Need to vent

[HaoZi]

And it looks like I'm not the only one having a hopeless period. Last night I had to call the police to haul Kiddo back in after she took off. Festering issues about the kids leaving her to play by herself left her feeling "abandoned and worthless." This morning was a nice fight to get her ready for school and had to threaten to have her delivered to school in a squad car if she didn't get dressed and get to the bus on time. She's failing core classes and might fail 6th grade. I'm ready to tear people's faces off at work because I can only take so much attitude in a given day and I'm on the verge of not giving a **** if she fails 6th grade or not. She has so much potential and just won't help herself.

 

[AnnieO]

Yeah... I understand.

 

[DDD]

Sending hugs your way. I know how difficult it is to keep an even keel with difficult children but you are during a great job of doing your best...and that's all anyone can do. DDD

 

[TerryJ2]

Arrrgh! I'm so sorry! been there done that.

Did the police pick up shake her at all? Or is she stuck in a bad patch? Do you have a psychiatrist appointment?

I've often thought, who cares if my difficult child flunks out? But then he'd live with-me forever. NOT going to happen!

 

[HaoZi]

Right now I think she's going for a record on how many days she can go without showering and melting down in the process. FML.

 

[buddy]

Sounds miserable ....so sorry that all went down. Just really stinks that there is so much stress for you. Sending lots of hugs and support ....

 

[HaoZi]

She decided she wants her toenails trimmed so she got in the shower YAY!

 

[StressedM0mma]

So Sorry. Hugs. I understand. I am not sure what is going on right now with our difficult child's. You are a strong woman. I am not sure how you manage working and dealing with all of it. difficult child is my full time job it seems. I surely would be fired by now. Hope she settles and gets a shower soon.

 

[InsaneCdn]

She decided she wants her toenails trimmed so she got in the shower YAY!

You know you're the parent of a difficult child when you celebrate the SMALL stuff... because it's bigger than it looks!

 

[BusynMember]

Sorry things have been tough. Gentle hugs.

 

[STRESSEDTOMAX]

I can SO relate to all of this. My difficult child is 11 and in 6TH grade also. Right now he is EXTREMELY defiant. Today is his second day in school in the past two weeks and the only reason he is there today is cause husband told him he would take difficult child and his friend bowling this weekend if he went to school for the next three days. I had to call the police yesterday because he was acting out aggressively because I asked him to take a shower. Showers are a major deal with him. And even when he does shower, he still smells and it gets me crazy for HIM...I'm afraid he's going to get teased. The police were going to take him to the hospital - which I feel is such a huge waste of time -but maybe it would accomplish something? - but there were no beds and there was no way I was gonna let them put him in a hospital hours away. He calmed down but lately I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and it usually does. I am not in a good state right now. I don't really know where to turn next. I understand. I hope today is a better day.

 

[HaoZi]

We do the shower = Klondike bar thing, but lately she cares less about the Klondike bar. Now I have packages of them in my freezer, including ones she's earned but hasn't eaten. I've lost track of how many. :S

 

[Californiablonde]

Good idea. Maybe I should start bribing my kids to take showers. It's a total chore for both of them to get in there. And then once they're there, washing their hair is a big struggle. I'm lucky if they get in three showers a week.

 

[InsaneCdn]

If you can get a 12yo male to take 3 showers a week... you're doing GOOD... JMO of course.
Favorite therapist said... that won't change until they get interested in girls...

 

[Californiablonde]

He's been interested in girls since the age of 5. He supposedly has a girlfriend now but I've never met her. That's a good incentive. I'll just tell him the girls won't like a stinky boy so he needs to shower more often. I take two showers a day so it's really odd to me that someone would only shower several times a week and be okay with it.

 

[HaoZi]

She still can't wash her own hair. Has zip interest in learning either. Ditto brushing, but her hair mostly just falls into place every day (lucky her!). Her case worker didn't even realize she doesn't wash or brush her own hair or has such shower issues as Storm doesn't really have much BO at all (case worker and I had a long talk this evening about Storm's functioning and frustrations at home and school). Next time she melts down at school and I get an email I'm to call a case conference to A) make certain all her teachers are aware of her IEP, B), update her BIP and make it better, and C) push AGAIN for a 1-on-1 the school really doesn't want to pay for.

The good thing is Storm does stay hygienic. She uses wet wipes in the bathroom (so thankful she finally wipes herself!), and will use deodorant as long as I put it with her clothes in the morning. Washes her hands after using the bathroom. With soap! Brushing teeth... not so much. Every now and then I can get her to use that Crest Pro-Health rinse with fluoride and so far only two cavities. She's been lucky - and I think the fact that she drinks so much water helps.

ETA: Since it seems others here also use designation "Kiddo" I decided to use her grandmother's nickname for her - "Storm". Fitting.