Never in a million years.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Jun 20, 2011.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I don't know if any of you live with someone that has or is loosing their hearing, but if you do? You have my utmost sympathies. It is horrible. DF and I have a wonderful relationship. There are a lot of things in the last 12 years that have happened to us, which are bad. Physically for him. For me? It's more watching it all happen to him and having your hands tied.

    When we went for a hearing test about six months ago I was probably the happiest woman on the planet. My snarky comments, and exhales, and rolling my eyes and body language were to the point where I thought if I had to repeat ONE.MORE.WORD ;I would scream. DF would usually just stand there. Most days he is a very patient man, I know his loss of hearing frustrates him, and my actions did not help, but you would have to be here to understand the level of frustration before you'd judge me. When I loose my patience? I've surpassed almost everyone I know ten fold. Not that it justifies being immature, or acting out, but when you say the same thing three times, four times, five times and he still says "Wha?" It's frustrating.

    When we got into the hearing aid place? I was sure they would tell him he needed his ears cleaned, or he's just not paying attention to me, After the hearing test? They sat us in another room and the doctor said "Would you like to hear what it's like for him?" I was still a little cocky - and said "Sure." When he was done? I was fighting back tears. What a complete ass I have been. So then he gets fitted with hearing aids - and DF smiles and it's great and the doctor is whispering. It was wondeful. Then? The doctor starts discussing price and takes them out. I had to leave the room. I walked outside took a deep breath and cried anyway. Wouldn't have taken much to figure out I'd been crying despite going to the washroom and doing the coldwater paper towel thing. My nose lights up like rudolph.

    We left, I kept my face out the window - DF says - "Well that wasn't so bad honey I'm so sorry. - I mean I guess we can get flashcards or learn sign language." I mean AGAIN there he is apologizing for being poor, and saying he knows this is going to frustrate ME. I felt about () big. So since then? I've curbed myself and just repeat, repeat, repeat - until he hears me, and when he asks me to speak up - I don't SCREAm - I just yell louder.

    Well in the unemployment office -they posted a notice about a contest - and they sent it out statewide via email. The contest was for a hearing test and hearing aids. You were to write a letter about yourself or someone you know needing one. I wrote for a week, would tear the letter up - it sounded like I was begging - and I was. Oh how could I make anyone understand how frustrating this must be - FOR HIM. I mean for me? I can hear...I'm just a jerk for being so rude to someone who has a handicap - and here I am all over this board for years preaching to high heaven about people with handicapps and the people who are so rude to our kids. Wow - nice Star very nice. Nothing like being complacent in your OWN home. So after feeling like quite the small person? I sat down and I wrote what I felt in my heart. I wrote honestly about what he means to me, my son - and what a real jerk I was and how it upset me when I realized exactly what I'd become in spite of him being so loving and forgiving.

    Got a call a few minutes ago. They also apologized for taking so long to contact us - but the lady said they had so many letters this year more than ever before and it took so long to open them and read all of them. But they got a lovely letter -----mine. And they wanted to tell me I won for DF.

    I just cried. I didn't tell him - because if I didn't win I couldn't bear to see him think there was a chance again.

    I managed to get myself together - and just went to tell him.....He's never seen the letter I wrote. He didn't know I was THAT upset about the whole thing that day. He didn't know I've been beating myself up that much over being a jerk.....he said I have every right to be frustrated. he can't imagine how annoying it must be for me. But MAN WAS HE HAPPY when I told him HE WON.

    lol - I just pretended like -----here's this contest ------and here's my letter......(let him read) and then on the back of the letter ????? I wrote - YOUR APPOINTEMENT DATE.

    He looked and said - "Next tuesday? 10 oclock? I don't get it?" I said YES YOU DO GET IT -YOU WON! MY LETTER WON! hehe



    HOW COOL IS THAT~!
     
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O Star--

    I am fighting the tears reading this! What a gift to your husband...

    Congratulations to you both!!!
     
  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Tearing up here! I'm so happy for your DF. Way to go, now that's love :) I'm thrilled to pieces
     
  4. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Star, you truly do have a gift for words.

    You are a beautiful person.

    Congrats to DF !

    What a wonderful gift !
     
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Star, that is very, very cool. As if the universe had specifically registered your needs for a hearing aid and specifically set things up to get you one. I wish you and DF many, many happy conversations :)
    I felt some sadness and alarm, I have to say though, when I read that you could not get treatment because of the cost... Not to be political, as it were, but I never cease to be grateful for the fantastic healthcare provision here, completely free...
     
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    My eyeballs are dripping and I am grinning from ear to ear!!!

    Because I can imagine... I can imagine that letter and the people that read it...

    Just think - this will be for him - but everyone he deals with will benefit. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!
     
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I got chills reading your post!! That is so wonderful, I'm so happy for you and DF. And just a few days ago you were saying you never win anything!!! Now, you're gonna win the grill next.
     
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Congrats! Dad finally gave in and got hearing aids a few years ago, it can make so much difference.
    Next, we gotta get you that grill.
     
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Star...how wonderful!
     
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh star...I am so happy for you. I do know what it is like being in that situation. Tony is completely deaf in one ear and doesnt have the best hearing in the other. My hearing has gotten much worse since the meningitis and then another ear infection a year and a half after that so we are quite a pair trying to talk to each other. Tiffs are quite frequent when try speak especially when we arent standing right in front of each other.

    I also know how you felt about hearing the costs...I went for the tests and felt like...why? I cant get the aids? What on earth was the purpose of sending me. Tell me I cant hear? I knew that...lol.

    I am so glad you had this opportunity.
     
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    That is AWESOME!!! I am glad that someone other than us has realized what an amazing writer you are!!!! I am so glad that husband can get his hearing aids. NOw he can be like my Gma I and when he doesn't like what you are saying he can scratch his ear - and turn the hearing aid OFF!! LOL!!! It was how Gma handled my Gpa when he was being an idiot!!

    I am so proud of you!!!! I think that they totally picked the right letter and I am so THRILLED for both of you!!!!!
     
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's great, Star!! So even if you don't win the grill, maybe your and husband's lives can become a little bit better and....you finally won something!!
     
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Made me get all teary-eyed too! That's just WONDERFUL and I am so happy for both of you! For once, something finally worked out just exactly the way it should have!
     
  14. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Never in a million years did I think that these contests were won by people who deserved to win...
    Does that make you one-in-a-million?

    I'm the person on the other end of a similar situation... its ME that's the "deaf old lady". husband is pretty good about it - and I'm waiting for surgery, finally - but I don't hear "nuttin". The invisible disabilities are the hardest to get people to understand... somehow, if you're in a wheelchair, people know you can't walk; if you have a really awkward gait, they know you're handicapped somehow, and are not surprised if there are other things wrong too. But hearing? (and vision, and ADHD, and...) I don't wear earings, but some days I'm tempted to get a couple made up custom, with little "out of order" signs on them!
     
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    OH!!!! How wonderful!!!!

    I'm so thrilled for you both. husband deserves this so much, you both do.

    So I think this breaks your current record for not winning anything.......which improves your chance with the grill.

    husband is deaf......well not totally, but enough to cause me to repeat things a zillion times, tv so loud they can hear it down the street, ect. I get irritated not because he's deaf, but because he's deaf but refuses to use his very expensive hearing aides. ugh
     
  17. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Way to go, Star. Big hugs and congrats. Congrats even more for looking twice at the frustration of living with someone who is hearing-handicapped and
    realizing it's WAY more frustrating for the person than for those around him/her. I watched my mother fume and scream at my father for years - my father
    has approximately 5% hearing. Hearing aids help a little but leave him at maybe 30%. But my mother was all about how miserable it was for her, with her
    perfect hearing, to have to repeat things.

    I have inherited hearing loss. Not as bad as my father, but I'm at the very bottom of the 'acceptable' scale with top-line hearing aids. I can't cope in noisy
    situations at all. One thing I would like to lobby for is the inclusion of hearing aid coverage as MANDATORY for those who need them. They're as necessary
    as glasses. Even in Ontario, with socialized medicine, hearing aids are not covered. The first day I had my hearing aids the audiologist told me to only wear
    them an hour or two, to work up to wearing them longer. I cried all the way home in the car. I could HEAR so many things ... and I wondered, would they
    tell people to only wear glasses for an hour a day after being blind all their adult lives? I still marvel at the difference with my aids in or out. So congratulations
    from the bottom of my heart, Star, for being a loving, big-hearted person who looks beyond your own frustration. Your DF will appreciate this every minute of
    every day. I just wish everyone who needs them could have them. It makes me GRRRRR angry that it isn't so. But what a wonderful thing to share with us, hon ....
     
  18. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

  19. ML

    ML Guest

    Star,
    You are so awesome. I have told you many times that your gift with words is something special; a true gift. This post made my day. I am so happy for you and df.
     
  20. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Oh Sweetie that's GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember you telling me the story about his original appointment and I know how much it upset you. I'm so happy for both of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
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