almondjoy
New Member
Hi everyone. I just ran across this site last night. You all seem so nice and I desperately need someone I can talk to on the "outside" about what is going on with my 16yr old son right now.
He says he's depressed. VERY depressed. But it's weird, because the only times he seems extremely depressed to me is when he has gotten in trouble. I know that sounds horrible for a mom to say, and I feel guilty for even thinking that...but I have bipolar disorder myself, so I've "been there, done that", and I'm just not sure what to think right now.
For instance, this past Sunday, he spent most of the day with my nephew (nephew is 14). My son (I'll just call him Scott) drove my nephew around for a long time, they went out to eat together, and to visit a mutual friend together. Scott seemed fine...until I got a call from my sister saying that my nephew had given my son $25 for gas! When I approached Scott about this, he instantly acted very ticked off and defensive. (He gets upset if we question him about anything! But he has given us reason to question him! Last school year, we found out he drank and tried marijuana upstairs in his room!).
Anyway, after I asked him about the $25, he went upstairs to his room. It was late, so my husband and I went to sleep. Unfortunately, Scott didn't :frown: Instead, he cut himself a few times (not deep), and burned himself by heating the tip of the knife he used to cut himself. :frown:
I had made him an appointment with a psychiatrist already, but it wasn't until Nov. 27th, so I called that psychiatrist's office and the secretary said to take him to the ER. The lady that saw him in the ER gave us a name of a different psychiatrist that could get him in faster. So, we see the psychiatrist today at noon.
Back to the examples...night before last, Scott was on his computer very late (about 1am). My husband told him to get off the computer. Yesterday, I noticed an odd ring around Scott's neck...I asked him what it was...it was from wrapping a guitar cord around his neck!!! He said that my husband checking on him so much made him feel "crazy", and that it made him sad and mad so he did that after my husband told him to get off the computer!
Mind you, he seemed fine before he was told to do something or before he got in trouble. I'm just soooo confused! He said that he isn't depressed when he's around his friends. What? How can he go from having fun, laughing and talking, to hurting himself just minutes later? I just don't get it.
I just don't understand what has happened to my little boy! He has talked about being depressed for some time now. Two years ago, we took him to a psychiatrist that diagnosed him with-bipolar disorder...but he did that within 10mins, no kidding! As soon as he heard that I have BiPolar (BP), he instantly said Scott did too. He gave him abilify, which did nothing except cause my son to gain weight pretty rapidly. The psychiatrist refused to switch medications, or even change the dosage! After a couple of months, we stopped going to him since he wouldn't listen to a word I said. At that point, we were having lots of problems with my youngest son, so we didn't immediately pursue getting Scott to another doctor. Obviously, that was a big mistake on my part. Hindsight is 20/20 :frown:
I'm sorry this is so long. It's just hard to explain what is going on with-out writing quite a bit here. What it comes down to is, it seems that Scott does just fine...unless someone questions him about something, or he gets caught doing something he shouldn't. His grades have fallen tremendously the last year or so. I can pinpoint exactly when that happened. Up until the end of his 8th grade year, he was pretty much a straight "A" student and was in the gifted and talented program. But, one of his teachers back then assigned a report. He wouldn't do it! He didn't like her because of a remark she made to him (he made a rude remark in her class about how dumb the report was so she said if he didn't like her class, he could have his schedule changed). The report was a huge project for her class. The worked on it for months. But it was like pulling teeth to get Scott to work on it for 5 minutes! I thought we would never get through that!
He finally finished the report, but that attitude has stayed with him. Last year, he was put in ISS because he was caught with cigarettes at school (3 times!). The same thing happened...he wouldn't do his work. They wouldn't let him out of ISS until he completed the work. It took about a month in ISS before he finally did it! And that was only because he decided he hated the ISS teacher and that was his only way to get away from him.
So, to sum it all up, it seems to me that Scott is doing what Scott wants to do and only seems to get upset if someone questions or accuses him, or catches him doing something he shouldn't! He told me himself that he isn't depressed when he's around his friends.
Looking back, I can see sooo many signs that now make me wonder...like how he has always had such a bad temper! Especially when it comes to his younger brother. For some reason, he seems to set him off the worst! He's a loud child...always making noises of some sort...that gets on Scott's nerves bad. If my youngest son makes too much noise or doesn't do what Scott wants, then Scott threatens him. That has gotten better the last year or so, but I think maybe that has to do with the fact that my youngest son knows not to tick Scott off now. Also, once when Scott was about 10, he got mad at my mom and scratched something really crude on her car! (that was the only time something like that happened)
I wanted to take him to a doctor when he was very young. No one else in my family agreed. They all thought I was over reacting. If only I could go back in time and ignore them now! But like I said earlier, hindsight is 20/20. I know that all I can do now is get him the help NOW. And I certainly intend to do just that. Aside from the psychiatrist appointment today, he also has a therapist appointment this next Tuesday.
One thing that frustrates me a lot is that I know HIS story will be much different than ours! HE will just say that he is sad and depressed...I'm sure he will leave out the part that he only hurts himself when he gets in trouble! I'm afraid that the doctor will immediately say bipolar again, simply because of my diagnosis. (by the way, I have been stable for a long time now). But, I'm just not sure that that is what is going on with Scott. Maybe it is BiPolar (BP) and he just has different symptoms than me, but I want the psychiatrist to really listen to us and consider everything, not just BiPolar (BP) because it's the most logical.
I love Scott soooo much! I want the best for him! He's so smart and I just know his future could be so great...if only.....
He says he's depressed. VERY depressed. But it's weird, because the only times he seems extremely depressed to me is when he has gotten in trouble. I know that sounds horrible for a mom to say, and I feel guilty for even thinking that...but I have bipolar disorder myself, so I've "been there, done that", and I'm just not sure what to think right now.
For instance, this past Sunday, he spent most of the day with my nephew (nephew is 14). My son (I'll just call him Scott) drove my nephew around for a long time, they went out to eat together, and to visit a mutual friend together. Scott seemed fine...until I got a call from my sister saying that my nephew had given my son $25 for gas! When I approached Scott about this, he instantly acted very ticked off and defensive. (He gets upset if we question him about anything! But he has given us reason to question him! Last school year, we found out he drank and tried marijuana upstairs in his room!).
Anyway, after I asked him about the $25, he went upstairs to his room. It was late, so my husband and I went to sleep. Unfortunately, Scott didn't :frown: Instead, he cut himself a few times (not deep), and burned himself by heating the tip of the knife he used to cut himself. :frown:
I had made him an appointment with a psychiatrist already, but it wasn't until Nov. 27th, so I called that psychiatrist's office and the secretary said to take him to the ER. The lady that saw him in the ER gave us a name of a different psychiatrist that could get him in faster. So, we see the psychiatrist today at noon.
Back to the examples...night before last, Scott was on his computer very late (about 1am). My husband told him to get off the computer. Yesterday, I noticed an odd ring around Scott's neck...I asked him what it was...it was from wrapping a guitar cord around his neck!!! He said that my husband checking on him so much made him feel "crazy", and that it made him sad and mad so he did that after my husband told him to get off the computer!
Mind you, he seemed fine before he was told to do something or before he got in trouble. I'm just soooo confused! He said that he isn't depressed when he's around his friends. What? How can he go from having fun, laughing and talking, to hurting himself just minutes later? I just don't get it.
I just don't understand what has happened to my little boy! He has talked about being depressed for some time now. Two years ago, we took him to a psychiatrist that diagnosed him with-bipolar disorder...but he did that within 10mins, no kidding! As soon as he heard that I have BiPolar (BP), he instantly said Scott did too. He gave him abilify, which did nothing except cause my son to gain weight pretty rapidly. The psychiatrist refused to switch medications, or even change the dosage! After a couple of months, we stopped going to him since he wouldn't listen to a word I said. At that point, we were having lots of problems with my youngest son, so we didn't immediately pursue getting Scott to another doctor. Obviously, that was a big mistake on my part. Hindsight is 20/20 :frown:
I'm sorry this is so long. It's just hard to explain what is going on with-out writing quite a bit here. What it comes down to is, it seems that Scott does just fine...unless someone questions him about something, or he gets caught doing something he shouldn't. His grades have fallen tremendously the last year or so. I can pinpoint exactly when that happened. Up until the end of his 8th grade year, he was pretty much a straight "A" student and was in the gifted and talented program. But, one of his teachers back then assigned a report. He wouldn't do it! He didn't like her because of a remark she made to him (he made a rude remark in her class about how dumb the report was so she said if he didn't like her class, he could have his schedule changed). The report was a huge project for her class. The worked on it for months. But it was like pulling teeth to get Scott to work on it for 5 minutes! I thought we would never get through that!
He finally finished the report, but that attitude has stayed with him. Last year, he was put in ISS because he was caught with cigarettes at school (3 times!). The same thing happened...he wouldn't do his work. They wouldn't let him out of ISS until he completed the work. It took about a month in ISS before he finally did it! And that was only because he decided he hated the ISS teacher and that was his only way to get away from him.
So, to sum it all up, it seems to me that Scott is doing what Scott wants to do and only seems to get upset if someone questions or accuses him, or catches him doing something he shouldn't! He told me himself that he isn't depressed when he's around his friends.
Looking back, I can see sooo many signs that now make me wonder...like how he has always had such a bad temper! Especially when it comes to his younger brother. For some reason, he seems to set him off the worst! He's a loud child...always making noises of some sort...that gets on Scott's nerves bad. If my youngest son makes too much noise or doesn't do what Scott wants, then Scott threatens him. That has gotten better the last year or so, but I think maybe that has to do with the fact that my youngest son knows not to tick Scott off now. Also, once when Scott was about 10, he got mad at my mom and scratched something really crude on her car! (that was the only time something like that happened)
I wanted to take him to a doctor when he was very young. No one else in my family agreed. They all thought I was over reacting. If only I could go back in time and ignore them now! But like I said earlier, hindsight is 20/20. I know that all I can do now is get him the help NOW. And I certainly intend to do just that. Aside from the psychiatrist appointment today, he also has a therapist appointment this next Tuesday.
One thing that frustrates me a lot is that I know HIS story will be much different than ours! HE will just say that he is sad and depressed...I'm sure he will leave out the part that he only hurts himself when he gets in trouble! I'm afraid that the doctor will immediately say bipolar again, simply because of my diagnosis. (by the way, I have been stable for a long time now). But, I'm just not sure that that is what is going on with Scott. Maybe it is BiPolar (BP) and he just has different symptoms than me, but I want the psychiatrist to really listen to us and consider everything, not just BiPolar (BP) because it's the most logical.
I love Scott soooo much! I want the best for him! He's so smart and I just know his future could be so great...if only.....