but, you know, I always take the route of toughing it out. Sigh. The twitches kept me awake all night for 2 nights in a row, so by the time I was driving to Vegas for the job interviews I was hearing auditory hallucinations. (Oddly I nailed the interviews and was later offered the job - freaking amazing). I got to Dallas, and for the third night in a row the same thing happened. By then, I was freaking out, and I went to the Dr asap. I talked the whole thing through with him, because I thought it was physical by this point. As if I had Parkinsons, or seizures - or? He asked me my whole story and I told him about the job loss, my dad ill and dying, etc and he was sure this was all anxiety related and he started me on Wellbutrin and Xanax. I HATE Xanax, as you know I was on it a couple of years ago, and I felt like I was going to die trying to go off of it (but I did, vowing I would never go back on it). Yet, now I had to sleep. The first night I took the Xanax and I slept like a baby. And now as long as I take the Xanax, I still sleep well, but if I try to lower the dose I get the twitches again. I have noticed I have the body twitches in the day if I am upset too, but it doesn't bother me because I am moving around. And I notice I don't get the twitches if I am calm. So all of that to say, after talking to 2 different doctors about this, who both think it is anxiety, I guess it is. (Although my paranoia takes me other places with this issue). So I want to be able to talk to this Dr next week intelligently about other options for anxiety. I have tried Buspar and it made me feel physically ill. I have tried Klonipin and Ativan and they work fine, and apparently are less addictive. I cannot take SNRIs because they make me feel crazy, I can only take SSRIs. I ended up declining the job offer over this anxiety issue - with the promise that when my Dad passes they will have a position for me - which is amazing on their part. Truly it is not as easy as accepting a new job, and starting tomorrow. I will have to move both Matt and myself to a new state and start over, and try to give 110% to a new job while my dad is dying. That is pretty huge. So it makes sense for me to wait here until things can calm down enough for me to be able to make that big jump. In the meantime I have to be able to find peace. I am writing, reading, trying to draw, and meditate, and I am exercising a ton - I think I know the homeopathic things to do. There are literally no counselors here that are certified, they are all in training. I went to one, finally, and her best advice was, "gosh how do you get up in the morning". Ummmm - helpful? Not. My psychologist in Dallas and I still talk via phone once in awhile, but that is not as helpful as I wish - it really does need to be in person. So unfortunately the twitches, and anxiety attacks continue - and I am going to need a medication that can help. I see some of your profiles, and it seems as if some of you or your spouse are on medications that I have never heard of. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.