Ok I'm new to the site. So not really sure what I'm doing. I have a ten year old daughter that has pushed both me and her father to past the breaking point. She was a really easy baby but then at 2 she changed over night. We thought at first it was the "terrible twos" and that she would grow out of it. However when the "terrible twos" went on to the "thunderous threes" and "fall-out fours" we started thinking that we must have been bad parents and done something drastically wrong. Then along came another daughter who was totally different. Loving, kind, able to share and easy to deal with. Daughter no 1 became worse with jealousy. We took her to a psychaitrist who said she was bi-polar but I didn't agree because it didn't seem to fit her. So we struggled on alone. But when daughter no2 started to copy her behavior our home became a war zone. We went to another psychaitrist who had daughter no 1 pegged from the start. He recognized her as a prime candidate for ODD. While I was relieved that maybe I wasn't such a terrible parent after all, my relief was short-lived as mental illness still has a huge stigma attached to it. I felt ashamed that I had created an "un-perfect" child. She started taking adderall and her behavior improved dramatically at school once the medications had kicked in. Before and after however it was still a war zone even for the simplest things. And don't even get me started on the disrespect... So the psychatrist introduced intuniv to help combat before and after the adderall. However as yet we have not seen any improvement and I have reached rock bottom. I feel like crying all the time and hate the person she has turned me into. How can I love this child that I dislike so much at the same time? So now I'm at rock bottom I figure the only way now must be up and I've decided my husband and I can no longer deal with this alone. That's where you come in... I'll read anything that will help or take any online course you think will help - just please I need to know that we're going to make it through this.