Needs good home

[Steely]

I feel your pain. People have said the same to me, many times, "this is the worse case I have ever seen".
Joy!
And how is that helping me now?
That just sunk me to a lower rung of depression thank you very much.

I don't even know what to suggest except - who else could she live with? Her bro? Could you afford her own efficiency apt? Your mom?
(((HUGS)))

 

[crazym&p]

I totally hear you. difficult child 1 told us the other night that she's going to tell her therapist to get her new parents because we are HORRIBLE PARENTS (she was screaming that part.) She said if the therapist doesn't find her new parents she's calling CPS. This was my completely inappropriate response: "Please do. Seriously. Please call them. I'm sure there are tons of parents out there just lined up waiting to bring a child in to their home that argues and refuses to follow directions 24/7. Everyone wants a kid like that. I'm sure you could do much better; you could probably even interview parents and have your choice."

The whole incident was over a stupid hot dog and whether or not I had gotten all of the toilet paper down the drain when I flushed. I could just imagine parents lined up outside my door hoping for a child who follows them into the bathroom to argue that they did not flush the toilet well enough. She says it unsanitary - the same child who refuses to shower, brush her teeth, wash her hands after pooping, or cover her nose when sneezing. I just had to laugh at the thought of someone requesting that on their adoption application

She didn't get the joke.

 

[flutterby]

We had an in-home therapist for a bit through CPS. difficult child ran right over her.

It's not her behavior that makes her such a hard case, although it is worse than it has been. She's so headstrong, she shoots herself in the foot. We've gone through so many tdocs because inevitably, one would set her off - and it didn't take much - and she would absolutely refuse to participate or even be civil to them. And I'd sit there and shake my head and say, "I tried to tell ya." Sometimes I wonder if people think I'm making it up.

Current therapist (a psychologist), for whatever reason, is able to call her on things, hold up the mirror, and while difficult child will get ****** off, she goes back.

However, she started with her almost 2 years ago and difficult child's intention was to get therapist to "fix" me, my son, and my mother and then all would be right in her world. She wouldn't have any more problems. Prozac fixed that thinking, and her anxiety, and she started to look inward. Then she because severely depressed and suicidal and no more prozac. So, here we are again. Nothing is her fault. Everyone else is to blame for all of the many woes in her life - and to hear her tell it, children starving in the slums of a third world country have it better than she does.

Occasionally, she will have moments of clarity - or the ability to reason - and I can get through to her and things will be better for a day or two. Sometimes longer. But, we always end up back here. I do think the not talking to her thing made an impact. She's not used to that.

 

[flutterby]

Crazy, they never get the joke and then get really mad when we laugh.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

I don't think wanting her out of your home sounds horrible at all. If you reread any of the threads I started when I first came here, I said pretty much the same thing as you're saying now.

You have done everything you possibly can to help her. The constant stress, chaos you're living with is destroying you... Like everyone else, I'm really worried about your health. I hope you can find somewhere else for your daughter to live. Things can't continue the way they're going.

Keeping you close in my thoughts... Hugs... SFR

 

[trinityroyal]

FB, I completely agree with the others. It doesn't sound horrible that you want difficult child out of your house. It sounds to me like you're worn completely down and you need to do something lest you fall apart.

I hope that this time CPS etc. are able to find the right sort of help and supports for difficult child and for you. I also think that if not talking to or doing anything for difficult child got the message across to her in the short term, it might be worth trying that for a bit longer. Even if it doesn't get through to difficult child, if it eases the burden on you then that's a good thing in its own right.

Before my difficult child's first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement 3 years ago, I instituted what I call "minimal interaction". I was so stressed and depressed by him, his behaviour and the toll on our family that I just pulled back all the way. I didn't initiate any interactions, and offered only 1 or 2 word responses. Hid out in my bedroom for days on end if that's what it took to minimize contact. I just needed to be away. difficult child did get the message, and even all these years later he still remembers. If he starts to cross a line with me, I cut off communication -- it pulls him up short and he starts toe-ing the line again.

I wonder if something like that might work with you and your difficult child. Feel free to PM me if you want more details. I've given only the bare bones of it here.

Trinity