mrscatinthehat
Seussical
While I was on my way home last night/this morning from the police station and difficult child 2 I was so unhappy. I have been working on so many things such as detatching etc. Some things are so easy to do that with.
difficult child 1 is doing so well these days (I hate to put it in black and white but it is true). And of course this makes me happy.
I have easy child who although typical in teen hood is a pretty good kid. This too makes me happy.
difficult child 2 however the life out of me. This is not new. However his behavior is worse and scarier.
I looked at life so differently before. I took for granted the things that made me happy. Now when I find happy things I want to kling to them. I know bad things will happen it isn't that. I just wish I could find a way to know happiness.
I don't even expect others to give it to me. I baked tonight with difficult child 1 and that was happy but alas it faded quickly.
I feel almost too demanding about it. But darn if I just don't want a whole day of just happiness.
I am looking at everything for it. Reading, baking so many other things are the little respites of my life. But where is the laughter. The spontaneous joy that comes from something unexpected (and not the nasty little phone calls, or the cat hurling on my chair either).
Oh well. I will keep looking. If I find happy land I will let everyone else know too. I am not selfish.
Beth
difficult child 1 is doing so well these days (I hate to put it in black and white but it is true). And of course this makes me happy.
I have easy child who although typical in teen hood is a pretty good kid. This too makes me happy.
difficult child 2 however the life out of me. This is not new. However his behavior is worse and scarier.
I looked at life so differently before. I took for granted the things that made me happy. Now when I find happy things I want to kling to them. I know bad things will happen it isn't that. I just wish I could find a way to know happiness.
I don't even expect others to give it to me. I baked tonight with difficult child 1 and that was happy but alas it faded quickly.
I feel almost too demanding about it. But darn if I just don't want a whole day of just happiness.
I am looking at everything for it. Reading, baking so many other things are the little respites of my life. But where is the laughter. The spontaneous joy that comes from something unexpected (and not the nasty little phone calls, or the cat hurling on my chair either).
Oh well. I will keep looking. If I find happy land I will let everyone else know too. I am not selfish.
Beth